A client this week mentioned that they’re doing “Dry February” not just for physical health but to help manage anxiety levels. This is an important point – reducing alcohol consumption isn’t just about feeling healthier, it’s about improving mental well-being, emotional stability and cognitive clarity.
Alcohol is a depressant that impacts brain chemistry. While a drink may feel like it relieves stress in the moment, over time, it can make anxiety and sadness worse. Research shows that alcohol disrupts the balance of neurotransmitters like GABA and serotonin, both essential for mood regulation. This can lead to increased anxiety, disrupted sleep and lower mood and confidence (the opposite of why people often turn to alcohol!)
Increased anxiety, sometimes referred to as “rebound anxiety,” occurs when alcohol initially numbs stress but then wears off, causing the brain to overcompensate and heighten anxiety the following day. Sleep is also affected, as alcohol reduces REM sleep, which is essential for emotional processing and cognitive function. Over time, alcohol can deplete serotonin levels, leading to low mood, irritability and decreased self-confidence.
Many people notice a positive shift in their mental state when they stop drinking alcohol, even for a short time. Without alcohol, the nervous system stabilises, reducing panic-like symptoms and emotional fluctuations. Alcohol-free periods are linked to higher serotonin levels, promoting emotional stability. Thinking becomes clearer, as alcohol impairs memory and focus and taking a break can enhance problem-solving and productivity.
Social confidence can also improve. While alcohol is often used to ease social anxiety, it can reduce self-confidence in the long term and increase self-criticism. Avoiding alcohol allows people to develop genuine confidence and social ease without relying on substances.
It’s never too late to make positive, healthy changes. Quitting alcohol, even temporarily, can reduce anxiety, improve mood and enhance overall cognitive function. For those struggling with stress, taking a break from drinking isn’t just a health choice, it’s a mental wellness strategy. Trying a month without alcohol may provide unexpected benefits, from better emotional balance to clearer thinking and improved confidence.
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Google has made access to information astonishingly easy. While not all of the information is accurate or from reputable sources, it’s evident that we live in a world with knowledge at our fingertips – literally. In my experience, there’s recently been a surge of interest in attachment styles and how they shape romantic relationships. It’s tempting to trace everything back to our parents and assign blame for who we are today. However, at some point, we must take responsibility for our own growth, learning how to understand and manage our reactions.
Attachment styles are a cornerstone of psychology, offering valuable insights into how we connect and relate to others. Rooted in early childhood experiences with our caregivers, these patterns shape our adult relationships, influencing how we approach intimacy, handle conflict, and express our wants/needs/desires.
Understanding our attachment style can be a transformative step towards greater self-awareness and personal growth.
Pioneered by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, attachment theory identifies four primary attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. These styles are shaped by the responsiveness and consistency of caregiving in childhood. Click on the links to read more about the four attachment styles.
Anxious Attachment: Inconsistent caregiving can lead to this style, where adults crave closeness but fear rejection, often resulting in insecurity or over-dependence.
Avoidant Attachment: Emotionally distant caregiving may foster this style, where individuals value independence but struggle with vulnerability and trust.
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: Often linked to trauma or neglect, this style combines anxious and avoidant traits. Adults with this style may desire connection yet fear intimacy, creating a push-pull relationship dynamic.
Secure Attachment: This develops from reliable and loving caregiving. Adults with this style often trust easily, communicate openly and balance intimacy with independence.
Our attachment style significantly shapes our emotions, behaviours and dynamics within our relationships. Recognising the influence of attachment can lead to profound changes in how we relate to others and ourselves.
Cultivate Self-Awareness: Understand how our past experiences influence our current relationships.
Improve Communication: Learn to identify and express our needs clearly and explicitly.
Develop Healthier Relationships: Address limiting behaviours and build trust.
Foster Personal Growth: Break cycles of insecurity or avoidance that hold us back.
Even small insights can make a difference to us and our relationships. For instance, understanding the spotlight effect, which is the tendency to overestimate how much others notice or judge our actions, can help alleviate insecurities tied to attachment anxiety. There’s a post about the spotlight effect here.
The lovely news is that attachment styles are not fixed. We can move towards a secure attachment style with effort, intention, and the right tools. We are not cast in stone. It won’t happen overnight, but change is possible. Therapy is one of the most effective pathways for unpacking unresolved emotions and building healthier relational patterns. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and journaling, can enhance emotional regulation, helping to manage our responses in challenging situations. Building secure connections with supportive, trustworthy people can provide a model for healthier relationships. Regular self-reflection is also essential – examining our relational behaviours and beliefs allows us to identify what needs to change. However, insight alone isn’t enough; action is key. Awareness without effort is a missed opportunity for growth.
