How to reduce stress and anxiety
Stress and anxiety are human experiences. They cannot be avoided, however, they can significantly impact our well-being. Fortunately, there are evidence-backed techniques to effectively cope with stress and anxiety, empowering you to take control of your emotional and mental health.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a powerful technique that involves focusing our attention on the present moment, maintaining an awareness of thoughts, feelings and environment through a compassionate and accepting lens. Originating in Buddhist meditation, secular mindfulness practice is now mainstream. Numerous studies demonstrate its effectiveness in reducing stress and anxiety. By cultivating mindfulness, we can develop an increased awareness of our thoughts and feelings, allowing us to respond to stressors more clearly and calmly. We might begin by paying attention to whatever’s around us by looking at the sky, or the colours of leaves, feeling our feet on the ground while we feel our breath – that’s being present and mindful, and we can do it where ever/whenever.
Physical Exercise
This is a game-changer. Do not stop because you are ageing – do even more for as long as your body allows! Engaging in regular physical exercise is not only beneficial for our physical health but has positive effects on our mental well-being. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood-boosting chemicals in the brain. It also reduces stress hormones and improves sleep, all of which contribute to a decrease in stress and anxiety levels. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise most weekdays.
A Healthy Lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle plays a crucial role in managing stress and anxiety. Ensure to get enough sleep. Prioritise eating a balanced diet with nutrient-rich foods. Limit the intake of caffeine and alcohol, which can contribute to anxiety symptoms. Hydrate with water. Additionally, practising good time management and setting realistic goals can reduce feelings of overwhelm and stress.
Supportive Network
Social support is essential in coping with stress and anxiety. Cultivate strong relationships with friends, family, or support groups who can provide understanding, empathy, and encouragement. Research suggests that having a reliable support network can buffer the adverse effects of stress and enhance our overall well-being. Join a group if you feel isolated Phone the Samaritans any time, day or night on 116123 (no charge from mobile or landline).
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is a well-established, evidence-based approach to managing stress and anxiety. CBT helps identify and challenge negative thought patterns and replace them with more realistic and helpful thoughts. Reframing our perceptions and beliefs can reduce anxiety and improve our ability to cope with stressors.
Courses can be found at: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself
Self-Care
Engaging in self-care activities is crucial for stress management. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as hobbies, reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature. Setting aside regular periods for self-care helps replenish our energy, promotes emotional well-being, and reduces the impact of stressors. There are some self-care tips here.
Finally, reducing stress and anxiety is possible through evidence-based strategies. We can take proactive steps towards improving our mental well-being by incorporating mindfulness, exercise, healthy lifestyle choices, social support, cognitive-behavioural techniques, and self-care activities into our daily routines. It is vital to tailor these to your individual/specific needs (cut your cloth according to your measure) and consult a mental health professional if you require additional support.
Make the most of the okay/good times so we can be better equipped for difficult times. Life is messy and complicated. Here are some ways to take positive action to help us feel better and cope well with whatever comes our way.
We have one body. Care for and cherish it. When we are fit, we feel strong, confident, and ready to face the world head-on.
Eat foods that are not processed. Enforce that rule for children in the run-up to mealtimes (e.g. veg, fruit).
Drink water first thing in the morning and hydrate throughout the day. Get up earlier than you currently do. Use that time to stretch and write a plan for the day ahead.
Love yourself right now. Do not wait for some imaginary point in the future. You are the youngest you will ever be today!
Be amused by simple things. Laugh at your mistakes. Stop taking yourself seriously.
Be mindful of wandering into unhelpful and unpleasant thoughts about either the past or the future. Recall past events to examine the lessons learned but not to give yourself a hard time. The future is imaginary. When we start a sentence with “what if…..” it’s usually an anxious thought. We rarely say, “what if it’s a raging success” or “what if I love it”. Make plans and set goals. Take control of your thoughts and tackle your worries by becoming aware and challenging any negative inner dialogue.
Give praise generously (yourself and others).
Practice the skill of living in the moment. Learn a relaxation technique such as calm breathing, yoga, meditation etc. Watch birds feed or the trees move in the breeze. Walk barefoot in the garden or beach. Create space in your day to create space in your mind.
Smile. Even if wearing a mask. It lifts your mood.
Stay connected to others. Phone people for a chat. Better still, meet someone for a walk. Offer help whenever you can. Say “no” whenever you can’t. We feel good when we are helping. Bake for neighbours or give friends flowers from your garden. Treat yourself to things you enjoy such as a bubbly bath.
Comparisons never work and they don’t change anything! Stop mind reading or guessing what others think.
Be gentle in your thoughts, behaviour, and words.
Schedule time every week to tackle your worries. Write them down, examine them. Make a plan of action. Ask yourself what advice you’d give to a close friend about a problem you face and then take your own advice! Allow people to help you. Seek counsel and support.
Complaining or gossiping do not bring about positive change.
Learn to let go of your attachment to physical things. De-clutter. Let go of the past and of unrealistic expectations.
