Anxiety manifests through various symptoms, which can be categorised as psychological (such as restlessness and excessive worry) and physical (including increased heart rate, insomnia, and tension headaches).
Sometimes, anxiety feels like a persistent worry or fear that doesn’t subside, even in the absence of immediate danger. It’s akin to an internal alarm that sounds too frequently without any clear or obvious trigger. This false alarm can lead to feelings of nervousness, restlessness, or tension and physical reactions such as a racing heart, sweating, shaking, or dizziness. It’s like a fleet of fire engines responding to an apartment block for burnt toast!
Incorporating natural strategies into daily routines can significantly mitigate the impact of anxiety. These methods include:
Physical Activity: Regular exercise is a powerful anxiety reliever. It releases neurotransmitters such as endorphins and endocannabinoids, enhancing our well-being. Activities like jogging, swimming, or cycling improve sleep and also utilise the stress hormones released during anxious states, promoting both mental and physical health.
Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices encourage living in the present moment and observing thoughts and feelings without judgment, which can aid in emotional regulation and stress reduction.
Dietary Adjustments: Managing caffeine and sugar intake/consumption can improve anxiety levels and have an overall positive impact on our health.
Sleep: Anxiety can disrupt sleep, and poor sleep can exacerbate anxiety. Establishing a relaxing bedtime routine and ensuring a comfortable sleep environment are essential for improving sleep quality and managing anxiety.
Breathing Techniques: Diaphragmatic breathing, which focuses on deep, even breaths, can help calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety. Practising these techniques when calm to prepare for stressful situations is beneficial.
Nature: Spending time outdoors can lower stress levels, reduce rumination, and enhance mood due to nature’s calming effects.
Journaling: Writing about our thoughts and feelings can help organise them and reduce anxiety by providing a way to identify and address worries.
Aromatherapy: Certain scents, such as lavender, are known for their calming effects. Engaging other senses with calming music, soft fabrics, or a comforting shower can also help soothe anxiety.
Social Support: Building a network of friends and family can provide a sense of belonging and security, reducing feelings of isolation and anxiety.
I say this all the time but please start with baby steps in the right direction. Be patient with yourself. Praising yourself and others can boost morale every day.
For a comprehensive approach to managing anxiety, consult with mental health professionals such as psychologists or your healthcare practice nurse in addition to your General Practitioner. Talking about your worries is a crucial step in managing anxiety effectively.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Anxiety is like having a persistent worry or fear that doesn’t go away easily, even if there’s no immediate danger. It’s a bit like having an alarm inside you that goes off too often, and sometimes, there might be no clear reason. That alarm can make you feel nervous, restless, or tense. It can affect your body, causing things like a racing heart, sweating, physically shaking or feeling wobbly. It’s kind of like a fleet of fire engines coming to your home when there’s no fire – sometimes anxiety is a physiological reaction that does not match the situation.
Everyone feels anxious from time to time, like before an interview or a test or when facing something unknown. That’s when anxiety is positive – it keeps us focused. Feeling anxious is our body’s natural response to stress. Anxiety often manifests through symptoms like restlessness, excessive worry, and physical signs such as increased heart rate or insomnia.
Incorporating natural strategies into daily routines can significantly mitigate anxiety’s impact. Natural methods to manage anxiety and its symptoms include the following but it’s important to explore a variety of strategies to find what works best for you as an individual.
Physical activity is a powerful anxiety reliever. Regular exercise helps release endorphins, natural brain chemicals that can enhance our sense of well-being. Exercise improves our sleep and reduces stress. Aerobic exercises like jogging, swimming, or walking can be effective.
Mindfulness practices encourage living in the present moment and observing thoughts and feelings without judgment. Meditation can help with emotional regulation and reducing stress levels.
Diet has an impact on mental health. Reducing caffeine and sugar intake can help manage anxiety levels and have an overall positive impact on our bodies and minds.
