Have you ever left a therapy session feeling worse than when it started? If so, you’re not alone and it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. In fact, this experience is more common than you might think. Therapy is about healing, insight and growth and it often stirs up difficult feelings and emotions along the way.
A young man recently shared with me that after our session, although he expected to feel better, instead, he felt worse. I was grateful for his honesty and his experience inspired this blog post. If you’ve ever felt the same, I hope what follows helps you understand why this happens and how to support yourself.
Therapy often involves revisiting difficult past experiences – memories, relationships, or patterns we’ve learned to suppress. Bringing those emotions and feelings to the surface can be unsettling. You may leave a session feeling vulnerable, tearful or emotionally raw.
That discomfort isn’t a sign of failure – it’s a natural part of the healing process known as emotional processing. It means that work is happening.
Therapy can bring clarity about your relationships, coping patterns, or how your past is impacting your present. That insight is valuable, but it can be painful. Realising that something you hoped was fine is actually contributing to your distress can be hard but it’s often the first step towards meaningful change.
Therapy can help you see things more clearly – about your relationships, coping patterns or how past experiences shaped your present. While this insight is valuable, it can also be painful. It’s not easy to realise that something you hoped was fine is actually contributing to your distress. That clarity, though difficult, is often the first step towards change.
Therapy doesn’t stop when the appointment/session ends. In fact, I think the real work starts then! You may be encouraged to reflect, to write in your therapy journal, or to test-drive a new behaviour. That requires emotional energy and that’s challenging especially when you’re already juggling daily responsibilities. Feeling tired or emotionally stretched between sessions is understandable.
It’s not unusual for anxiety, sadness or tension to intensify at the start of therapy. That doesn’t mean it’s not working and it often means you’re becoming more emotionally aware, which is essential for healing.
We live in a world that favours quick fixes, but therapy isn’t instant. Meaningful change rarely happens in one session. It’s okay to feel frustrated but showing up is progress. Growth is usually slow and steady.
We all use coping strategies like minimising, avoiding, or intellectualising to protect ourselves from pain. In therapy, those defences can begin to soften. That might feel unfamiliar or even frightening. But loosening those patterns makes space for new ways of being.
If you’re feeling worse after a session, let your therapist know. It helps them understand your experience and tailor the work to your needs. Sometimes clients appear upbeat during sessions but feel flat afterwards – naming that is important. Therapists are not mind-readers!
Feeling unsettled doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Growth takes time. Be gentle with yourself. The work you’re doing matters.
Therapy isn’t a straight line. Some sessions will feel productive, others might not. And some topics may be revisited more than once and that’s okay.
If you have a trusted friend, family member or support group, talk to them. Feeling heard outside of therapy can help you feel more grounded and less alone.
Prioritise sleep, nutrition, hydration and movement. These simple, everyday actions can help regulate your nervous system and build resilience.
If you consistently feel worse with no progress over time, it might be worth reviewing whether the therapist or approach is the right fit. A good therapist will welcome that conversation.
If you feel overwhelmed or unsafe between sessions, reach out to your GP, a crisis line or a mental health professional. You don’t have to cope alone.
Feeling worse after therapy doesn’t mean something’s gone wrong – it often means something important is shifting. Therapy calls for honesty and emotional bravery. That can bring big feelings to the surface but by naming them and supporting yourself, you’re doing the work of real healing.
Every step counts. Even when it’s hard, you’re moving forward.
Be proud of yourself. And please be kind to yourself.
Caroline Crotty – Psychotherapist
www.carolinecrotty.ie
hello@carolinecrotty.ie
Caroline Crotty Counselling & Psychotherapy Limited - 636306 - Suite 7, Block A, South Terrace Medical Centre, Infirmary Road, Cork T12 WF40
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