Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a structured, evidence-based psychological treatment that has been shown to help with a wide range of difficulties, including depression, anxiety, stress, low self-esteem and relationship challenges.
Originally developed in the 1960s by psychiatrist Dr Aaron T. Beck, CBT supports people in building practical skills to manage distressing thoughts, behaviours and emotions. Rather than focusing on short-term relief alone, CBT promotes long-term improvements in wellbeing. Over the years, contributions from clinicians such as Dr Judith Beck have helped refine and expand the approach globally.
At the heart of CBT is the understanding that our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and behaviours are interconnected. By identifying and changing unhelpful patterns, people can experience meaningful and lasting improvements in mental health and overall quality of life.
CBT can support a wide range of everyday difficulties, including:
Low mood or lack of motivation
You might feel flat, stuck or just not like yourself. CBT helps you notice unhelpful thinking patterns and gently shift them, while reconnecting with things that bring energy and meaning.
Overthinking and worry
If your mind feels constantly busy or you’re always anticipating the worst, CBT offers tools to calm that mental noise and reduce overwhelm.
Stress and burnout
Whether it’s work, family or life in general, CBT helps build healthier coping strategies, establish boundaries and restore a sense of control.
Confidence and self-esteem
If you’re your own worst critic, CBT can help you challenge harsh self-judgements and build a more compassionate, balanced self-view.
Relationship or communication difficulties
CBT can support you in recognising patterns, managing emotional triggers, and communicating more clearly in your personal or professional life.
General anxiety or unease
Sometimes anxiety appears without a clear cause. CBT offers tools to manage physical symptoms and develop a greater sense of calm and stability.
CBT is always tailored to an individual’s specific needs and goals. Treatment typically lasts between 6 and 26 sessions, depending on the nature and severity of the issue. Sessions are structured, collaborative and goal-focused, with regular progress reviews. A key aim is to equip you with lifelong tools to manage your thoughts, emotions and behaviours beyond therapy.
While Cognitive Behavioural Therapy forms a strong foundation of my approach, I am not a strict CBT therapist. I also integrate elements of talking therapy to offer a warm, relational space that suits each person’s unique needs and preferences.
As of January 2025, I offer both in-person and online CBT sessions. Each 50-minute appointment is €80.00
If you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed or stuck in low mood, CBT offers evidence-based support and practical tools to help you regain your balance. Taking that first step can feel daunting but it’s often the most important one toward building a more fulfilling life.
If you’d like to book an initial consultation or ask a question, please feel free to get in touch. I offer counselling and psychotherapy in Cork city and online and I’d be happy to hear from you.
Contact Caroline:Contact Caroline: hello@carolinecrotty.ie
Visit: www.carolinecrotty.ie
Google has made access to information astonishingly easy. While not all of the information is accurate or from reputable sources, it’s evident that we live in a world with knowledge at our fingertips – literally. In my experience, there’s recently been a surge of interest in attachment styles and how they shape romantic relationships. It’s tempting to trace everything back to our parents and assign blame for who we are today. However, at some point, we must take responsibility for our own growth, learning how to understand and manage our reactions.
Attachment styles are a cornerstone of psychology, offering valuable insights into how we connect and relate to others. Rooted in early childhood experiences with our caregivers, these patterns shape our adult relationships, influencing how we approach intimacy, handle conflict, and express our wants/needs/desires.
Understanding our attachment style can be a transformative step towards greater self-awareness and personal growth.
Pioneered by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, attachment theory identifies four primary attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. These styles are shaped by the responsiveness and consistency of caregiving in childhood. Click on the links to read more about the four attachment styles.
Anxious Attachment: Inconsistent caregiving can lead to this style, where adults crave closeness but fear rejection, often resulting in insecurity or over-dependence.
Avoidant Attachment: Emotionally distant caregiving may foster this style, where individuals value independence but struggle with vulnerability and trust.
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: Often linked to trauma or neglect, this style combines anxious and avoidant traits. Adults with this style may desire connection yet fear intimacy, creating a push-pull relationship dynamic.
