In today’s fast-paced world, many people find themselves sacrificing sleep in favour of late-night scrolling, binge-watching or mindless online activity. This behaviour has a name: Revenge Bedtime Procrastination. As a psychotherapist, I often hear people describe staying up late or late than they’d intended despite knowing they will feel exhausted the next day. Why do we do this, and what’s really behind it?
‘Revenge bedtime procrastination’ refers to delaying going to bed to reclaim personal time, especially after a day filled with work, responsibilities or emotional demands. It’s a subconscious form of protest – a way of taking control of one’s time when the day hasn’t allowed enough rest, relaxation, autonomy or just time!
The term is believed to have originated in China, where it was coined as “bàofùxìng de áoyè”, meaning “retaliatory staying up late”. It reflects the experience of people who feel they have no free time during the day and seek compensation late at night, even at the cost of their wellbeing.
You might be experiencing revenge bedtime procrastination if you:
Unlike insomnia or sleep disorders, this pattern is not caused by difficulty sleeping but by the conscious decision to postpone sleep in favour of leisure, often out of frustration, resentment or habit.
As a psychotherapist, I see this often in people who are:
In many cases, individuals know that sleep is essential, but the emotional pull of having “just a little time for me” wins out. This is particularly true for those with high-pressure jobs or parenting responsibilities – people who give all day and receive very little personal space in return.
Chronic sleep deprivation is strongly linked with mental health issues including:
Over time, the habit of sacrificing sleep can create a cycle of emotional exhaustion, reduced resilience and worsening sleep hygiene. This, in turn, affects mood, performance and relationships.
Revenge bedtime procrastination isn’t about laziness – it’s a signal signals that your emotional needs may not be met during the day. Here are some gentle ways to regain balance:
1. Reclaim time earlier in the day
Try to carve out 15 to 30 minutes of guilt-free personal time during the day. It could be a walk, reading a book or simply sitting with a cup of tea. Small intentional pauses can reduce the urge to reclaim time late at night.
2. Set a gentle wind-down routine
Establish a bedtime that allows for at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep and create a calming ritual before bed. Avoid screens where possible and replace them with activities that signal rest (like reading or journalling).
3. Acknowledge the emotional need
Rather than criticising yourself for staying up late, explore what emotional need you are trying to meet. Is it freedom? Quiet? Autonomy? Begin to meet those needs earlier in the day where you can.
4. Seek support
If the cycle feels hard to break, working with a psychotherapist can help you understand the emotional drivers behind your habits and support you in making sustainable changes.
Revenge bedtime procrastination is more than poor time management – it’s often a quiet protest against a life that feels too demanding or unbalanced. By listening to what your late-night habits are telling you and making room for your needs earlier in the day, you can restore your energy, sleep and emotional wellbeing.
If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone and support is available.
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