Take positive action!

Make the most of the okay/good times so we can be better equipped for difficult times. Life is messy and complicated. Here are some ways to take positive action to help us feel better and cope well with whatever comes our way.

We have one body. Care for and cherish it. When we are fit, we feel strong, confident, and ready to face the world head-on.

Eat foods that are not processed. Enforce that rule for children in the run-up to mealtimes (e.g. veg, fruit).

Drink water first thing in the morning and hydrate throughout the day. Get up earlier than you currently do. Use that time to stretch and write a plan for the day ahead.

Love yourself right now. Do not wait for some imaginary point in the future. You are the youngest you will ever be today!

Be amused by simple things. Laugh at your mistakes. Stop taking yourself seriously.

Be mindful of wandering into unhelpful and unpleasant thoughts about either the past or the future. Recall past events to examine the lessons learned but not to give yourself a hard time. The future is imaginary. When we start a sentence with “what if…..” it’s usually an anxious thought. We rarely say, “what if it’s a raging success” or “what if I love it”. Make plans and set goals. Take control of your thoughts and tackle your worries by becoming aware and challenging any negative inner dialogue.

Give praise generously (yourself and others).

Practice the skill of living in the moment. Learn a relaxation technique such as calm breathing, yoga, meditation etc. Watch birds feed or the trees move in the breeze. Walk barefoot in the garden or beach. Create space in your day to create space in your mind.

Smile. Even if wearing a mask. It lifts your mood.

Stay connected to others. Phone people for a chat. Better still, meet someone for a walk. Offer help whenever you can. Say “no” whenever you can’t. We feel good when we are helping. Bake for neighbours or give friends flowers from your garden. Treat yourself to things you enjoy such as a bubbly bath.

Comparisons never work and they don’t change anything! Stop mind reading or guessing what others think.

Be gentle in your thoughts, behaviour, and words.

Schedule time every week to tackle your worries. Write them down, examine them. Make a plan of action. Ask yourself what advice you’d give to a close friend about a problem you face and then take your own advice! Allow people to help you. Seek counsel and support.

Complaining or gossiping do not bring about positive change.

Learn to let go of your attachment to physical things. De-clutter. Let go of the past and of unrealistic expectations.

Forgive as best you can. Accept whatever wrongdoings that happened. Leave your past in the past and learn to be forward-facing (towards your future). Despite all that has happened, you are alive. Celebrate living.

We are all human. We make mistakes. Everyone is vulnerable. We all have a breaking point and a limit. You never know what is going on in someone’s life or head. Always be kind.

You hold a unique place in this world.

You make a difference.

www.carolinecrotty.ie

Depression Support

Supporting Someone Experiencing Depression

It is important to keep in mind that someone can appear to have a lovely life, wife / husband, children, friends, home etc. and experience depression. You cannot tell someone’s emotional state simply by looking. Depression can affect anyone in any walk of life. So how can we support someone experiencing depression?

Rather than avoid someone because you know they are depressed, please reach out. Be mindful not to pester, instead, let your loved one know you are offering your support. It can be nice to simply sit with the person, regardless of whether they are crying or talking, and tell them how important they are to you. Ask how you can help and listen to the answer.

Encourage outside supports such as talking to the GP, practice nurse, counsellor, psychotherapist etc and you can offer to help select one or to drive your loved one to their first appointment.

There are also social supports such as www.grow.ie www.aware.ie and online supports from www.samaritans.org www.turn2me.org

Be careful what you say so that your loved one doesn’t feel more isolated. Please do not say “cheer up” or “concentrate on the positives” or “snap out of it” because they would already have done that if they could! Passing comments like this can sound as though it is a choice to be depressed and that is insulting.

Listening rather than advising is key. Disagreeing with someone’s thoughts and feelings is unhelpful. Acknowledge your loved one’s feelings but do not try to fix their problems. Instead ask “what can we do to help you feel better?”

Perhaps it might be a kind gesture to drop round some nice food. It can feel impossible to muster up the enthusiasm to cook when experiencing depression. Sending a text can be a way to let someone know that you’re thinking about them without being intrusive or post a simple greeting card. Let them know that you and your offer to meet remains open for whenever they are ready.

It is important to keep in friendly contact with others when experiencing depression. Support exercise and social occasions by offering to accompany your loved one. Be encouraging and positive (rather than nagging or coercive).

Don’t pass judgement and suggest that someone is “too sensitive” as depression is not a personality flaw. If you see your loved one having a good day or laughing it doesn’t mean the depression is gone so be very patient.

It is important to keep in mind that we cannot change anyone except ourselves. We can encourage and support and love our friends and family members experiencing depression, however, we cannot make them better. Neither are we responsible for someone else’s recovery.

If your loved one is in danger of suicide call 911 or take them to an emergency room (A&E Department). The Samaritans has a freephone number 116123 available 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

If you are trying to help someone who is experiencing depression it can be tiring. Please take time out for yourself to exercise or prepare meals. Ensure you are sleeping well and make time to relax. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Care for yourself so that you can provide the best care for others. You cannot pour from an empty cup!