Anxiety can disrupt sleep and poor sleep can exacerbate anxiety. Establishing a regular, relaxing bedtime routine and ensuring a comfortable sleep environment can improve sleep quality, helping manage anxiety.
Techniques such as diaphragmatic breathing, where you focus on deep, even breaths, can help calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety. Practice when calm for use when anxious.
Spending time in nature can lower stress levels. Nature’s calming effect on the mind is associated with reduced rumination and enhanced mood.
Writing can provide an outlet for expressing what’s on your mind and may help to reduce anxiety by organising thoughts and finding solutions.
Certain scents, like lavender, have been found to have a calming effect. Feed your senses to feel more calm. Feed your main senses (sound, touch, smell, taste, touch) by using calming music, aromas you enjoy, having soft fabrics on your skin etc.
Building a support network of friends and family can provide a sense of belonging and security, reducing feelings of isolation and anxiety.
These suggestions offer a holistic approach to reducing stress and anxiety. Start small by taking baby steps in the right direction!
Incorporating these natural strategies can provide relief from anxiety and its symptoms. Be patient with yourself. Praise yourself for everything you do. They may not be a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment so please consult with a healthcare provider for a comprehensive approach to managing anxiety.
www.carolinecrotty.ie Caroline Crotty BSocSc MA MSc Psych MPsychSci
Dealing with the aftermath of a poor business decision can be incredibly challenging and emotional. When someone close to you is experiencing business decision regret and coping with disappointment in business, offering empathy and understanding is crucial. Your support can make a big difference in their ability to move forward after a setback.
Empathy and Support During Business Challenges
An unfortunate choice in business can lead to deep feelings of regret, self-blame, disappointment, and profound anxiety about the future. Let your loved one know you’re there for them. Being a non-judgmental sounding board provides them with someone to talk to about their challenges, which can ease the emotional impact of a business setback. After all, two heads are better than one when it comes to coping with regret and self-blame.
Listening without judgment is vital. Allow them to express their thoughts and feelings about the business failure openly. Assure them that their reactions—whether it’s worry, fear, or upset—are completely normal. During such times, their decision-making abilities might feel clouded, and they may find themselves fixating on what went wrong rather than exploring solutions.
Why Regret Happens in Business and How to Cope
Regret often comes from disliking the outcome of a business decision that didn’t go as planned. It’s common to ruminate on “what ifs” and “should haves” but this can be counterproductive. Remind them that setbacks are temporary and that they cannot change the past. Moving forward after a bad business decision involves accepting current circumstances while working on a recovery plan.
Making mistakes is part of life, especially in business. Reassure them that business decision regret doesn’t define them as a person. Encourage them to see regret as a sign of thoughtfulness rather than a failure, and remind them that learning from business mistakes is a stepping stone toward future success.
Encouraging Self-Care and Stress Relief After Business Failure
During this stressful period, encourage self-care to help them cope with financial stress and business-related anxiety. Regular exercise, proper nutrition, and relaxation are excellent ways to reduce anxiety and improve sleep. They should also consider reconnecting with loved ones to maintain a support system.
Once they’ve shared their feelings, gently steer them towards finding solutions rather than fixating on the past. Together, you might brainstorm ways to mitigate the impact of the decision or explore new business opportunities. Sometimes, setbacks pave the way for growth in unexpected directions, like pursuing further education, a career shift, or new ventures.
Seeking Expert Guidance and Setting Concrete Goals
If needed, encourage them to seek input from professionals such as financial advisors, business mentors, or legal consultants. These experts can provide unbiased advice, help with recovery from financial mistakes, and suggest practical strategies for moving forward.
Having a clear plan for the short and long term can also help restore a sense of control. Encourage them to set goals and take notes, even if they’re simple, as a way of staying focused. Goal-setting, even in small steps, can reduce feelings of helplessness and build momentum toward progress.
