A client this week mentioned that they’re doing “Dry February” not just for physical health but to help manage anxiety levels. This is an important point – reducing alcohol consumption isn’t just about feeling healthier, it’s about improving mental well-being, emotional stability and cognitive clarity.
Alcohol is a depressant that impacts brain chemistry. While a drink may feel like it relieves stress in the moment, over time, it can make anxiety and sadness worse. Research shows that alcohol disrupts the balance of neurotransmitters like GABA and serotonin, both essential for mood regulation. This can lead to increased anxiety, disrupted sleep and lower mood and confidence (the opposite of why people often turn to alcohol!)
Increased anxiety, sometimes referred to as “rebound anxiety,” occurs when alcohol initially numbs stress but then wears off, causing the brain to overcompensate and heighten anxiety the following day. Sleep is also affected, as alcohol reduces REM sleep, which is essential for emotional processing and cognitive function. Over time, alcohol can deplete serotonin levels, leading to low mood, irritability and decreased self-confidence.
Many people notice a positive shift in their mental state when they stop drinking alcohol, even for a short time. Without alcohol, the nervous system stabilises, reducing panic-like symptoms and emotional fluctuations. Alcohol-free periods are linked to higher serotonin levels, promoting emotional stability. Thinking becomes clearer, as alcohol impairs memory and focus and taking a break can enhance problem-solving and productivity.
Social confidence can also improve. While alcohol is often used to ease social anxiety, it can reduce self-confidence in the long term and increase self-criticism. Avoiding alcohol allows people to develop genuine confidence and social ease without relying on substances.
It’s never too late to make positive, healthy changes. Quitting alcohol, even temporarily, can reduce anxiety, improve mood and enhance overall cognitive function. For those struggling with stress, taking a break from drinking isn’t just a health choice, it’s a mental wellness strategy. Trying a month without alcohol may provide unexpected benefits, from better emotional balance to clearer thinking and improved confidence.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
In psychology and philosophy, “razors” are principles or mental shortcuts designed to simplify our decisions and explanations. While they originated in philosophy, many razors are relevant to human behaviour, helping us think critically, navigate uncertainty and improve relationships.
Razors are practical tools that clarify and guide our decisions and interactions. They offer clear rules of thumb to cut through overthinking, focus on what matters and simplify the complexities of life.
Here’s how some key razors influence how we live:
Occam’s Razor is the principle that the simplest explanation is usually the best. It’s a wonderful tool for understanding behaviour. For instance, if someone seems anxious, the simplest explanation might be that they’re dealing with a stressful life event rather than assuming a more complex explanation. When my car won’t start, Occam’s Razor suggests it’s likely the battery, not engine failure. This razor reminds us to seek simple, likely answers (rather than overcomplicating things).
The Golden Razor encourages us to live by the principle of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. It’s an ideal rule for relationships or therapy because it highlights the importance of empathy and fairness. Whether navigating a conflict or supporting someone struggling, treating others with kindness nurtures harmony and improves mental health.
Hanlon’s Razor is a favourite of mine! It advises never to attribute to malice that which can be explained by ignorance or incompetence. This razor has been a lifesaver for me in interpreting behaviour. For example, if someone forgets your birthday, it’s more likely they’re busy/distracted than intentionally uncaring. Hanlon’s Razor can transform how we view others by reducing hostility and fostering understanding.
Hitchens’s Razor sharpens critical thinking with its principle: “What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.” I love how this razor encourages scepticism and rationality. For example, if someone claims they’re the Queen of Sheba without evidence, the claim holds no weight. Using Hitchens’s Razor helps us challenge unsupported beliefs and rethink assumptions.
Grice’s Razor is a great communication tool. It advises us to take others at their word without overthinking their motives or feelings. If someone says, “I’ll be late,” Grice’s Razor reminds us not to overthink the why/reasons, like assuming avoidance/anger – and accept they’re just running late. It’s a wonderful way to reduce tension and foster clearer understanding.
Parkinson’s Law of Triviality highlights our tendency to focus on minor details to avoid bigger, more challenging tasks. When I find myself cleaning instead of working on a college assignment, it shows I’m procrastinating! Recognising this behaviour can help us redirect energy towards what really matters.
Hume’s Guillotine reminds us that just because something exists doesn’t mean it should. Stress, for example, is a natural response, but it doesn’t mean we should live with chronic stress – that calls for intervention. Similarly, interruptions at work don’t need to be passively accepted – many can be addressed and improved.