Secure Attachment: This develops from reliable and loving caregiving. Adults with this style often trust easily, communicate openly and balance intimacy with independence.
Our attachment style significantly shapes our emotions, behaviours and dynamics within our relationships. Recognising the influence of attachment can lead to profound changes in how we relate to others and ourselves.
Cultivate Self-Awareness: Understand how our past experiences influence our current relationships.
Improve Communication: Learn to identify and express our needs clearly and explicitly.
Develop Healthier Relationships: Address limiting behaviours and build trust.
Foster Personal Growth: Break cycles of insecurity or avoidance that hold us back.
Even small insights can make a difference to us and our relationships. For instance, understanding the spotlight effect, which is the tendency to overestimate how much others notice or judge our actions, can help alleviate insecurities tied to attachment anxiety. There’s a post about the spotlight effect here.
The lovely news is that attachment styles are not fixed. We can move towards a secure attachment style with effort, intention, and the right tools. We are not cast in stone. It won’t happen overnight, but change is possible. Therapy is one of the most effective pathways for unpacking unresolved emotions and building healthier relational patterns. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and journaling, can enhance emotional regulation, helping to manage our responses in challenging situations. Building secure connections with supportive, trustworthy people can provide a model for healthier relationships. Regular self-reflection is also essential – examining our relational behaviours and beliefs allows us to identify what needs to change. However, insight alone isn’t enough; action is key. Awareness without effort is a missed opportunity for growth.
Self-awareness and consistent effort can guide you toward healthier connections. Reflect on how your early experiences influenced your relationships today. Practice open and honest communication with loved ones, challenging negative thought patterns and replacing them with balanced perspectives. Learn to set and respect boundaries, ensuring that your and others’ needs are harmonised. Seek professional guidance if unresolved trauma or recurring issues continue to affect your relationships.
Surround yourself with emotionally available and supportive individuals who model the connections you want to foster. Finally, prioritise self-care to maintain emotional stability—including activities like regular exercise, adequate sleep, or hobbies that bring you joy and peace.
Understanding your attachment style is not about labelling yourself or labelling others. It’s about recognising patterns and taking actionable steps toward forming healthier connections. With awareness and intention, you can transform how you relate to others and, more importantly, how you relate to yourself.
For those keen to explore further into attachment styles, here are some resources to explore:
Each offers tools and insights for understanding attachment and fostering personal growth.
For more on related topics, check out the blog post here.
You may reflect on your attachment style and consider how it has shaped your current and past connections and relationships. Personal growth and introspection is a lifelong journey. Every little step towards self-knowledge counts as progress in life. By embracing your awareness of self, introspection and taking intentional actions, you can create (and improve) relationships so they are healthier, more fulfilling, and grounded in trust and connection.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
I was recently discussing ‘burnout,’ and the person I was speaking with mentioned that the term seems to be used far too loosely these days. He observed that people say they’re experiencing burnout when busy at work or feeling worn out after Christmas parties. This casual use of the term caught my attention because, in my practice, I use ‘burnout’ in a clinical sense. When people come to me with burnout, they’re often signed off work by their GP and face a long and challenging road to recovery. While it’s valuable that awareness of stress is increasing, it’s crucial to recognise that true clinical burnout is far more serious than general exhaustion.
Burnout is a medical and clinical condition with serious implications for mental and physical health. Clinical burnout, as defined by the World Health Organisation (WHO), is a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterised by three core features: persistent feelings of emotional and physical exhaustion, a sense of detachment or cynicism towards one’s job and a reduced ability to perform effectively. Unlike general fatigue, clinical burnout develops over time and does not simply disappear after a good night’s sleep or a short break. It requires careful attention and often structured intervention to address.
Although the term ‘burnout’ is now used rather casually to describe being overworked or tired, these experiences don’t align with the clinical definition. While the casual use of the term reflects a growing awareness of stress, it can dilute the seriousness of burnout. This overuse may make it harder for people experiencing clinical burnout to be recognised and supported. Importantly, burnout in its clinical sense is not a sign of personal weakness or failure but rather the result of systemic issues such as chronic stress, excessive workloads, lack of support and environments that fail to prioritise employee well-being.