Learning from Business Mistakes for Personal Growth
When the time feels right, encourage them to reflect on the experience and examine the lessons learned from the setback . This should be done with care, as dwelling too much on the past can intensify feelings of dread or self-blame. Instead, try to frame it as an opportunity for personal and professional growth- a reminder that one business decision does not define an entire future.
Each setback is unique, and so is each recovery journey. What works for one person may not work for another. Encourage them to keep a long-term perspective and remember that setbacks in business are typically temporary.
Providing Support and Encouragement
In times of distress, simply being there to listen can be the greatest gift you can offer. Encourage planning and open dialogue—if not with you, then perhaps with a professional therapist who can provide a supportive space for reflection. Remember, your role is to help them focus on the future and the long-term perspective while providing the support they need during this difficult time.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
September marks the beginning of autumn. It brings with it new beginnings. Perhaps your child is starting nursery or primary school. Maybe your adolescent is moving away to attend university or starting a new job having finished school. There may be a heavy financial burden with childminding, uniforms, books or education fees. September is a time of significant change. With change, comes stress.
Here are some reminders of what you already know that you can put into place to help you (and to help your worried child).
Adults and children worry. Children pick up on how their parents are feeling, so try to remain calm and speak calmly with your children. Don’t put your worries on to your children.
If you have a worried child, please let them know that you understand something is going on for them. Encourage them to chat with you about whatever is on their mind. Be sensitive to their needs. Give them your undivided attention if they are speaking with you. Ask how they are feeling about whatever is going on. (Do not ask ‘are you stressed about returning to school?’ as it’s too leading). Listen to their response. It might not be what you expect. Resist the temptation to swoop in and make everything okay and fix the issue. Instead, allow your child to voice their concerns without interruption. Talking through fears is beneficial (depending on age). Be reassuring. Validate worries and feelings. Explain that you understand. Thank them for telling you. Ask them what you can do to help. Ask them what they can do to help themselves which gives children a sense of control and fosters solutions-focused thinking.
Well-intentioned parents might allow their child to avoid school if they don’t want to go. However, avoiding school will not help your child. School refusal will not be improved by avoiding the source of stress (i.e. school). Get your child into school, even if it just for the classes until first break. Be firm but encouraging despite your own feelings. Consistently attending school will eventually settle your child’s upset.
Give praise for confiding in you and doing their best. Ask if they want to hear your suggestions. Return to school nerves are usually temporary. Be consistent in your message that there is a solution for every problem or that we can work towards acceptance following trauma.
How you help your child is how you can help yourself. Model positive coping skills and a positive outlook. There are several facets to minding our health and staying healthy such as eating well, exercising, getting sufficient sleep, and taking time out. There are five steps to improving emotional health and wellbeing that are true for adults and children: Connecting, Learning, Giving, Activity, and Focusing!
You are your child’s role model. Model the behaviour you want to see in your child.
Connecting can help us feel more satisfied with life as it provides a sense of belonging – visiting a neighbour, walking with someone, joining a volunteering group etc. Being with others affords us an opportunity to express ourselves and we connect by listening, so it’s win/win. When our social circle is tiny (or non-existent) September might be the best time to become involved in something locally!
Giving to others helps us feel more positive and provides a sense of purpose. Giving promotes connecting. Bake a cake, offer to teach someone how to do something or give thanks by sending a text/card/email.
Learning new things can boost our self-esteem and optimism. Learning does not have to be academic – learn how to draw, paint, sing or play ukulele.
Activity benefits physical and emotional wellbeing. Physical activity changes the chemicals in our brains and can improve our self-esteem.
Focusing attention on thoughts, feelings and physical sensations can improve our mood. Having something to look forward to and focusing on deep breathing are beneficial!
Your day will go the way the corners of your mouth turn.
“Worrying is time well spent ” said no one. Ever!
Recall an event that you wasted time worrying about. Perhaps you worried so much, that you were snappy and irritable with your friends or family. Maybe you spent nights unable to fall asleep or once asleep, couldn’t stay asleep and kept waking. You may even have run through every possible negative scenario, (i.e. catastrophising) about the event and examined all the ways in which disaster could strike!