Forgive as best you can. Accept whatever wrongdoings that happened. Leave your past in the past and learn to be forward-facing (towards your future). Despite all that has happened, you are alive. Celebrate living.
We are all human. We make mistakes. Everyone is vulnerable. We all have a breaking point and a limit. You never know what is going on in someone’s life or head. Always be kind.
You hold a unique place in this world.
You make a difference.
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When learning how to remain in the present moment it can help to give our minds a job.
Despite thinking that we are good at multi-tasking, we are at our best when we concentrate on one thing at a time – either we worry or think about something else! This task is to help us “think about something else” rather than worrying.
The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 grounding technique is a useful task. It can prevent us from getting caught-up in racing or panicky thoughts which can create anxious feelings in our bodies.
The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 task can help us remain calm, focused and grounded in the present.
Instead of getting caught up in fearful thoughts or horrible anxious feelings, this task requires us to take notice of what is around us and concentrate on our senses.
Sight, Touch, Hearing, Smell and Taste – these are the five senses that we concentrate on that will help us stay focused.
Look around you. What are 5 things that you can see. Describe them to yourself in the most graphic and amazing detail that you can manage. What colours do you see on those objects? What patterns, inscriptions, engraving, size or weight do they have? If you were to describe these five things to someone without using the objects’ names, how would you do it?
Now look for 4 things you can feel and describe them to yourself. This might involve feeling your clothes as they touch your skin or the feeling of your bottom and back as you sit on your chair. Perhaps you can feel your skin on the palm of your hand with the finger from your other hand. Can you pick up something and hold it? Describe those four things to yourself in detail.
Listen very closely. What 3 things can you hear? Is there something in the distance making noise, say a clock ticking or traffic or the wind or music or the rattle of a door?
Are there 2 things that you can smell? There may be perfume or aftershave on your clothes. Can you smell food in the air or any other scents?
Is there something you can taste? Is there already a taste in your mouth? It might be coffee or toothpaste or maybe you can see something you could taste. You might have a sweet in your bag or chewing-gum. If you taste something, pay close attention to the flavour.
The above 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique is a handy task for times when you may feel nervous such as at the airport, church, family gathering, doctor’s or dentist’s waiting room etc. The task will help to ground you and prevent you from getting caught up in fearful thoughts.
Ground yourself by concentrating on your senses. It doesn’t matter whether you think of 5 things to smell or 4 things you can hear i.e. the order in which you think about your senses is unimportant.
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Information Overload isn’t new. It has more recently changed so that now, rather than have too many books to read, we have technology demanding our attention. We too are demanding of attention or potentially vying for the attention of others on social media. We are slowly learning that too much screen time may affect our attention span. Learning To Pay Attention to ourselves is beneficial and using a breathing meditation is time spent caring for you i.e. self-care.
Self-care is not self-indulgent, it is vital. Depending on our age, we may not have been taught about self-care in school but as adults, we independently learn that in order to give our best we must care and look after our bodies and minds.
A short breathing meditation can help us relax, gain focus and manage our worries or stressful thoughts.
I am not a mindfulness teacher neither am I am meditation master. My training is in counselling and psychotherapy. However, in my experience, when we learn how to focus our minds on something other than worry or bothersome thoughts, our attention can be a remarkably useful tool.
We can’t stop thoughts or worries from popping into our minds but what do we do with them once there? We can allow any thoughts to be present, while we learn how to bring our attention to our breath.
Using a meditation exercise can help us to be present in the here and now and not back in the past or flying off into the future, not caught up in our imagination. This is not about controling our thoughts or getting rid of them.
Mindfulness involves practicing bringing our attention back to the present, to the here and now – whenever it wanders off.
As an analogy, attention is like a muscle. If we don’t regularly use the muscle, it can become weaker. However, with regular exercise we can strengthen and build it.
Meditation exercises, like learning any new skill, require practice. Here’s one that takes only three minutes initially which, in time, can be increased to ten mins twice per day. In my experience, allowing ourselves even a couple of minutes every day to mindfully breathe is beneficial and relaxing.
Sit in a chair and get yourself comfy. Pay attention to your body and ask yourself, “what do I feel right now? What are my feelings? And what are my thoughts?” Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and to all the sensations in your body. Describe these experiences to yourself. Don’t judge or alter anything. Accept. Spend up to one minute doing this.
Bring your focus of awareness to your breath. Focus on the sensations of your breath as it enters and leaves your tummy. Bring your awareness to the sensations of movement in your tummy and allow your thoughts to go, to leave you as you breathe. Breathe in as you say ‘relax’ and on each exhalation say “calm”. If your mind wanders, do not try to change the thoughts or make them leave. Acknowledge their presence, allow them to be there, then allow them to go, returning your attention and focus to your breath and breathing. Spend up to two minutes doing this.
Extend your awareness to sensing your whole body breathing. Become aware of sensations throughout your body. If your mind wanders to various thoughts or feelings, acknowledge them and let them go and return your focus to sen1sing your whole body breathing. Spend about two mins doing this.