Clinical burnout develops when workplace stress becomes unmanageable and unrelenting. It often arises in environments with excessive demands, little autonomy, inadequate support, or a mismatch between personal values and organisational culture. These factors combine over time, eroding resilience and making recovery increasingly difficult. Unlike occasional stress, which can sometimes be motivating, burnout represents a prolonged and harmful state that affects both mental and physical health.
The symptoms of burnout are far-reaching and can impact every aspect of everyday life. Emotionally, people may feel drained, irritable or even hopeless. Cognitively, people may struggle to focus or with decision-making or memory, which can add to feelings of frustration. Physically, symptoms such as chronic fatigue, headaches and sleep disturbances often emerge. Behaviourally, people may withdraw from social connections, procrastinate, or avoid responsibilities altogether. Burnout can profoundly affect relationships and self-esteem, leading to feelings of failure and disconnection from others.
Addressing burnout requires a multifaceted approach that includes both individual and systemic changes. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore the underlying issues contributing to burnout, develop coping mechanisms, and rebuild resilience. Rest and recovery are essential because burnout cannot be resolved by simply pushing through it – people need time, space, and patience to heal. Systemic workplace adjustments are often necessary, including reducing excessive demands, establishing clear boundaries, and fostering supportive environments. Self-care practices such as mindfulness, regular exercise and reconnecting with activities that bring joy can also play a crucial role in recovery.
Burnout is not a reflection of personal failure. It’s a complex response to prolonged, unrelenting stress, often shaped by factors outside of individual control. Understanding burnout means recognising its key symptoms: emotional exhaustion, detachment, and a reduced sense of accomplishment. These aren’t signs of weakness but signals from your body and mind that your current demands exceed your resources.
Addressing burnout starts with self-awareness and support. Prioritising emotional and mental health isn’t just self-care—it’s a fundamental necessity for thriving. This might mean setting boundaries, seeking workplace accommodations, or rethinking unsustainable systems in your life. However, proper recovery also requires systemic change. Organisations and communities must create environments where wellbeing is central, not optional.
If you or someone you know is experiencing burnout, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide guidance, validation and strategies for recovery. You don’t have to face it alone – healing and recovery are possible, and your well-being is worth the effort.
For further information, here’s a handy guide to an NHS booklet about Burnout
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Have you ever left a therapy session feeling worse than when you started? If so, you’re not alone, which doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. This post explores why that might happen, what it means, and how to support yourself.
Therapy is often seen as a path to healing, growth and emotional wellbeing. But it’s not uncommon to feel worse before feeling better. Recently, a young man shared after our session that he expected to feel better but instead he actually felt worse. His experience inspired this blog – to explore why that can happen and to offer guidance for anyone feeling the same. I understand how disheartening it can be to leave a therapy session with heavy emotions still lingering and I hope to explain why it might happen.
Therapy often involves exploring issues that have been buried for years. When emotions like grief, trauma or anger are brought to the surface, that can feel overwhelming. This emotional release is part of the healing process but it’s natural to feel discomfort as you begin to work through it.
Talk therapy helps identify and gently challenge unhelpful thought patterns. Questioning beliefs that may have provided comfort or structure can feel destabilising. Letting go of familiar but limiting ways of thinking is a bit like learning a new instrument or changing your golf swing unfamiliar at first, but ultimately beneficial (or liberating).
Therapy often brings clarity about relationships, behaviours or past experiences and that can sometimes feel painful. Recognising patterns that no longer serve you or facing truths you may have avoided can feel like waking a sleeping bear. Difficult, yes but necessary for meaningful change.
Many therapeutic approaches include between-session practices such as journaling, reflection or trying new behaviours. This can take emotional energy and mental space, which might feel exhausting especially when already managing a full and busy life.
Sometimes, bringing difficult feelings into awareness may cause a short-term increase in sadness, anxiety or physical tension. These responses are part of emotional processing and often signal that important inner work is taking place – that change is happening.