Back to reality now! Did any of that worry change anything about the event? Even though you worried, you had zero control over what took place. Worrying did not determine or govern the outcome.
For one minute, imagine that you know exactly what lies ahead in life, that you know what is going to happen and when. Ask yourself whether it is possible to be certain about everything in life. Being 100% certain about life would mean that you know what results we will get in exams, or whether we will succeed in a new job or in a relationship. We would know whether Tipp or KK will win the All-Ireland Hurling Final 2019. We would also know when we and our loved ones are going to die.
So, instead of worrying, perhaps it might be time to take a different approach and use your time more wisely by learning to accept uncertainty.
When we worry, we often over-exaggerate the likelihood of something going wrong. However, challenging our irrational thoughts about uncertainty can help. In my experience, it’s the uncertainty that we don’t like, it doesn’t sit well with us. We want to know what’s going to happen, sometimes because we think we can be prepared.
The next time you are worrying, ask yourself:
What exactly am I bothered about?
Is it probable, likely or guaranteed?
Is this a feeling or is this a fact?
Is this my imagination?
If I can start a sentence with “what if…” the likelihood is that this is my amazing imagination!
People tell me that being prepared for every eventuality can seem useful and give a sense of security and I question whether this is true.
If you think like this, it might be an idea to take out a pen and sheet of paper and challenge your belief that we need to or have to worry and answer the following questions:
· Can I be certain about my future?
· Are there advantages to being certain about everything?
· Are there disadvantages to wanting certainty of outcome?
· Why do I need to have certainty about the future?
· Do I predict that bad things will happen because they are uncertain?
· What is the likelihood that my predictions will come true?
· Can I live with uncertainty? (Nothing in life is certain except death).
So rather than worry about the uncertainty of the future, perhaps you might instead try to focus on your breath and breathing as outlined here. Get up and move to a different location in your house or at work – this can help to reset your mind. Pay close attention and listen to the sounds around you. What can you hear? What are the sensations in your body? Can you feel your feet in your shoes? Can you wriggle your toes? Grounding yourself in the here and now can be helpful when you are prone to succumbing to worrying about (potential) future events. Check out the 54321 grounding technique here .
We all worry but for some of us it can be problematic at various times throughout our lives. Talking therapies and cognitive behavioural therapy – CBT – can help you challenge unhelpful or negative thoughts. Don’t be afraid to ask for help to tackle your worry.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Information Overload isn’t new. It has more recently changed so that now, rather than have too many books to read, we have technology demanding our attention. We too are demanding of attention or potentially vying for the attention of others on social media. We are slowly learning that too much screen time may affect our attention span. Learning To Pay Attention to ourselves is beneficial and using a breathing meditation is time spent caring for you i.e. self-care.
Self-care is not self-indulgent, it is vital. Depending on our age, we may not have been taught about self-care in school but as adults, we independently learn that in order to give our best we must care and look after our bodies and minds.
A short breathing meditation can help us relax, gain focus and manage our worries or stressful thoughts.
I am not a mindfulness teacher neither am I am meditation master. My training is in counselling and psychotherapy. However, in my experience, when we learn how to focus our minds on something other than worry or bothersome thoughts, our attention can be a remarkably useful tool.
We can’t stop thoughts or worries from popping into our minds but what do we do with them once there? We can allow any thoughts to be present, while we learn how to bring our attention to our breath.
Using a meditation exercise can help us to be present in the here and now and not back in the past or flying off into the future, not caught up in our imagination. This is not about controling our thoughts or getting rid of them.
Mindfulness involves practicing bringing our attention back to the present, to the here and now – whenever it wanders off.
As an analogy, attention is like a muscle. If we don’t regularly use the muscle, it can become weaker. However, with regular exercise we can strengthen and build it.