Razors, whether philosophical or psychological, aren’t just abstract concepts. They’re tools for simplifying decisions and fostering better relationships. For me, they’re invaluable in finding balance.and I hope you find them helpful too!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Whenever I hear the word “lesson,” it might bring to mind school homework but here, it takes on a different meaning. The lessons in this collection are about learning from the following suggestions and gaining new insights that can shape your perspective and behaviour.
This set of 50 lessons is designed to inspire growth, cultivate balance and help you thrive across all areas of life – personal development, health, relationships and financial wellbeing. Each reminder gently nudges you towards living with purpose and intention, offering practical steps to embrace change, nurture self-care and build meaningful connections. Let these lessons guide you to a healthier, happier and more fulfilling life ahead.
These reminders can guide you towards a healthier, happier and more purposeful year ahead. Which resonates most with you? Which will you put into practice today?
Wishing you joy, love, please, health and great contentment this year.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Throughout my years of working with people from all walks of life, one truth has become abundantly clear: we are often our own harshest critics. Time and again, I meet people weighed down by self-doubt, lost in comparisons, and questioning their sense of worth. But here’s a fact I wish you would hold on to today: you are enough, exactly as you are.
We live in a world that often equates worth with achievement, appearance, or success. This can lead to the exhausting pursuit of perfection – an unattainable goal. Whether striving to be the best at work, the fittest in your gym, or the most engaging person at a party, perfectionism keeps us in a constant state of “not good enough.”
The reality is that perfection isn’t what connects us as humans. Vulnerability, authenticity and kindness are far more powerful. Allowing yourself to be imperfect not only lifts the weight of unrealistic expectations but also invites deeper connections with others who see and accept you for who you really are.
It’s natural to make mistakes. We all do. Yet, many of us cling to our failures as evidence that we’re not worthy or capable. We say all sorts of terrible things to ourselves when we get something wrong. Some mistakes have more significant consequences; however, we need to be able to accept that we are human. But what if mistakes were viewed very differently? Instead of considering them massive failures, we could reframe them as opportunities for learning. Each stumble is a step forward, a chance to grow and a reminder that you’re trying – that’s something to be proud of. Even if you don’t like the outcome – you were willing to take a chance.
One of the biggest culprits of self-doubt is comparison. Social media makes it easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to others’ fake highlight reels. But you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes real life to someone else’s polished production. What you don’t see are their struggles, doubts and fears – people on social media well, they’re human, just like you.
Instead of measuring yourself against online personalities, turn your focus inwards. Celebrate your progress, however small, and honour your journey. It’s unique and worthy of praise. I even go so far as to say it’s worthy of feeling pride!
At the end of the day (said like Roy Keane), it’s not the number of promotions, likes, acknowledgements or accolades you receive on social media that define your sense of worth. What matters are the moments of kindness you’ve shown towards others, the resilience you’ve demonstrated in getting through the hardships in your life, and the relationships you’ve nurtured. Your worth is not tied to what you do; you are not your job; your self-worth is inherent in who you are.
If you take one thing away from this blog post – treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer a dear friend. When self-critical thoughts creep in, ask yourself, “Would I say this to someone I care about?” The answer is definitely ‘no’. You’d be so kind and supportive to someone else, so please offer yourself the same grace and support.
Here’s an exercise that I’d recommend you do every night! Write down one thing you really liked or appreciated about yourself that day. It could be as simple as “I handled a stressful situation well”, “I smiled at a stranger and made their day better”, or “I held a door open for someone, and I know they felt seen”. Over time, you’ll notice and appreciate your strengths and kindness towards others.
Remember, you are not defined by your productivity, appearance, or accolades. You are enough because of your humanity, effort and unique place in this world. The world would not be the same if you were never born or not here right now. If today feels hard, know that it’s okay to pause, breathe and just be. Tomorrow is a new day. You don’t have to be perfect; you have to be yourself.
If self-doubt feels overwhelming, consider reaching out to a therapist or counsellor or a peer support group or maybe now is the time to attend an AA or NA meeting – I suspect it might not do any harm to see what one is like! Sometimes, having someone to guide you through the noise of self-criticism can make a huge difference. You are worthy of support, joy and peace of mind. You’re also deserving of the love that you give others.
