Throughout my years of working with people from all walks of life, one truth has become abundantly clear: we are often our own harshest critics. Time and again, I meet people weighed down by self-doubt, lost in comparisons, and questioning their sense of worth. But here’s a fact I wish you would hold on to today: you are enough, exactly as you are.
We live in a world that often equates worth with achievement, appearance, or success. This can lead to the exhausting pursuit of perfection – an unattainable goal. Whether striving to be the best at work, the fittest in your gym, or the most engaging person at a party, perfectionism keeps us in a constant state of “not good enough.”
The reality is that perfection isn’t what connects us as humans. Vulnerability, authenticity and kindness are far more powerful. Allowing yourself to be imperfect not only lifts the weight of unrealistic expectations but also invites deeper connections with others who see and accept you for who you really are.
It’s natural to make mistakes. We all do. Yet, many of us cling to our failures as evidence that we’re not worthy or capable. We say all sorts of terrible things to ourselves when we get something wrong. Some mistakes have more significant consequences; however, we need to be able to accept that we are human. But what if mistakes were viewed very differently? Instead of considering them massive failures, we could reframe them as opportunities for learning. Each stumble is a step forward, a chance to grow and a reminder that you’re trying – that’s something to be proud of. Even if you don’t like the outcome – you were willing to take a chance.
One of the biggest culprits of self-doubt is comparison. Social media makes it easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to others’ fake highlight reels. But you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes real life to someone else’s polished production. What you don’t see are their struggles, doubts and fears – people on social media well, they’re human, just like you.
Instead of measuring yourself against online personalities, turn your focus inwards. Celebrate your progress, however small, and honour your journey. It’s unique and worthy of praise. I even go so far as to say it’s worthy of feeling pride!
At the end of the day (said like Roy Keane), it’s not the number of promotions, likes, acknowledgements or accolades you receive on social media that define your sense of worth. What matters are the moments of kindness you’ve shown towards others, the resilience you’ve demonstrated in getting through the hardships in your life, and the relationships you’ve nurtured. Your worth is not tied to what you do; you are not your job; your self-worth is inherent in who you are.
If you take one thing away from this blog post – treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer a dear friend. When self-critical thoughts creep in, ask yourself, “Would I say this to someone I care about?” The answer is definitely ‘no’. You’d be so kind and supportive to someone else, so please offer yourself the same grace and support.
Here’s an exercise that I’d recommend you do every night! Write down one thing you really liked or appreciated about yourself that day. It could be as simple as “I handled a stressful situation well”, “I smiled at a stranger and made their day better”, or “I held a door open for someone, and I know they felt seen”. Over time, you’ll notice and appreciate your strengths and kindness towards others.
Remember, you are not defined by your productivity, appearance, or accolades. You are enough because of your humanity, effort and unique place in this world. The world would not be the same if you were never born or not here right now. If today feels hard, know that it’s okay to pause, breathe and just be. Tomorrow is a new day. You don’t have to be perfect; you have to be yourself.
If self-doubt feels overwhelming, consider reaching out to a therapist or counsellor or a peer support group or maybe now is the time to attend an AA or NA meeting – I suspect it might not do any harm to see what one is like! Sometimes, having someone to guide you through the noise of self-criticism can make a huge difference. You are worthy of support, joy and peace of mind. You’re also deserving of the love that you give others.
Take care of yourself!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Caroline Crotty Counselling & Psychotherapy Limited - 636306 - Suite 7, Block A, South Terrace Medical Centre, Infirmary Road, Cork T12 WF40
Copyright 2021 Caroline Crotty. All rights reserved. Website by 