Meditation exercises, like learning any new skill, require practice. Here’s one that takes only three minutes initially which, in time, can be increased to ten mins twice per day. In my experience, allowing ourselves even a couple of minutes every day to mindfully breathe is beneficial and relaxing.
Sit in a chair and get yourself comfy. Pay attention to your body and ask yourself, “what do I feel right now? What are my feelings? And what are my thoughts?” Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and to all the sensations in your body. Describe these experiences to yourself. Don’t judge or alter anything. Accept. Spend up to one minute doing this.
Bring your focus of awareness to your breath. Focus on the sensations of your breath as it enters and leaves your tummy. Bring your awareness to the sensations of movement in your tummy and allow your thoughts to go, to leave you as you breathe. Breathe in as you say ‘relax’ and on each exhalation say “calm”. If your mind wanders, do not try to change the thoughts or make them leave. Acknowledge their presence, allow them to be there, then allow them to go, returning your attention and focus to your breath and breathing. Spend up to two minutes doing this.
Extend your awareness to sensing your whole body breathing. Become aware of sensations throughout your body. If your mind wanders to various thoughts or feelings, acknowledge them and let them go and return your focus to sen1sing your whole body breathing. Spend about two mins doing this.
As you become more familiar with this skill of “letting go”, wherein you choose to notice but let go of thoughts, emotions or sensations, this is the ideal time to increase the time. Acknowledge and appreciate what you are doing, allowing yourself time to settle your mind, to breathe, to pay attention to you.
Attention is like a muscle and with regular exercise, a muscle works really well! Breathing meditation is the same – the more often you allow yourself time to do it, the easier it gets as the more skilled you become!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
You might feel lonely that your youngest is starting school or it may seem like only yesterday when it was your child’s first day at school and now he/she’s leaving home to start a third level course.
For some parents, a child starting school is super exciting, while it can be heart-breaking for other parents. Feeling anxious about the start of school term is to be expected because it is a big change. Whatever is happening in your household right now, stay focused and remain relaxed!
It is normal for your child (regardless of age) to have worries and concerns about school. Fears can vary from “which teacher?”; “where will I sit?”; “what if the bus doesn’t stop?”; “what if my friends aren’t my friends anymore?”; “maybe I won’t fit in”; “what if I don’t know what to say”……the list goes on.
Helpful tips
Ensure you have some one-to-one time with each of your children every day and at least every week go for a walk or play some music together or take a spin in the car or chat while doing a chore together etc.
Chat with your child(ren). Your message is always “I’m here to listen” and “I am your ally” so your child(ren) can approach you with worries and will be assured that together you will devise a plan of action to tackle their fears head-on.
Listen to the small things so your child knows you will be there for the big things as they age and worries change.
Encourage your child to share their feelings with you or their other parent / responsible adult. Explain that changes associated with returning/starting school can be difficult, that worries are okay and that it is beneficial to talk about them.
When your child is anxious, it may be easy to become stressed. The more grounded you are the better. It is comforting for your child to see that you are relaxed about a situation particularly when your child is anxious about it. Your child is looking to you for comfort and reassurance, if you react it may send the wrong message to your child and they may panic even more.
When your child comes to you and says they are worried about something, please be careful not to dismiss their worries or undermine their fears. Do not say “don’t worry” or “everyone feels like that”. Instead, chat about what course of action your child can take to help alleviate the worry. Encourage your child to work through the anxiety and to problem-solve. Try to empathise by saying “I see that you’re worried about this”.
Don’t dismiss fears as silly or say “that’s nothing“. When your child comes to you stop whatever you’re doing and listen carefully – show that you are interested in finding a solution. Listening to your child means that you allow them time to speak and time to think about what they want to tell you – don’t jump in too fast or finish sentences! Take time, listen and reflect back what you hear so your child knows you are paying close attention and that what they tell you is important to you.
Don’t break your child’s confidence by discussing their worries behind their back and making fun of them – they won’t confide in you again if they discover that you’re not trustworthy!