Therapy doesn’t provide instant answers. Frustration or disappointment can arise when change feels slower than expected. In a fast-paced world, it’s easy to hope for a quick fix, but therapy is about depth and that takes time.
We all use defence mechanisms like denial, distraction or intellectualising to protect ourselves from emotional pain. Therapy can gently challenge these. When that happens, it may feel uncomfortable or even distressing, but working through these blockages is essential for healing and growth.
Be honest about how you’re feeling. Just like that young man mentioned how he was feeling to me – talk to your therapist who will want to understand your experience and can help you make sense of it. Sometimes people smile or laugh during sessions, even when discussing painful topics, using humour as a form of protection. But unless you say how you’re really feeling, your therapist might not know.
Growth and change take time. Feeling unsettled does not mean you’re doing something wrong. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge the effort you’re making. The work you’re doing matters.
Therapy is rarely a straight path or linear. Celebrate small steps forward and know that setbacks are part of the process. Difficult conversations might need to be revisited more than once and that’s okay.
Talk to trusted friends or confidential family members. Support outside of therapy appointments can help you to feel steadier and also remind you that you’re not going through this alone.
Take care of yourself in ways that feel nourishing and nurturing. Whether that’s going for a walk, listening to music, making a favourite meal or doing something creative – give yourself permission to slow down and regroup.
If you regularly leave counselling or psychotherapy sessions feeling worse and see no progress over time, it may be worth reflecting on whether the current therapeutic approach or therapist is the right fit. A conversation with your therapist can also help clarify this.
If you feel overwhelmed between sessions, don’t wait in silence. Reach out to a trusted GP, crisis line or mental health professional. You are not alone and help is always available.
Feeling worse after therapy doesn’t mean you’re failing – it often means something important is shifting. Therapy asks you to be brave and honest which can stir up strong feelings. By naming those feelings, leaning into support and trusting the process, you’re laying the groundwork for lasting change.
Every step counts. Even when it’s hard, you’re moving forward. Be proud of yourself and be kind to yourself.
Have you experienced mixed feelings during therapy? I’d love to hear how you felt after a session or what surprised you most. I’m very grateful to the young man who inspired this post by sharing his disappointment at feeling sad/flat/low after opening up.
If you’d like to explore therapy or learn more, please feel free to contact me.
Caroline Crotty – Psychotherapist
www.carolinecrotty.ie
hello@carolinecrotty.ie
Do you know someone who is happy? Perhaps you are that happy person. What ‘happy’ means to me may differ to how you would define it. There are possibly as many definitions of ‘happiness’ as there are people.
Various factors impact and contribute to our overall sense of happiness from involvement in our communities to celebrations, weather, finances, family etc. I don’t have enough space here to examine influences on or definitions of happiness but in my experience, everyone wants to be happy.
Ask yourself ‘Do I want to be happy? If the answer is ‘yes’ put a plan of action into place. We all know that life is not fair but being happy requires an investment of your time and effort because happy people work at being happy.
If you want to be happy follow these tips:
Accept yourself completely – just as you are AND accept your reality. This means you accept your family, house, appearance, birthplace, strengths/limitations, history etc. Acceptance is the key to happiness. (This is not easy but it is vital).
Learn something new – how to put up a shelf, knit, sew, bake a sponge cake – keep your brain active with new knowledge and skills.
Forgive yourself for mistakes you have made. Forgive others for theirs. Let go of resentments – it is difficult to be happy with a heavy heart.
Engage in activities. Start a new hobby such as yoga or Bridge. Join a club or start one e.g. a book club or dinner club with your neighbours/friends.
Spend time with people that make you feel good, ideally positive people. Avoid people who stress you out or drain your energies.
Have a sense of purpose. Happy people have something to do or somewhere to go (even if it is just to the shop for milk).
Do things you are good at, that you enjoy, that are fun or make you feel good. Do them often.
Say NO. If you don’t want to do something don’t do it. If you do, then do so without complaint.
