Comparisons Never Work

The Comparison Trap: Why Comparisons Never Work and How to Break Free

It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. Whether scrolling through social media or watching people around us, comparisons can easily and quickly pop into our minds and leave us feeling inadequate and unhappy.

Comparing ourselves to anyone doesn’t work. It’s unfair and inaccurate because others don’t live our lives and have our experiences, thoughts, gifts or challenges. Others aren’t us – I am not you.

STOP comparing yourself to anyone. The ‘Comparison Trap’ undermines self-esteem, fuels anxiety, and distracts us from our lives and goals. When we compare ourselves to others, we highlight our perceived shortcomings and focus only on what we think we lack, diminishing our self-worth and preventing us from appreciating our unique strengths and talents.

The pressure to measure up to others’ achievements or lifestyles creates dissatisfaction and stress. That anxiety can become overwhelming, especially when comparing yourself to unrealistic standards like people in airbrushed photos on social media with perfectly shiny lives!

Comparisons can push us to pursue goals that don’t align with our true desires or values. Instead of following our life path, we might strive to meet external expectations, leading to deep dissatisfaction. Fortunately, there are ways to break free from the habit of comparison.

What Helps?

Recognise Your Triggers: Pay attention to when and why you compare yourself to others. Is it certain situations, environments, or people that trigger comparisons? Understanding what drives you can help you manage these triggers. 

Curate Social Media: Social media often presents an idealised version of life. Consider curating your feed to follow accounts that inspire positivity and set boundaries to protect your mental health.

Focus on Achievements: Regularly remind yourself of your accomplishments and unique qualities. Keeping a gratitude journal or celebrating small wins can help shift your focus from what you lack to what you have.

Set Personal Goals: Set goals that align with your values and track your progress, focusing on your ambitions rather than others’ milestones.

Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Everyone’s life is different, and it’s okay to have setbacks. Life is messy. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend, and challenge negative thoughts whenever they arise.

Find Inspiration in Others: Instead of comparing yourself to others, view them as sources of inspiration. Celebrate your life and the lessons you’ve learned.

Build a Supportive Network: Surround yourself with people who encourage and uplift you. Limit exposure to negative influences that trigger comparisons, and engage with people who appreciate you for who you are.

Engage in Enjoyable Activities: Spend time doing things you love. This can boost your self-esteem and reduce the urge to compare.

Seek Professional Help: Consider speaking with a therapist to develop healthier thought patterns and learn how to be more gentle, compassionate and kinder to yourself.

Comparing yourself to others is a natural tendency, but by practising self-awareness, setting personal goals, and embracing your uniqueness, you can break free from the Comparison Trap and focus on what really matters – you.

www.carolinecrotty.ie

Procrastination Tips

Understanding Procrastination

Procrastination is common, and from personal experience, it is very frustrating! It can be defined as postponing or delaying a task or activity. Procrastination can lead to missed deadlines, increased stress, and a sense of guilt or failure. However, with the right strategies and mindset, procrastination can be conquered.

Why Do We Procrastinate?

When people don’t feel motivated to undertake a task, they may put it off until later or just avoid it altogether. Fear of failure is a common reason why people procrastinate, putting off a task because they fear they won’t be able to complete it satisfactorily. When a task feels too big or complex, people can feel overwhelmed and postpone it until they feel better prepared or have more time (which may not necessarily come within the anticipated timeline for completion).

Perfectionism can be another cause of procrastination when a task is delayed until it can be completed perfectly. If someone feels they don’t have enough time to achieve a level of perfection, then procrastination may loom. Lack of time-management skills such as being unable to prioritise tasks, or break down large tasks into smaller ones can lead to procrastination. Being easily distracted is a source of my procrastination. There are so very many distractions such as mobile phone notifications or emails, or social media updates or looking at the clouds move across the sky!

What Helps with Procrastination?

One of the most effective strategies is breaking tasks into smaller, manageable pieces/steps. This can help seemingly huge tasks seem less overwhelming and ultimately more achievable. Setting specific goals and deadlines provides motivation for task completion. Creating a to-do list can help prioritise tasks and ensure there is sufficient time scheduled for completion. Using time-management techniques helps reduce procrastination.

However, and this is true in my case, procrastination is a coping mechanism when faced with the enormity of an anxiety-causing task with an unclear outcome when cleaning and tidying become more attractive! That then leads to thoughts about the procrastination which exacerbates stress about procrastination in the first place so it can become circular.

Eliminating distractions such as turning off social media or email notifications can be helpful (I know this first hand). Working in a quiet workspace with mobiles in a different room reduces distraction and can help increase focus. Holding yourself accountable to a partner or to a work colleague can provide sufficient motivation for completing tasks. Practicing self-compassion is important for reducing procrastination. Instead of beating yourself up about procrastinating, focus on taking small steps towards completing the task. Telling myself to stop procrastinating rarely works instead DO ONE THING. Literally do something! I set the timer for ten minutes and do one thing. That’s it then I’ve made a start and I’m out of the traps. I also try to imagine just how amazing finishing will feel which can be hard to visualise but it is helpful!

Making a specific plan for when, where, and how a task will be completed is useful. That helps you imagine exactly what needs to be done next, providing a clear plan of action. Rewarding yourself can be a helpful strategy – have a series of rewards when tasks are completed can provide motivation and reduce procrastination.

Reframing  involves changing negative or self-defeating thoughts about a task or situation into more positive, motivating thoughts. Maybe thinking of a time when you did something similar or reminding yourself of how you know you can do this might be helpful.  We thrive with praise – so self-praise is important. Recognise what you are doing and getting done rather than what is not yet complete. Goal-setting can reduce procrastination. Setting specific, achievable goals can provide motivation and structure for task-completion. Try time management techniques or the Pomodoro Technique:

  1. Set a timer for 25 minutes. Focus on one task until the timer sounds.

  2. That’s one Pomodoro completed.

  3. Take a five-minute break.

  4. After four completed Pomodoros, take a 15-30 minute break.

Self-compassion and relaxation techniques can als0 help reduce anxiety and increase focus, which in turn can reduce procrastination.

In conclusion, procrastination is common and interferes with productivity, success, and overall well-being because it’s frustrating to feel stuck. So set a timer for ten minutes and do something! A done something is better than a perfect nothing.

www.carolinecrotty.ie

Caroline Crotty
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