Encourage your child to be solutions-focused “what helps you feel relaxed?” or “what can you do that might help you feel better?”
Encourage your child to think about the nice things that happened during the day to gear their attention away from anxious thoughts particularly at night time. A nice way to finish the day is to ask your child, when saying good night, “what’s the best thing that happened today?” or “what was your favourite part of today?”
Praise. Praise. Praise. Every time your child handles a tricky situation and manages their anxiety give plenty praise. Be encouraging. As a parent you can’t always fix everything or be around to offer constant reassurance, but you can give your child the confidence to believe in their own abilities to overcome worries and concerns.
Think about how you behave when you are tired and hungry – we as adults are easily irritated. Your child may be irritable because of hunger or tiredness. It is important to have a good back-to-school routine for sleep and for meals. Watch portion sizes. Don’t reward your child(ren) with food items, instead reward with a trip to the playground or a comic or art materials. Stick to your screen time schedule (i.e. set limits to the amount of time, no screens in the bedroom or at the meal table). So very many children head to bed but not to sleep and school work and concentration suffer as a result of being on line into the small hours.
To recap, chat with your child, stay grounded, be and encourage your child to be solutions-focused, encourage and praise and stick to the back-to-school routine for sleep, food and screen-time!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Anxiety is as natural as breathing! Although we often view it as negative, anxiety is not all bad – it helps keep us motivated and focused, it changes our behaviour in a productive way i.e. look how anxiety gets us going when we are nearing an assignment or work deadline!
However, if you are wasting time thinking about worst case scenarios or catastrophising – here are 20 top-tips to help alleviate those anxious feelings:
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Do you know someone who is happy? Perhaps you are that happy person. What ‘happy’ means to me may differ to how you would define it. There are possibly as many definitions of ‘happiness’ as there are people.
Various factors impact and contribute to our overall sense of happiness from involvement in our communities to celebrations, weather, finances, family etc. I don’t have enough space here to examine influences on or definitions of happiness but in my experience, everyone wants to be happy.
Ask yourself ‘Do I want to be happy? If the answer is ‘yes’ put a plan of action into place. We all know that life is not fair but being happy requires an investment of your time and effort because happy people work at being happy.
If you want to be happy follow these tips:
Accept yourself completely – just as you are AND accept your reality. This means you accept your family, house, appearance, birthplace, strengths/limitations, history etc. Acceptance is the key to happiness. (This is not easy but it is vital).
Learn something new – how to put up a shelf, knit, sew, bake a sponge cake – keep your brain active with new knowledge and skills.
Forgive yourself for mistakes you have made. Forgive others for theirs. Let go of resentments – it is difficult to be happy with a heavy heart.
Engage in activities. Start a new hobby such as yoga or Bridge. Join a club or start one e.g. a book club or dinner club with your neighbours/friends.
Spend time with people that make you feel good, ideally positive people. Avoid people who stress you out or drain your energies.
Have a sense of purpose. Happy people have something to do or somewhere to go (even if it is just to the shop for milk).
Do things you are good at, that you enjoy, that are fun or make you feel good. Do them often.
Say NO. If you don’t want to do something don’t do it. If you do, then do so without complaint.
Acknowledge that you are not responsible for other people’s reactions, you are only responsible for yours.
Find your voice and say when you are unhappy about something. (Say I feel x when y because z)
Nurture a loving relationship with YOU. Happy people give themselves breaks and let themselves off the hook. They learn how to relax and how to manage anxieties/stresses.
Set short-term achievable goals. Don’t set yourself up for failure by setting unattainable goals! Set a goal, achieve it, acknowledge the achievement then set new goals!
Invest time in others. Make time for your partner, children, friends, neighbours or strangers.
Watch your language. I don’t mean swear words I mean self-talk. Say only positive things and use only positive words particularly when talking about you.
Help others because it makes us feel happy. Help willingly. Volunteer in your community or to do something nice for a neighbour.
Your brain believes you must be happy if you are smiling, it immediately raises your mood. Smiles are contagious.