Acknowledge that you are not responsible for other people’s reactions, you are only responsible for yours.
Find your voice and say when you are unhappy about something. (Say I feel x when y because z)
Nurture a loving relationship with YOU. Happy people give themselves breaks and let themselves off the hook. They learn how to relax and how to manage anxieties/stresses.
Set short-term achievable goals. Don’t set yourself up for failure by setting unattainable goals! Set a goal, achieve it, acknowledge the achievement then set new goals!
Invest time in others. Make time for your partner, children, friends, neighbours or strangers.
Watch your language. I don’t mean swear words I mean self-talk. Say only positive things and use only positive words particularly when talking about you.
Help others because it makes us feel happy. Help willingly. Volunteer in your community or to do something nice for a neighbour.
Your brain believes you must be happy if you are smiling, it immediately raises your mood. Smiles are contagious.
Treat your body as well as you can. Eat well, hydrate, keep moving and breathe slowly.
Be kind and gentle, forgiving and compassionate with YOU and others.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
If we are attempting to change our thinking pattern it can be helpful to analyse what we are saying to ourselves (in our minds). When we know what our thoughts are, then we can work towards replacing negative or illogical thoughts with more positive, rational ones.
Is your thinking realistic? Is it catastrophic? Are you logical? Are you mind-reading? Is your thinking magical (if x then y)?
To challenge negative thoughts or irrational thinking, try completing each of the following questions outlined in bold on a writing pad every day. I have inserted a sample answer.
If you find answering all the questions difficult at first, perhaps start on week one with just the first two questions and the following week answer the first three questions and so on. Before you know it, you’ll be automatically challenging your negative thoughts.
In my car driving home from work.
Someone pulled into the road in front of me and caused me to brake hard. I got a fright because I nearly crashed.
How can people be so thoughtless. That driver is so reckless. He didn’t think about me or the dangers. I could have rear-ended that car. My insurance premium would sky-rocket. I can’t afford another bill. He is such an idiot.
I was fuming. I was so angry I was shaking. I felt like giving him a piece of my mind. I could feel my face turn red and my heart-beat quicken.
I shouted and shook my fist at the driver. I banged my fist on the steering wheel. I drove more quickly.
I didn’t crash. The driver was probably distracted by something else and didn’t see me. This is nothing personal. I can ignore the incident because it is not going to be important in a year’s time. I can focus on the radio, music or calm breathing instead of getting angry. I am in control of my emotions and my thoughts. I am okay. Pull back and allow a greater distance in between me and the car in front because that helps keep me calm.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Ireland is one of the few countries where we both celebrate and commiserate with alcohol. On a hot day, we might head to a beer garden. When the weather is miserable where better to pass the time than in a cosy pub toasting ourselves by the fire? We overindulge throughout December with parties, nights out and Christmas celebrations. January which is usually a dry month (often because we are financially broke). Lent is an opportunity for us to prove to ourselves that we can remain sober for forty days and forty nights (with a permissible blow-out on St Patrick’s Day!) But what about February? It’s a bit of an enigma.
Alcohol is intertwined in our everyday living, so much so, that when a person doesn’t drink there must be a reason – pregnancy, antibiotics, recovering alcoholic? It may be because he/she simply chooses not to drink.
I have noticed a fairly recent shift in our drinking habits. We now drink more at home before we go out and in general having wine with a meal isn’t really drinking. However, wine is no different to other types of alcohol. To our bodies, alcohol is alcohol.
An unpopular piece of health news is that alcohol is linked with several cancers including mouth, bowel and throat. I often think I do not gain fans sharing this information because we would rather ignore the news that alcohol is a carcinogen.
After a recent talk to a community group someone mentioned that I had introduced the topic of alcohol in an unusual way. I explained that my aim is simply to encourage people to think before they have that extra alcoholic drink (and by making minor changes in our lives we can impact our children’s views of alcohol). We know that cigarettes are bad for us but the notion that alcohol is bad…well, that’s not something we really want to think about. Ignorance is bliss but it is also potentially lethal.
