Memories can be powerful. They shape who we are, provide lessons, and anchor us to moments of joy. But what happens when unpleasant memories hold us back from happiness? While it’s natural to dwell on challenging experiences, letting go is an art – something to be practised through practical techniques. Hereunder are 35 tips to release unpleasant memories and help you embrace happiness.
1. Reframe the Memory with a Narrative
Turn the unpleasant memory into a story of growth. Reflect on how it shaped your strengths or taught you resilience.
Gratitude isn’t just for good experiences. Thank the situation for the lessons it has taught you, shifting your focus from pain to growth.
Humour disarms pain. Laugh at the absurdity of the memory or create an exaggerated, comical version of the event.
When you walk through a door, mentally say, “I leave the past behind me.” This physical and mental cue helps compartmentalise and let go.
Imagine depositing your unpleasant memory in a mental “bank.” Withdraw it only when needed for reflection or learning.
Certain scents can ground you in the present and create positive associations, overwriting negative feelings.
Label the emotion the memory evokes—like anger or sadness—rather than focusing on the event. This creates emotional distance.
Write a list of negative experiences you’ve overcome. This tangible reminder of your resilience can shift your perspective.
Imagine your future self looking back at this moment with kindness, knowing it will feel less significant over time.
Holding a cold object, like an ice cube, can interrupt negative thought loops and anchor you in the present.
This question reframes your perspective, diminishing the event’s emotional intensity in the long term.
Reimagine the memory with an absurd or humorous twist to deflate its power over you.
Sing about the memory to a silly tune. This playful approach creates emotional distance and makes the memory less intimidating.
Choose an object to represent the memory. Bury, destroy, or throw it away as a symbolic act of release.
Think about how the unpleasant event indirectly contributed to positive changes or growth in your life.
Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it gently when you catch yourself dwelling on the memory, breaking the thought loop.
Imagine the memory is a scene in a film. Seeing it as an outsider helps reduce emotional attachment.
Write a letter to the memory as if it were a toxic relationship. Explain why you’re letting it go, then destroy the letter.
For every unpleasant memory, write a positive one and place it in a jar. Over time, the positive memories will outweigh the negative.
Picture the memory dissolving, like sand washing away in the ocean, as you focus on the present moment.
Visit a new place. Novel surroundings stimulate your brain to focus on the now rather than the past.
Before bed, visualise the memory but imagine a positive or absurd ending. This reshapes how your subconscious processes it.
Shift your energy by helping someone else. Kindness activates neural pathways for positive feelings and reduces personal distress.
Repeat the mantra: “It happened. I can’t change it, but I can choose how I carry it.” Acceptance helps you let go of resistance.
Paint, draw, or sculpt the memory. Externalizing it as art diminishes its emotional grip and lets you reframe it creatively.
Physically shake your body for 1–2 minutes, mimicking how animals release stress. This resets your nervous system.
Focus on small, positive experiences—like a warm breeze or a kind word. Research shows savoring micro-moments counteracts negativity.
Put together songs that inspire resilience. Sing, dance or maybe even cry to help process emotions.
Imagine the memory as a scared child. Offer it compassion and gently release it, acknowledging it no longer serves you.
Write down every unpleasant thought that resurfaces throughout the day. Externalising everything on paper reduces its emotional weight.
Learn a new skill, like knitting, cooking, or solving puzzles. Novel challenges shift focus and build new neural pathways
Picture yourself placing the memory on a leaf and watching it float downstream in a peaceful river.
Ask, “Does this thought serve me?” If not, visualise placing it in a mental “rubbish bin.”
Look in a mirror and say, “I deserve peace. The past cannot hurt me anymore.” Reinforcing this visually and audibly empowers release.
When a memory resurfaces, take ten slow, deep breaths. This creates a pause and allows emotions to settle.
Happiness often lies not in avoiding unpleasant memories but in learning how to process and release them. These tips offer a toolkit to help you whenver npleasant memories or worried thought sprint up. Whether through humour, visualisation, or symbolic acts, the key is to experiment with techniques that resonate with you.
Letting go is not about erasing the past, it’s about reclaiming your present and building a future rooted in peace and joy.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Now that we are in May 2020, whether we are cocooning or shielding, working or not, trying to be a teacher to our children or living alone, regardless of our current circumstances it is reasonable to say we are all somehow affected by Covid-19.
Stay connected. Even when we are living on our own, relationships are key to feeling in control. Connection with others will help us get through this difficult time. Reach out to organisations that provide telephone listening services if you do not have someone in your life to contact. Knowing that someone is at the end of the phone is comforting.
We feel good when we know we are helping others. Reach out and connect with people particularly those living alone. Family members are often the last to know when someone is lonely or struggling. A regular phone-call might be all someone needs to feel less afraid. “Hello, how are you?” those four words connect us.