Treat your body as well as you can. Eat well, hydrate, keep moving and breathe slowly.
Be kind and gentle, forgiving and compassionate with YOU and others.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
If we are attempting to change our thinking pattern it can be helpful to analyse what we are saying to ourselves (in our minds). When we know what our thoughts are, then we can work towards replacing negative or illogical thoughts with more positive, rational ones.
Is your thinking realistic? Is it catastrophic? Are you logical? Are you mind-reading? Is your thinking magical (if x then y)?
To challenge negative thoughts or irrational thinking, try completing each of the following questions outlined in bold on a writing pad every day. I have inserted a sample answer.
If you find answering all the questions difficult at first, perhaps start on week one with just the first two questions and the following week answer the first three questions and so on. Before you know it, you’ll be automatically challenging your negative thoughts.
In my car driving home from work.
Someone pulled into the road in front of me and caused me to brake hard. I got a fright because I nearly crashed.
How can people be so thoughtless. That driver is so reckless. He didn’t think about me or the dangers. I could have rear-ended that car. My insurance premium would sky-rocket. I can’t afford another bill. He is such an idiot.
I was fuming. I was so angry I was shaking. I felt like giving him a piece of my mind. I could feel my face turn red and my heart-beat quicken.
I shouted and shook my fist at the driver. I banged my fist on the steering wheel. I drove more quickly.
I didn’t crash. The driver was probably distracted by something else and didn’t see me. This is nothing personal. I can ignore the incident because it is not going to be important in a year’s time. I can focus on the radio, music or calm breathing instead of getting angry. I am in control of my emotions and my thoughts. I am okay. Pull back and allow a greater distance in between me and the car in front because that helps keep me calm.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
We tend to have a rather negative view of ‘anxiety’ however, anxiety is normal. If we were about to sit an exam or take a driver’s test it would be natural to feel anxious. Anxiety can be beneficial as it helps to keep us motivated, alert and focused.
Anxiety is in fact our bodies’ way of preparing us to cope with a perceived threat – our bodies’ inbuilt alarm system. When we experience anxiety our bodies’ natural freeze, flight or flight response is activated.
Imagine waking in the middle of the night because you thought you heard an intruder in your home – my guess is that you would be pretty anxious. Take a few seconds to try to imagine the sensations you would experience in your body. Our bodies and minds react together so there are physical sensations to anxiety.
When we perceive a danger (intruder), our bodies release stress hormones causing physical reactions such as our hearts beating faster; we start sweating, feel dizzy or fuzzy-headed, our muscles tense and our breathing quickens. Our body is preparing to run away (flight); defend itself (fight) or we might be glued to the spot, staying perfectly still, hiding under the duvet until the intruder is gone rather like a deer caught in the headlights (freeze). While all this is going on for our bodies, our brains continually process the situation and evaluate the threat.
Say “the intruder” turns out to be a family member rummaging in the kitchen for a midnight snack, then the freeze/fight/flight response is called-off by our brains, however, we may still feel very shaky, with sweaty palms and a racing heart even though we know we are not in mortal danger.
We may feel anxious when there is no intruder in our home and there is no actual physical threat. Feelings of anxiety can be mild (uneasiness) or severe (panic). As well as affecting our bodies, anxiety affects how we think, feel and act.
Anxiety can interfere with everyday living because anxious thoughts increase the feelings of anxiety and the symptoms of anxiety and a cycle of anxiety can be created. People may begin to avoid certain social situations in an attempt to avoid feeling anxious. However, these situations are most likely not life-threatening and are probably regular events like going to the shops, using buses, talking to people, attending parties etc. Anxiety can prevent people from doing things or attending events which they previously enjoyed. Feeling like you are under constant attack or that you need to run away is exhausting and draining. Anxiety can cause us to have a sick feeling, and need to run to the bathroom or perhaps we are put off our food because we feel nauseous.