Cutting down the amount we drink, could potentially reduce the risk of alcohol-related cancers. Alcohol is not just connected to cancer – it causes accidents and injuries; leads us to say and do things that we cannot unsay or undo. It causes us to fight, stress, engage in risky sexual behaviours and put ourselves in danger which we would never do when not under the influence. As well as dulling our memory and helping us make dodgy decisions, alcohol is linked with heart and liver-disease, high blood pressure, poor sleep, anxiety, depression (there is a long list).
I am not writing about this because I want to scare, annoy or upset anyone. I am encouraging you to make informed decisions about your alcohol intake. You do not need alcohol to function, to engage with others, to make you interesting or to help you sleep. If you do, perhaps you might re-think your drinking.
Cutting down means you can avoid hangovers, save money, get a great night’s sleep, improve mental and physical health.
How you can cut down your alcohol intake:
Encourage friends/family to support you. Explain that you don’t want to be encouraged to drink (and that there is nothing wrong with not drinking).
Don’t bring alcohol home. If it is not in the house you will be less tempted. This doesn’t mean you have to drink all the alcohol in the house to get rid of it!
Examine your drinking routine so that you can decide on what needs to be changed. When do you drink and where?
Distract yourself. Do something different at the time you usually drink e.g. shower, walk, dance, vacuum, phone someone, read.
Change your scenery. Suggest going to the cinema or for a meal instead of going to the pub.
Set a limit to the number of drinks and stop once your limit is reached. You might consider bringing only enough money for a certain number of drinks if you’re going to the pub.
Finish each drink before ordering/pouring another to help you keep track of how much you are consuming.
Slow down. Drinking is never a race! Alternating with a glass of water helps us slow the pace.
Drink from a smaller glass.
Have a bottle instead of a can, a single instead of a double. Pour one glass of wine then put the bottle away.
Increase your alcohol-free days in the week.
Because we want to face the future with a more positive outlook or try to get a handle on what is bothering us or perhaps our flaws and failings have been pointed out to us by family members and we want to make progress or changes in our lives.
Counselling and psychotherapy are of benefit for anyone who wants support at a time of crisis, or if someone is feeling unhappy and hopes for change or for reasons of personal development or to gain insight.
Discussing a worry or an issue with a friend or family member is remarkably beneficial and I always encourage people to talk and keep talking! If we keep a worry locked within our minds, that worry can grow and continue to grow and may eventually become overwhelming. We all have worries, anxieties, fears and doubts.
Life is not fair and some people experience more than their fair share of upset and trauma. Talking is beneficial but there are several reasons why we may not want to discuss our fears or difficulties with someone we know.
Why We Do Not Talk About Our Problems
We might feel embarrassed or that our worry is silly. We may never share any personal information or talk about ourselves so disclosure may be alien to us. We might feel that we are overburdening others or talking about the same thing time after time. Perhaps we are the ‘go-to person’ the one who provides support to everyone else when they are in need of a listening ear and we do not want to appear compromised. We might not have someone with whom we can speak openly because not everyone has friends or family and indeed not everyone talks openly. There are several reasons why we keep our problems and worries to ourselves.
Confidentiality can be a deterrent to speaking openly. How many times have we all heard “I’m sworn to secrecy and I shouldn’t tell anyone but….” Or “Guess what I’ve just heard….” Or “I don’t like talking about people but…” We know that when we confide in someone we are never guaranteed they will keep the content of that conversation to themselves.
Talking Therapies Help
If you have something on your mind, talking to a professionally trained and competent counsellor/psychotherapist can help especially when you know that what you say in therapy is private and you will not be judged. If you had something physically bothering you, you would talk to the relevant expert e.g. optician, chiropodist, physiotherapist etc. I understand that making the decision to go for counselling/psychotherapy can be difficult. In fact, deciding to go for therapy often means that you have taken the first step on the road to resolving your current difficulty. Talking therapy provides you with an opportunity to speak with a trained professional, who can provide support, a fresh outlook and new perspective.