As you become more familiar with this skill of “letting go”, wherein you choose to notice but let go of thoughts, emotions or sensations, this is the ideal time to increase the time. Acknowledge and appreciate what you are doing, allowing yourself time to settle your mind, to breathe, to pay attention to you.
Attention is like a muscle and with regular exercise, a muscle works really well! Breathing meditation is the same – the more often you allow yourself time to do it, the easier it gets as the more skilled you become!
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Our world has become busier than ever, full of busy people with busy lives and whilst technology has been an amazing advancement for humanity it also is a scourge in that we are constantly contactable and there is always some noise coming from some screen nearby! It’s hard to hear our own thoughts at times. How can we relax or know what we are thinking unless we have silence to pay attention and listen to our thoughts?
I often talk about relaxation and explain that relaxation is not lying on the sofa in front of the tv with a glass of wine – sorry! Relaxation is really helped by spending time alone, with our thoughts, in silence.
ALONE IN SILENCE beause silence is golden.
We live in a world where any time spent alone is usually filled with noise and distractions. When we go for a walk or a drive, we invariably listen to music or to the latest podcast. We sit at home and have the radio, tv or some screen at hand.
Spending time in silence is something I encourage because it can reduce tension in both brain and body in mere minutes.
Silence is healthy and can boost the body’s immune system, decrease stress, encourage brain cell growth, reduce blood pressure and improve sleep. And that’s not all!
Time in silence, alone with our thoughts allows our brains an opportunity to examine our thoughts rather than constantly distracting ourselves from them. When we are in silence, we often day dream or run through events. This allows for an opportunity to become more creative and to self-reflect.
We can easily create opportunities to be in silence and only a few minutes every day is beneficial. For example, sitting in silence in our car or going for a walk outside in nature without any device (i.e. no mobile phone or screen).
Nature is therapeutic and that, coupled with being alone, can be very healthy.
Being in the house without screens or noise might be aspirational particularly if the house is very busy. Perhaps try getting up earlier than the others so you have your few minutes of silence before the house wakes.
Driving whilst concentrating on your breath or on the surrounding scenery can be helpful.
Allowing quiet time every day can lead to feeling calmer and more in control of thoughts.
Learning how to deep breathe can help. Meditation also offers an opportunity to switch off from all the stresses and strains that we put our minds under.
Set yourself the goal of taking some minutes every day to be with your thoughts, to sit and breathe and be calm. You’ll be glad that you did.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Just because you think something, it doesn’t mean it’s true, even if it feels like it must be true!
If you jump to conclusions and often feel anxious or worried, the great news is that you can learn how to take charge of your thinking, learn to feel calmer and more in control of your thoughts.
If you told me that you would like to change someone else’s thoughts, I’d say you’re out of luck because there’s no hope of changing anyone else. However, if you want to change the way YOU think and change YOUR unhelpful thoughts or thinking patterns, then you can.
Each of us has automatic thoughts and we make assumptions all day long. Self-talk is very important because we tend to believe what we tell ourselves whether it is true or not! I often refer to what we have in our heads as a “mind bully”.
To others, we may look or appear calm but on the inside, we have a running commentary which accompanies us everywhere that can be horrible and nasty. I often ask “would you want to spend time with someone who talks to you the way you speak to yourself in your head?” I am fairly sure that for most people the answer is a resounding “no“.
Our self-talk can be cruel and make it easy for us to jump to inaccurate and often absurd conclusions. We might wake at night thinking terrible things are going to happen. Or we might be scared to quit our job because we are sure that we would fail elsewhere or we might think we would never even get another job. We might end a relationship because we are convinced our partner is too good for us and will run off with someone who’s more attractive, intelligent or interesting than us. We might eat a sweet and think we always fail at diets. The mind bully’s list of topics is endless!
Taking control of our thinking and ultimately learning how to manage our worries starts with our self-talk.
When we know what our thoughts are, then we can work towards replacing negative, illogical or unhelpful thoughts with more logical and rational thoughts.
Firstly, pay focused attention to your self-talk and to what you are thinking. What are you saying to yourself? Is your thinking realistic? Is it catastrophic? Are you logical? Are you mind-reading? Do you jump to conclusions? Do you think you can predict the future with your invisible/imaginary crystal ball?
To challenge negative or irrational thoughts, try completing each of the following questions outlined in bold on a writing pad every day. For other suggestions take a look at this worksheet clear thinking
Where was I?
What happened?
What were my thoughts?
Are my assumptions based on facts?
How was I feeling?
What did I do?
Is there an alternative viewpoint?
What is a more logical and rational thought?
Time back again, what could I do differently?
It’s worth a try! It will help you to start paying attention to your thoughts and shortly, you’ll begin to catch yourself being unfair to you and then, you’ll be able to start challenging unhelpful and unwanted thoughts. Just beccause it feels right, doesn’t mean your thinking is accurate – jumping to conclusions is usually inaccurate and unhelpful.
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