Self-awareness and consistent effort can guide you toward healthier connections. Reflect on how your early experiences influenced your relationships today. Practice open and honest communication with loved ones, challenging negative thought patterns and replacing them with balanced perspectives. Learn to set and respect boundaries, ensuring that your and others’ needs are harmonised. Seek professional guidance if unresolved trauma or recurring issues continue to affect your relationships.
Surround yourself with emotionally available and supportive individuals who model the connections you want to foster. Finally, prioritise self-care to maintain emotional stability—including activities like regular exercise, adequate sleep, or hobbies that bring you joy and peace.
Understanding your attachment style is not about labelling yourself or labelling others. It’s about recognising patterns and taking actionable steps toward forming healthier connections. With awareness and intention, you can transform how you relate to others and, more importantly, how you relate to yourself.
For those keen to explore further into attachment styles, here are some resources to explore:
Each offers tools and insights for understanding attachment and fostering personal growth.
For more on related topics, check out the blog post here.
You may reflect on your attachment style and consider how it has shaped your current and past connections and relationships. Personal growth and introspection is a lifelong journey. Every little step towards self-knowledge counts as progress in life. By embracing your awareness of self, introspection and taking intentional actions, you can create (and improve) relationships so they are healthier, more fulfilling, and grounded in trust and connection.
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I was recently discussing ‘burnout,’ and the person I was speaking with mentioned that the term seems to be used far too loosely these days. He observed that people say they’re experiencing burnout when busy at work or feeling worn out after Christmas parties. This casual use of the term caught my attention because, in my practice, I use ‘burnout’ in a clinical sense. When people come to me with burnout, they’re often signed off work by their GP and face a long and challenging road to recovery. While it’s valuable that awareness of stress is increasing, it’s crucial to recognise that true clinical burnout is far more serious than general exhaustion.
Burnout is a medical and clinical condition with serious implications for mental and physical health. Clinical burnout, as defined by the World Health Organisation (WHO), is a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterised by three core features: persistent feelings of emotional and physical exhaustion, a sense of detachment or cynicism towards one’s job and a reduced ability to perform effectively. Unlike general fatigue, clinical burnout develops over time and does not simply disappear after a good night’s sleep or a short break. It requires careful attention and often structured intervention to address.
Although the term ‘burnout’ is now used rather casually to describe being overworked or tired, these experiences don’t align with the clinical definition. While the casual use of the term reflects a growing awareness of stress, it can dilute the seriousness of burnout. This overuse may make it harder for people experiencing clinical burnout to be recognised and supported. Importantly, burnout in its clinical sense is not a sign of personal weakness or failure but rather the result of systemic issues such as chronic stress, excessive workloads, lack of support and environments that fail to prioritise employee well-being.
Clinical burnout develops when workplace stress becomes unmanageable and unrelenting. It often arises in environments with excessive demands, little autonomy, inadequate support, or a mismatch between personal values and organisational culture. These factors combine over time, eroding resilience and making recovery increasingly difficult. Unlike occasional stress, which can sometimes be motivating, burnout represents a prolonged and harmful state that affects both mental and physical health.
The symptoms of burnout are far-reaching and can impact every aspect of everyday life. Emotionally, people may feel drained, irritable or even hopeless. Cognitively, people may struggle to focus or with decision-making or memory, which can add to feelings of frustration. Physically, symptoms such as chronic fatigue, headaches and sleep disturbances often emerge. Behaviourally, people may withdraw from social connections, procrastinate, or avoid responsibilities altogether. Burnout can profoundly affect relationships and self-esteem, leading to feelings of failure and disconnection from others.
Addressing burnout requires a multifaceted approach that includes both individual and systemic changes. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore the underlying issues contributing to burnout, develop coping mechanisms, and rebuild resilience. Rest and recovery are essential because burnout cannot be resolved by simply pushing through it – people need time, space, and patience to heal. Systemic workplace adjustments are often necessary, including reducing excessive demands, establishing clear boundaries, and fostering supportive environments. Self-care practices such as mindfulness, regular exercise and reconnecting with activities that bring joy can also play a crucial role in recovery.
Burnout is not a reflection of personal failure. It’s a complex response to prolonged, unrelenting stress, often shaped by factors outside of individual control. Understanding burnout means recognising its key symptoms: emotional exhaustion, detachment, and a reduced sense of accomplishment. These aren’t signs of weakness but signals from your body and mind that your current demands exceed your resources.
Addressing burnout starts with self-awareness and support. Prioritising emotional and mental health isn’t just self-care—it’s a fundamental necessity for thriving. This might mean setting boundaries, seeking workplace accommodations, or rethinking unsustainable systems in your life. However, proper recovery also requires systemic change. Organisations and communities must create environments where wellbeing is central, not optional.
If you or someone you know is experiencing burnout, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide guidance, validation and strategies for recovery. You don’t have to face it alone – healing and recovery are possible, and your well-being is worth the effort.
For further information, here’s a handy guide to an NHS booklet about Burnout
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