We can become slaves to our thoughts and fears. What might start as a little niggling self-doubt may grow until we are no longer comfortable in social situations and we question what others think of what we say or of how we look. We may think we are under/over-weight but in reality we look perfect the way we are. By the way, I am not a nutritionist but I do know that it is better to be overweight and fit rather than thin and unfit.
Sometimes in life we take up mind-reading as a hobby and in my experience, mind-reading is not positive because rarely do we think other people view us as attractive and intelligent and interesting etc.!
The decision to attend therapy can be tough and it may take some time to make. Bear in mind that counsellors and psychotherapists are professionally trained to listen with empathy. We help you deal with negative thoughts or feelings, to resolve difficulties or recover following trauma. You might be trying to come to terms with some news, a bereavement, a health diagnosis or you might be feeling a bit ‘stuck’ and uncertain of what is next for you in life. Perhaps you want to learn more about what makes you tick or become more confident and self-assured. Whatever the reason, it is important to know that in therapy you will not be judged.
People often say to me that their problem “is silly” or “it’s only a little thing” but if something is bothering you it is certainly not silly. In therapy, you are helped to find your own solutions and ways to come to terms with an issue.
In short EVERYTHING. Difficulties that come up in therapy include anxiety, parenting, anger, relationships, sexuality, employment, bullying, abortion, abuse, communication, adolescent experiences, self-esteem, depression, loneliness, addiction, worry, bereavement, fertility, phobias etc. however, even this list is not exhaustive. We are each unique and our lives differ – what bothers me may not worry the next person and that’s true for each of us.
What Should I Expect If I Go For Therapy?
Therapy provides a private and confidential environment for you to talk about and examine your feelings and thoughts. Therapy moves at your pace. I do not try to make people cry or ask you to lie down on a couch – these are common misconceptions about psychotherapy. People do cry in therapy because they feel comfortable enough to cry or because they are recounting emotional events. I do not force anyone to discuss anything they do not want to discuss.
In therapy, you sit on a chair in a room with me and we talk. I ask some questions and you ask questions too. Therapy is a great place to test how to say something or practice being assertive for example. A therapy hour is usually 50 minutes but I always say to allow one hour.
I provide support, respect opinions and help you understanding what is going on for you – I help you get perspective and insight and together we try to identify ways for you to reach goals and solutions. Over a number of sessions, or perhaps after only one or two, you recognise what you want to achieve.
Will A Counsellor or Psychotherapist Give Me Advice?
No. I do not offer advice such as “I’d leave that relationship if I were you” because the purpose of therapy is to help you to make your own decisions and come to your own conclusions. Therapists may offer pointers such as “have you thought of X or Y?” Such suggestions are drawn from training and from experience of what has helped others.
Does Therapy Work For Everybody?
Therapy will not work for everyone but it offers some help to the majority, therefore it is at least worth a try. Therapy provides a fresh perspective and new coping skills. You may not ‘click’ with the very first therapist you meet but when you find a therapist that you are comfortable with it is a wonderful support to have. An ally, someone that you can bounce your ideas off and where you can say what you want and be heard without judgement.
As Mark Twain wrote, “Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain”.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Sometimes our thoughts can be negative and we have trouble trying to stop or think of something positive. If we are on a cycle of negative thinking, it is not beneficial and we must somehow stop. It is difficult to be happy while thinking negatively.
When stuck on a negative thinking treadmill, ask yourself the following questions:
Is this a thought or a feeling or is it a fact?
Is this thought beneficial? Is it making me feel good?
What proof or evidence do I have that my thought is true?
What proof or evidence do I have that my thought is not true?
Am I jumping to conclusions?
Am I thinking of the worst case scenario?
What would my friend advise me to do right now?
What would I advise my friend / family member to do in the same situation?
What is the worst thing that could happen? If it does happen, what could I do to help me cope?
Will this be important in six months’ time? Will it matter in two years’ time?
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Caroline Crotty Counselling & Psychotherapy Limited - 636306 - Suite 7, Block A, South Terrace Medical Centre, Infirmary Road, Cork T12 WF40
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