Take care of yourself!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Have you ever spilt coffee on your top in a meeting or stumbled over a word during a presentation and felt like all eyes were on you? Or maybe you wore mismatched socks to a party and were certain everyone noticed. This phenomenon, where we believe our actions or appearance are under intense scrutiny, is referred to as the “spotlight effect”. We tend to overestimate how much other people notice and remember our actions. The reality is that most people are far too preoccupied with their own lives to scrutinise ours!
Understanding the spotlight effect can help free us from its grip and also help us navigate social situations with greater confidence and self-compassion.
The term “spotlight effect” was coined in social psychology and refers to our inflated perception of how much others notice and remember our actions or appearance. This cognitive bias arises because we are so immersed in our own experiences that it becomes challenging to step outside of ourselves and consider the limited perspective of others. In essence, we are the main characters in our own stories, and we assume others are equally focused on us.
Research backs this up. In a well-known study*, participants were asked to wear embarrassing t-shirts to a social gathering. When later asked to estimate how many people noticed the shirts, participants consistently overestimated the number. The reality was that most people either didn’t notice or quickly forgot. This demonstrates a key truth: most people are too preoccupied with their own concerns to dwell on others’ mistakes or quirks.
Evolutionarily, being attuned to others’ opinions had survival benefits. In early human societies, social cohesion was critical, and being aware of others’ judgments helped maintain harmony. However, in modern times, this tendency can become exaggerated, leading to unnecessary anxiety and self-consciousness.
Certain factors can intensify the spotlight effect. Social anxiety, for instance, can heighten the sense that you’re being judged. Perfectionism also plays a role, as individuals who set excessively high standards for themselves are more likely to fear others’ negative evaluations. Additionally, the rise of social media has amplified the spotlight effect by creating platforms where we feel constantly visible.
The Psychological Cost of Living Under the Spotlight
Living under the illusion of the spotlight effect can take a toll on mental health. It contributes to feelings of self-consciousness, insecurity, and even shame. Many clients describe avoiding certain situations because they fear judgment or ridicule. For example, someone might decline public speaking opportunities because they believe any minor slip-up will be remembered and judged harshly.
Over time, this avoidance can erode self-confidence and limit personal growth. It’s important to recognise that while the spotlight effect may feel real, it is often just a mental construct that can be dismantled with the right strategies.
Fortunately, the spotlight effect is a mental construct, and there are practical ways to dismantle it. Here are some strategies to help you break free from its grip.
Reframe Your Perspective: Remind yourself that most people focus on themselves. For example, when you feel self-conscious, ask yourself, “How often do I notice or remember minor mistakes others make?” The answer is prob, “Not often,” and the same applies to you.
Practice Self-Compassion: Instead of harshly criticising yourself for perceived mistakes, treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer a friend. Acknowledge that imperfection is a natural part of being human.
Shift the Focus: Redirect your attention outward. Engage with others and ask questions. Focus on what’s going on around you rather than your internal narrative. This can help break the cycle of self-conscious thoughts.
Embrace Exposure: Gradual exposure to situations that trigger the spotlight effect can help you build resilience. For instance, if you’re anxious about public speaking, start with smaller, low-stakes audiences and work your way up. You migth start by speaking during a small group gathering at work or with friends. Practice giving a toast at a family event; volunteer to present in some informal setting, such as a book club.
Limit Social Media Consumption: Social media can magnify the spotlight effect by presenting idealised versions of others’ lives. Taking regular breaks from social media or adjusting your algorithm to prioritise positive, authentic and realistic content can significantly reduce its impact on your mental well-being.
Moving Beyond the Spotlight: Understanding the spotlight effect is a powerful way to start freeing yourself from its grasp. It’s a reminder that we are all navigating our own challenges and that others’ attention is not focused on us as often as we imagine. By shifting your mindset and practicing self-compassion, you can reduce feelings of self-consciousness.
Many people learn how to free themselves from the pressure of an imaginary spotlight. They embrace challenges, deepen relationships and can live authentically. You can, too.
If this resonates with you, perhaps you might apply one of the strategies today. If the spotlight effect is limiting your potential then consider talking to a mental health professional. The world isn’t watching as closely as you think. You deserve to live fully, freely and authentically.