Avoid information saturation. We do not need constant Corona updates. Decide what information you need, from what source and stick with that. Be disciplined with your day. The constant stream of information can drain our mental and emotional resources. We might have a radio on in the kitchen, a tv sounding in another room, whilst talking on our mobile. Sit with silence every now and then.
It is beneficial for our minds to give whatever we are doing our full attention. Focus on the task in hand. Look for whatever brings joy – admiring flowers, bird song, cloud formations, reading fiction etc. When we focus our attention, we quieten and gain control over our thoughts. Stop running on autopilot. Become conscious of all actions. Being mindful helps us keep our thoughts in -the present and not in the anxious-uncertain-future or the regret-filled-past.
To remain calm while Covid-19 is our new reality have structure and routine. Have a daily plan which includes exercise, self-care, social time/connection, meals, breaks, reading, prayer… whatever plan you make, try to adhere to it. Go to and get out of bed at set times. Shower. Get your day off to a good start by dressing well. When we feel we look good, we feel good. It does not matter whether anyone sees you, you see you. Try not to worry if it is difficult to sleep the whole night through, rest and relaxation are beneficial. If you cannot sleep on a persistent basis, firstly chat with your pharmacist who might have suggestions but please seek help.
Challenge your brain. Keep your mind active. Text or brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand. Do puzzles/jigsaws. Try something demanding and keep those cogs turning! Perhaps do a free online course like those on alison.com or coursera.org
Never underestimate the importance of water for brain function. Being hydrated helps: lubricate joints; flush waste products; prevent digestive difficulties; keep temperature regulated; boost exercise performance; promote kidney health; deliver nutrients to cells; prevent infections; keep skin supple; improve sleep quality, cognition and overall mood. By drinking more water than you are losing, you are helping your heart do its job. Stay hydrated by sipping water throughout the day.
Spring is here. Summer is on the way.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Here is a list of things we can do online while we remain indoors. Help is at hand during Covid-19. Here is a list of resources from school learning to listening to jazz to online courses and there’s something for everyone.
Alison offers free online courses
Academy4sc provides free videos for youngsters (and adults) on topics such as psychology, philosophy and economics
Audible is providing service free during the lock in.
Bring Bach into your home with BackTrack music.
BBC Sounds provides a variety of podcasts, radio, music.
Berliner Philharmonic Orchestra free for 30 days for you to enjoy concerts and documentaries.
Cambridge Library access to books until 1st May 2020.
Calm provides access to free mindfulness resources.
Coursera provide free online courses.
Own your own goals with Davina is free of charge for 30 days – fitness, nutrition and wellbeing.
Downdog yoga app is free until 1st May 2020.
eCollege are offering free courses during the pandemic.
edex provide free online courses.
Everyman Theatre Cork has put together a wonderful list of resources including supports for artistes as well as all forms of art, theatre from your home, music, film, opera and links for children and adults.
Learn how to play that instrument you’ve been wanting to learn with Fender Play
Future Learn provide free online courses and Trinity has courses there too.
GROW‘s six week guide to coping with the pandemic or join a weekly online support meeting.
Learn through Harvard’s online programme includes some free courses.
Headspace is providing free resources to mind your mental health at this time.
Free Piano lessons to anyone who wants to learn at home with Home School Piano
ITunesu from Apple provides free educational courses
Tech leaders are joining together using Leaders of Tech on line.
Libraries are providing free resources.
Library for third level students.
Mary Imaculate College has provided ebooks and educational content.
50 jazz concerts to stream into your home with the Montreux Jazz Festival.
Open University Library and Open University free Courses
Open Space College / Text books from calculus to physics!
RealPython are providing free lifetime video courses.
Bring a dance performance into your sitting room with Sadler Wells entertainment.
Netflix is free to users for the first month as is Scribd which offers the first 30 days free of charge.
TedEd provides films on a variety of subjects to watch on line and provides questions to answer to test our knowledge.
A large number of online resources are available through ecampus Ontario.
Minding your mental health during COVID-19 – Things you can do to mind your mental health during COVID-19
Suicide or Survive are providing free online wellness workshop and you matter workshop.
Volunteer Ireland Finding a Volunteer Role
David Walliams releases a story every morning at 11.00am for children (and adults!).
Your Mental Health online information and supports.
American list of online tools for all the time not just Covid-19.
Make any room a classroom with Brainpop
CJ Fallon are providing free access to school books until start of term time.
Edco free learning passes for a few weeks for Primary, Junior and Senior Cycle pupils.
Faber are providing children’s teaching resources.
Folens open access to online resources for primary and post-primary students.
With Idea learn vital skills for work life once school is over.
Maths and Science video lessons from MIT
Twinkl free online educational resources during Covid-19.
Children’s Online resources article from 104fm.
List of online resources for the pandemic from TheJournal,ie
Read at home with StoryWeaver
Stay safe, stay healthy and stay two meters apart!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
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