Learning about anxiety is beneficial to gaining control over our anxiety. Anxiety is particular for each person and the ways in which it can be alleviated vary from person to person. What works for me (music and singing) may not work for you but you will learn how to regain control in time. Self-soothing is something that we can all develop to help combat anxiety.
Exercise works wonders for anxiety because exercise helps remove stress hormones while releasing feel-good hormones. Exercise also helps improve our sleep.
Relaxation is not just watching television. Learning a new relaxation skill such as progressive muscle relaxation is a beneficial strategy which helps people become aware of feeling relaxed by tensing then relaxing muscle groups throughout the body.
Breathing exercises take a while to perfect but are remarkably worthwhile. When we are anxious, our breathing becomes shallow and fast. We may even hyperventilate. Practicing calm breathing (where you inhale slowly through the nose, pause and exhale slowly through the mouth) is an excellent tool for anxiety reduction and can be used anytime anywhere – more information available on www.carolinecrotty.ie/calm-breathing/
Practicing visualisation helps with relaxation such as “you are on a warm, sunny beach, lying on the sand, feeling the sun on your skin…” Try to think of a place either real or imaginary where you like to be. Spend time thinking about how lovely it is to be there in that nice place.
Consciously taking time, every day, to look at the sky and clouds and daydream can be of benefit.
If you have feelings of anxiety that are affecting your daily living please talk to a trusted friend, family member or a healthcare professional. Remember the old adage ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’. Anxiety is normal but sharing your thoughts and worries can reduce their scariness and help you gain perspective.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Sometimes our thoughts can be negative and we have trouble trying to stop or think of something positive. If we are on a cycle of negative thinking, it is not beneficial and we must somehow stop. It is difficult to be happy while thinking negatively.
When stuck on a negative thinking treadmill, ask yourself the following questions:
Is this a thought or a feeling or is it a fact?
Is this thought beneficial? Is it making me feel good?
What proof or evidence do I have that my thought is true?
What proof or evidence do I have that my thought is not true?
Am I jumping to conclusions?
Am I thinking of the worst case scenario?
What would my friend advise me to do right now?
What would I advise my friend / family member to do in the same situation?
What is the worst thing that could happen? If it does happen, what could I do to help me cope?
Will this be important in six months’ time? Will it matter in two years’ time?
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Everyone gets worried from time to time but if your thinking keeps spiralling out of control and into chronic worrying it may be time to seek help. Worry and stress can have different symptoms that affect both our bodies and our minds.
Do you find that you:
Jump to negative conclusions.
Spend time worrying or feel distracted at work or at home.
Try to predict the future but the outcome is never good. For example someone at work mentions that the boss wants to see you and you immediately think “I’m in big trouble” or “I’m going to be fired”.
Think the worst? For example a family member is late home and you think he/she might be involved in a car crash.
Have a mind like a washing machine on spin-cycle with oodles of different thoughts, worries and ideas and you just can’t get them to stop.
Have a feeling of dread or unease and you don’t know why.
Have difficulty falling asleep at night or, once asleep, you wake in the middle of the night and spend hours trying to get back to sleep.
Feel tension in your shoulders, or get headaches or regularly get an upset tummy.
Cry or become annoyed very easily.
Have a ‘tight’ feeling in your chest.
Just not feel like yourself.
Therapy helps you to recognise your unique individual signs and symptoms of worry and stress and it teaches you how to regain control and stop yourself from worrying about things over which you have no control.
I can help you to understand what is happening for you physically and emotionally and help you to learn how to cope and to relax. By learning how to regain control your mind and thoughts, you learn how to manage the worry and stress and ultimately control what is going on in your mind – so that if you have a negative thought you can quickly stop it and change it to a more logical and rational thought. After therapy you will sleep better, feel more positive and confident because you will be in control.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Caroline Crotty Counselling & Psychotherapy Limited - 636306 - Suite 7, Block A, South Terrace Medical Centre, Infirmary Road, Cork T12 WF40
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