*Gilovich, T., Medvec, V. H., & Savitsky, K. (2000). The spotlight effect in social judgment: An egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one’s own actions and appearance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 211–222. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.78.2.211
www.carolinecrotty.ie
As the new year begins, many of us feel pressured to create a long list of resolutions – big, bold promises about improving ourselves in 2025. But let’s be honest: how often do we stick to our New Year’s resolutions? Instead of setting yourself up with rigid goals, why not try a gentler and more meaningful approach this year? Set intentions.
Intentions are different from New Year’s resolutions. Instead of focusing on specific outcomes (“lose 5 kgs in three months” or “save money”), intentions focus on how we want to live and how we want to feel. They’re less about achieving (or failing) and more about aligning with our values.
Unlike resolutions, which can leave us feeling like a failure when we don’t hit our target, intentions are adaptable. They grow with us as the year unfolds, helping us stay connected to what matters most.
Identify Your Values
What’s most important to you? Connection, personal growth, balance, adventure? Whether it’s health, happiness, relationships or creativity, your intentions should reflect your core values.
Focus on Feelings, Not Results
Instead of saying, “I’ll exercise five days a week,” try, “I’ll care for my body and enjoy moving it.” This keeps the focus on how you want to feel rather than setting a rigid expectation.
Keep It Positive
Frame intentions as things you’re inviting into your life, like “I’ll welcome more peace into my days,” instead of focusing on what you want to avoid.
Write Down Intentions
Keep your intentions visible to stay connected to them. Put them on your fridge, make them your phone wallpaper, or stick a note on your mirror.
“I’ll make time for the people who matter most”
“I’ll find moments of calm in my everyday life”
“I’ll enjoy movement and celebrate my body’s strength.”
“I’ll take small, steady steps towards a healthier, happier me.”
“I’ll pay attention and celebrate the little wins”
The beauty of setting intentions is that there’s no pressure to “get it right.” Intentions are a gentle reminder of what’s important and how you want to approach your life—they’re not a strict rulebook. They help you stay grounded in your values and guide you in making choices that feel authentic and fulfilling.
So, as you welcome 2025, give yourself permission to step away from strict resolutions. Instead, set intentions that inspire and guide you. Let this year be one of mindfulness, growth, and joy.
Step into 2025 with a fresh approach- ditch rigid New Year’s resolutions and embrace mindful intentions. Discover how setting intentions can help you live in alignment with your values, focus on what really matters most to you and make this year one of growth, joy and authenticity.
Here’s to a meaningful 2025!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Implementation intentions are a psychological strategy designed to bridge the gap between goals and actions. By creating clear “if-then” plans, you can link specific situations or cues (“if”) to predetermined actions (“then”), making it easier to take consistent steps toward your objectives.
Why “If-Then” Plans Work
The human brain can easily get overwhelmed when translating vague goals into concrete actions, especially when faced with distractions or decision fatigue. “If-then” plans work by:
Pre-Deciding Actions:
Eliminate the need to decide in the moment by linking a situation (the “if”) to an automatic response (the “then”). This reduces the mental effort required to act because the decision has already been made.
Triggering Immediate Action:
The “if” serves as a cue to trigger the “then” action. This makes it easier to recognise the right moment to act and increases the likelihood of follow-through.
Creating Specificity:
Clear plans reduce ambiguity. Instead of thinking, “Maybe I should be working on my report,” you now have a specific plan: “If I open my laptop, then I will write the first paragraph of the report.”
Identify the Cue (“If”)
A specific time, activity, or event that naturally fits into your routine works best e.g. “If I sit at my desk, then I will open my notebook to plan my day.”
Define the Action (“Then”)
Choose a simple, concrete action that directly relates to your goal. Avoid vague intentions like “be productive” or “get fit”. Instead, specify something measurable or clear:
“If I open my laptop, then I will write one sentence of my report.”
“If I walk into the kitchen, then I will fill my water bottle.”
“If I check my phone, then I will spend five minutes replying to important messages.”
Keep It Realistic
Start small and manageable.
The simpler the action, the more likely you are to follow through.
Examples of “If-Then” Plans
Productivity: “If I sit down at my desk after breakfast, then I will spend 10 minutes organising my priorities for the day.”
Exercise: “If I put on my trainers, then I will stretch for five minutes.”
Healthy Eating: “If I feel the urge to snack, then I will drink a glass of water first.”
Self-Care: “If I finish my work at 5 p.m., then I will spend 20 minutes reading a book.”
