I remember reading the question “with whom will you have the longest relationship?” I thought “well, if I’m fortunate, it will be with my parents or my siblings”. I was wrong. The answer is very different.
The longest and most important relationship you will ever have is with YOU. The better the relationship you develop with you, the better it is, not only for you, but also for everyone around you. When we are happy and content within our own skin, we are easier to get along with because the positivity radiates outwards from us.
How can you improve your relationship with you? It’s not as difficult as it might at first seem. Start small and build over time. Remember the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. In fact, every accomplishment the world over began with someone deciding to give whatever it is a try.
Gratitude is a topic I often mention. Every night before you sleep write down three things that you appreciate about you with a pen and paper! It might be that you have good health or have children, or live in a quiet/busy area. These do not have to be earth-shattering big deals. You could write that you appreciate being a kind person, that you waved at a neighbour when you spotted him in the street or that you groomed your dog. Learn to appreciate the little things in every day. If you’re feeling stuck, appreciate having the freedom to leave your house if you so desire – at least we are not in prison!
Filtering is important to feeling good about you. If you have negative people in your life who are always complaining, try to filter out their negativity and tune them out – don’t get sucked in!
A wonderful approach to life is to learn to minimise complaints and criticisms. When you adopt that stance, you will no longer feel the need to judge or gossip. Sometimes at various points in our lives, listening to news-reports can be quite upsetting. If you don’t want to listen to or watch the news then don’t! Turn it off. Filter it out.
Reframe simply means to think differently, to spot unhelpful thoughts and replace them with more positive or helpful ones. Challenge your thoughts and the wording you use if its negative. Try to keep in mind how you would speak to someone else. You would probably be softer in your tone and approach than you are towards yourself when you get something wrong. Be gentle and kind to you. Ask yourself, “what advice would I give someone else about this situation?” then take your own advice.
You make mistakes just the same as the next person – because you are human! Remind yourself that you are not perfect but you are good enough.
More on being good enough here https://carolinecrotty.ie/being-good-enough/
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