The Courage to Be Yourself: Living Life on Your Own Terms

As a psychotherapist, I often sit with people who feel torn between what they want and what others expect of them, between what they feel and what they think they “should” feel. Invisible rules, self-doubt, guilt or fear often burden them, yet underneath it all, there is usually a quiet question whispering: “Can I live my life as myself?”

Yes you can! And more than that, you deserve to. We spend so much time figuring out what we ought to do – the right thing, the thing other people want us to do – feeling like we ‘should’ do this or ‘have to’ do that.  At the end of the day, it’s our life, our choices and our consequences.

You Have One Life. And it’s Yours.

There is no dress rehearsal. No draft version. This is your one and only precious life. The more you try to shape yourself into someone who pleases everyone else at the expense of your wellbeing or what you want for yourself, the further you drift from being your true self. That disconnection from your values, needs and desires is often where anxiety, low mood and feeling very flat develop.

We are shaped by the families and cultures in which we grow up. We internalise what is “allowed, ” ” appropriate, ” ” successful,” or “encouraged” from a very early age. But part of being an adult and healing ourselves involves questioning our internalised messages.

• Who are you beneath the roles you perform?
• What matters to you? (Not what should matter, but what actually matters?)
• What do you need – not to function but to flourish?

It Takes Courage to Choose Yourself

Being yourself is not easy. Sometimes it means saying no when others expect yes. Sometimes it means risking disapproval from people very close to you. It might mean that you’re stepping away from relationships or roles that no longer fit. Choosing yourself, your wellbeing, your authenticity, your peace is not selfish – it is self-respect and self-love.

The courage to be yourself is not always loud or defiant. It is often quiet. It is the decision to rest when you feel guilty for slowing down. It is the moment you say “Actually, this doesn’t work for me anymore.” It is doing something different even when nobody notices but you’re prioritising what you need for you.

What Therapy Can Offer

Therapy is not about fixing what is broken. It is about exploring who you are beneath the noise and giving yourself permission to be.  In therapy we look at the stories you have been told about who you are supposed to be. We examine the weight you are carrying and ask if it is really yours to continue to hold. Little by little we can build the confidence, boundaries and clarity which allow you to live more freely and fully – and to be you, yourself.

You Do Not Need to Justify the Life You Want

You do not owe anyone an explanation for doing what is right for you. Whether it is how you dress, who you love, the job you choose or the way you spend your free time – it is enough that it matters to you.  We are not here to be palatable, to perform or to shrink. We are here to be real. Whole. Human.

A Gentle Reminder

If you are feeling the pull to change something, to reclaim something, to finally let yourself be who you are – why not follow it?  You do not need permission

The life you want is not selfish or silly. It is sacred. It is yours.

Caroline Crotty – Psychotherapist
www.carolinecrotty.ie
hello@carolinecrotty.ie