Have you ever left a therapy session feeling worse than when you started? If so, you’re not alone, which doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. This post explores why that might happen, what it means, and how to support yourself.
Therapy is often seen as a path to healing, growth and emotional wellbeing. But it’s not uncommon to feel worse before feeling better. Recently, a young man shared after our session that he expected to feel better but instead he actually felt worse. His experience inspired this blog – to explore why that can happen and to offer guidance for anyone feeling the same. I understand how disheartening it can be to leave a therapy session with heavy emotions still lingering and I hope to explain why it might happen.
Therapy often involves exploring issues that have been buried for years. When emotions like grief, trauma or anger are brought to the surface, that can feel overwhelming. This emotional release is part of the healing process but it’s natural to feel discomfort as you begin to work through it.
Talk therapy helps identify and gently challenge unhelpful thought patterns. Questioning beliefs that may have provided comfort or structure can feel destabilising. Letting go of familiar but limiting ways of thinking is a bit like learning a new instrument or changing your golf swing unfamiliar at first, but ultimately beneficial (or liberating).
Therapy often brings clarity about relationships, behaviours or past experiences and that can sometimes feel painful. Recognising patterns that no longer serve you or facing truths you may have avoided can feel like waking a sleeping bear. Difficult, yes but necessary for meaningful change.
Many therapeutic approaches include between-session practices such as journaling, reflection or trying new behaviours. This can take emotional energy and mental space, which might feel exhausting especially when already managing a full and busy life.
Sometimes, bringing difficult feelings into awareness may cause a short-term increase in sadness, anxiety or physical tension. These responses are part of emotional processing and often signal that important inner work is taking place – that change is happening.
Therapy doesn’t provide instant answers. Frustration or disappointment can arise when change feels slower than expected. In a fast-paced world, it’s easy to hope for a quick fix, but therapy is about depth and that takes time.
We all use defence mechanisms like denial, distraction or intellectualising to protect ourselves from emotional pain. Therapy can gently challenge these. When that happens, it may feel uncomfortable or even distressing, but working through these blockages is essential for healing and growth.
Be honest about how you’re feeling. Just like that young man mentioned how he was feeling to me – talk to your therapist who will want to understand your experience and can help you make sense of it. Sometimes people smile or laugh during sessions, even when discussing painful topics, using humour as a form of protection. But unless you say how you’re really feeling, your therapist might not know.
Growth and change take time. Feeling unsettled does not mean you’re doing something wrong. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge the effort you’re making. The work you’re doing matters.
Therapy is rarely a straight path or linear. Celebrate small steps forward and know that setbacks are part of the process. Difficult conversations might need to be revisited more than once and that’s okay.
Talk to trusted friends or confidential family members. Support outside of therapy appointments can help you to feel steadier and also remind you that you’re not going through this alone.
Take care of yourself in ways that feel nourishing and nurturing. Whether that’s going for a walk, listening to music, making a favourite meal or doing something creative – give yourself permission to slow down and regroup.
If you regularly leave counselling or psychotherapy sessions feeling worse and see no progress over time, it may be worth reflecting on whether the current therapeutic approach or therapist is the right fit. A conversation with your therapist can also help clarify this.
If you feel overwhelmed between sessions, don’t wait in silence. Reach out to a trusted GP, crisis line or mental health professional. You are not alone and help is always available.
Feeling worse after therapy doesn’t mean you’re failing – it often means something important is shifting. Therapy asks you to be brave and honest which can stir up strong feelings. By naming those feelings, leaning into support and trusting the process, you’re laying the groundwork for lasting change.
Every step counts. Even when it’s hard, you’re moving forward. Be proud of yourself and be kind to yourself.
Have you experienced mixed feelings during therapy? I’d love to hear how you felt after a session or what surprised you most. I’m very grateful to the young man who inspired this post by sharing his disappointment at feeling sad/flat/low after opening up.
If you’d like to explore therapy or learn more, please feel free to contact me.
Caroline Crotty – Psychotherapist
www.carolinecrotty.ie
hello@carolinecrotty.ie
Caroline Crotty Counselling & Psychotherapy Limited - 636306 - Suite 7, Block A, South Terrace Medical Centre, Infirmary Road, Cork T12 WF40
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