Have you ever left a therapy session feeling worse than when you started? If yes, you’re not alone, but it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. This blog explores why this might happen and how you can navigate these challenges.
Therapy is often seen as a path to healing, growth and emotional well-being. Surprisingly, it’s not uncommon to feel worse before feeling better. Recently, a young man shared after a session that he expected to feel better but instead felt worse. His experience inspired this blog to explore why this can happen and offer guidance to those feeling similarly. I understand how disheartening it can feel to leave a session with heavy emotions lingering and hope to explain why that might happen.
Therapy often involves addressing issues that have been buried for years. When unresolved trauma, grief, or anger surfaces, it can feel overwhelming. This emotional release is part of the healing process, but it’s natural to feel discomfort as you work through it.
Therapy challenges unhelpful thought patterns and encourages self-reflection. Questioning deeply ingrained beliefs can feel destabilising, especially if they’ve provided comfort or familiarity. Letting go of familiar but unhelpful ways of thinking can feel like learning a new skill—like playing a new instrument—without abandoning everything you’ve ever known.
Therapy often brings clarity about relationships, behaviours, or past experiences, which can be painful. Recognizing patterns that no longer serve you or confronting uncomfortable truths can feel like poking an internal sleeping bear.
Many therapeutic approaches involve “homework” like journaling, practicing new behaviours, or reflecting on past experiences. This requires emotional energy and headspace, which can feel exhausting, especially if you’re managing a busy life.
Sometimes, bringing distressing emotions to the forefront can lead to long-term improvement but may initially result in heightened sadness, anxiety, or other symptoms.
Therapy isn’t a quick fix. Frustration or disappointment can arise when progress feels slower than expected. In today’s fast-paced world, many expect therapy to be resolved in one or two sessions, but meaningful breakthroughs often take time.
Defense mechanisms like denial, repression, or intellectualisation can protect us from painful emotions but also hinder progress in therapy. When these are challenged, it can feel destabilising or distressing. However, working through these blockages is essential for healing and growth.
Share your feelings openly with your therapist. They can help you understand why you’re feeling this way and adjust their approach if needed. Many people smile or laugh during sessions even when discussing painful topics, using humour as a defence mechanism. Therapists may explore this, but unless you explicitly share your feelings, they might not fully understand how you are feeling.
Growth and change take time, and discomfort is often a natural part of the process. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate therapy and celebrate your efforts.
Therapy progress isn’t linear. Celebrate small wins and understand that setbacks are normal. It’s okay to revisit difficult topics when you’re ready.
Talk to trusted friends or family members. A supportive network provides additional stability and helps you process challenges outside of therapy.
Prioritise activities that relax and recharge you, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies you enjoy. Feeding your senses and nurturing yourself is essential.
If you consistently feel worse or see no improvement, it’s worth exploring whether your current therapist or therapeutic approach is the right fit for your needs. Have a conversation with your therapist to assess this.
If distress after therapy becomes overwhelming, reach out for immediate support. Contact a mental health crisis line, a trusted medical professional, or emergency services if necessary. No one should have to suffer in silence.
Feeling worse after therapy doesn’t mean you’re failing. Often, it signals meaningful work happening beneath the surface. By addressing challenges, leaning on your therapist, and building a support network, you’re laying the foundation for lasting change. Celebrate the small wins—every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. Be patient and kind to yourself.
Have you experienced mixed feelings during therapy? Share your thoughts or questions – I’d love to hear from you and how you might have felt following a therapy session. I am very grateful to my client who told me how he was disappointed not to feel better discussing heavy content.
If you’d like to explore therapy or learn more, feel free to contact me at Caroline Crotty
Caroline Crotty Counselling & Psychotherapy Limited - 636306 - Suite 7, Block A, South Terrace Medical Centre, Infirmary Road, Cork T12 WF40
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