These examples show how simple yet specific actions can form the building blocks of positive yet impactful habits.
Why “If-Then” Plans Are Effective
Reduces Decision Paralysis:
By pre-planning your response, you avoid overthinking or debating what to do in the moment. For example, instead of deciding “Should I work on my report now?” your plan already specifies that opening your laptop means starting the report.
Build Habits Through Repetition:
Pairing specific situations with actions repeatedly helps reinforce the behaviour, eventually turning it into a habit
Increases Accountability:
Clear plans make it easier to monitor whether you’ve followed through. If the “if” occurs but you don’t perform the “then,” it’s noticeable, prompting you to adjust or try again.
If It Feels Overwhelming:
Start today with one simple ‘if-then’ plan. Small steps can lead to big changes, helping you build habits and achieve your goals.
If You Miss the Cue:
Build awareness by linking your “if” to frequent activities or set reminders to reinforce the habit.
If You Don’t Feel Motivated:
Motivation isn’t necessary if the plan is automatic. Focus on execution, not how you feel in the moment.
Finally, by using ‘if-then’ plans, you can simplify decision-making, turn goals into actionable steps and build momentum for meaningful progress. Start today with one small ‘if-then’ plan and watch how it transforms your habits and goals.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Happiness is often found in small, meaningful moments and when we combine that with mindfulness (i.e. being fully present in the here and now) well, then we’ve got the recipe for a more joyful, balanced life.
Here’s how you can make every day a little happier by being intentional:
Gratitude – Every day has something to celebrate, even if it’s as simple as a sunny morning or your first sip of coffee. Start a gratitude journal and jot down three things you’re thankful for each night. Watch as your mind shifts to focus on what’s going right in your life.
Connection – Happiness grows when shared. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while or invite someone for coffee. Building meaningful connections reminds you that you’re not alone in this big, beautiful world.
Spark Joy – What makes you feel alive? Whether it’s painting, playing music, hiking, or baking the perfect sourdough, carve out time for the things you love. Joy is contagious—especially when it starts with you.
Move – Focus on movement that elevates your mood. Dance in your kitchen, stroll in the park, or take a yoga class. Exercise isn’t just for your body, it’s a happiness boost for your brain.
Kindness – give to receive as the kindness come straight back! Pay for a stranger’s coffee, volunteer your time, or send an encouraging text. Helping others creates a ripple effect of positivity.
From the minute you wake, before checking your mobile phone, pause and set an intention for your day. Whether it’s “I’ll approach today with patience” or “I’ll find beauty in the ordinary,” this small intention can guide your mindset for the day that lies ahead.
Breathing slowly is a secret power. When life feels overwhelming, come back to your breath. Inhale deeply for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for four then hold for four (this is called ‘box breathing). You’ll feel your stress melt away, one breath at a time.
Notice the Little Things
Ever paused to really listen to the sounds around you or sense the sun on your face? Try engaging your main senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell) so you smell your tea, feel the lovely texture of your clothes, listen to the sound of your footsteps – all of this will bring you to living in the here and now.
Eat with Awareness
Instead of mindlessly munching, savour your food. Notice the flavours, textures and all the aromas. Eating mindfully turns an everyday habit into an act of appreciation and joy.
Pay Attention
Think you’re saving time by juggling tasks? Think again. Give your full attention to one thing at a time, whether it’s a work project, a conversation, or even washing the dishes. It’s surprisingly freeing—and effective.
Nature: Leave your phone at home or in the car and spend time in nature. Notice the rustling leaves, little chirping birds, or the way the sunlight breaks through the trees. Nature has a way of quieting your mind and lifting your spirit.
Meditate, Even if only for a few minutes. Use various social media apps like Calm or Headspace to help make mindfulness accessible even on your busiest days.
Journal: Spend a few minutes reflecting on your day—what brought you happiness, or what moment made you feel deeply connected to the present? Writing it down cements the experience and reminds you to look for more.
Happiness and mindfulness aren’t about perfection—they’re about showing up for yourself in small, meaningful ways. So take a deep breath, smile at the little victories, and remember: the life you want is built in the moments you create.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Caroline Crotty Counselling & Psychotherapy Limited - 636306 - Suite 7, Block A, South Terrace Medical Centre, Infirmary Road, Cork T12 WF40
Copyright 2021 Caroline Crotty. All rights reserved. Website by 
