I find it fascinating that Halloween originated in Ireland. Ancient Celts celebrated the festival of Samhain when it was believed that the souls of the dead returned to Earth. Druids lit sacred bonfires, wild costumes were worn, and the Celtic deities were appeased with offerings. It was a festival of great fortune-telling and I’d bet there wasn’t a pumpkin in sight!
Perhaps you might select a local event this month, head out, and get involved. Connection is a vital element of feeling good about ourselves. Conversely, loneliness can have a profoundly negative impact on our health and well-being. Try to connect with others and embrace the fun aspect of October.
“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” (Jim Goodwin / Sydney J. Harris)
At work, I often ask, ‘how do you relax?’. People respond that they watch television, lie on the sofa or have a glass of wine. Whilst these activities are pleasant, they’re not relaxation skills. When we are healthy, we rarely pay attention to our breathing. However, controlling the pace of our breath is itself a relaxation skill. When we master breath control, we are better equipped to manage our worried or stressed reactions.
Humans encounter stressful situations. We cannot control the future or prevent unpleasant events, but we can learn how to relax our bodies and minds with diaphragmatic breathing. Because we differ, we relax in different ways. We owe it to ourselves to discover which relaxation skills best suit us as individuals, then practice and hone our favourite skills.
Diaphragmatic breathing can help improve focus and is used by singers, divers, and athletes
to improve lung capacity. Breathing too quickly can make us feel dizzy or even a little anxious. Taking slow, regular breaths can help us control worried or stressed thoughts and anxious feelings, and help us feel more relaxed and in control.
To control your breathing, place one hand on your chest and the other on your tummy. Inhale slowly through your nose, and imagine your breath is filling your abdomen like a balloon. The hand on your tummy moves. Some pause for a couple of seconds before breathing out slowly (I exhale through my mouth). The hand on your tummy moves as you exhale. The hand on your chest remains still. (This is where practice is required). Repeat this ten times twice per day. You don’t need to use your hands once you master diaphragmatic breathing. You can use this relaxation skill anywhere, anytime.
You’re breathing into your lungs while consciously engaging your diaphragm, focusing on your breath while reducing physical symptoms of anxiety.
This Halloween, enjoy doing something different, eating barmbrack, playing snap apple or apple bobbing, going trick or treating and practising your diaphragmatic breathing!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
There is much theoretical debate about the separation of mind-body. My understanding is that our minds provide our individual subjective experiences – our thoughts, feelings, memories or consciousness. Our minds and bodies are not separate entities as (put simplistically) our brains note what is going on in our bodies and watch out for changes in posture, heart rate, breathing, or muscle tension for example.
How we experience an event can depend on our appraisal of the situation. For example – although this is extreme, imagine that I jump from a diving board into a swimming pool, my brain can sense that my body is falling. I feel excited. Versus the scene where I accidentally fall from a diving board, the pool is empty; my brain senses that my body is falling, however, it’s an entirely different emotional experience. Our brains are involved in what’s going on in our bodies but our thoughts and appraisals determine our feelings.
When we consciously tell ourselves that we are excited about something rather than fearful it can change how we feel. We can trick ourselves into believing that we are excited (when otherwise we might say we are afraid). Our body and brain do not necessarily separate fear and excitement, and the conscious thoughts we use to describe feelings to ourselves can change our experience.
That mind-body connection is very evident when we are on rollercoaster rides, bungee jumps or watch horror films because we are provided with an enjoyable fear response! My level of fear may not match yours. Or pain, while it’s not an emotion, is something that we all subjectively experience, but no one can tell us how much pain we experience. Neither do people experience pain in the same way. I find the 1-10 pain-scale impossible to complete because I might think a pain is a full 10 until an 11 strikes! Or my 10 is your 5! I’m mentioning this is because our thoughts impact how we feel and we each feel a little differently and have different thoughts. You might say you’re feeling stressed or excited or afraid or that you’re in pain but it may not be the same experience for the next person.
What we do with our bodies impacts our feelings. Sleep, hydrate, regularly eat healthy and nutritious food, exercise (cardio and weight-bearing), stretch, breathe deeply, and when you care for your body, you have the added bonus of potentially safeguarding your emotional health. Our mind-body or brain/thoughts, feelings/emotions are interlinked.
Humans experience stress. Sometimes we ignore stressors and put the head down and keep going! Perhaps we might pretend to ourselves that we are not in financial debt or that our partners are absent but our bodies might give us a warning sign such as a migraine, upset stomach, sore neck or back etc. When we pay attention to our feelings and to our emotions, it can help us deal with the source of sadness, stress or anxiety. We can make a plan of action to tackle whatever is causing us to feel subpar. Connection is vital to our wellbeing so joining a group to be in the company of others if life is solitary is very helpful. Here’s a link to some meet-up groups I found on Google (and I can’t recommend this – just information-sharing!)
Create a healthy mindset. Set aside time every day or at least every second day to focus on something important to you – take action! You are important. You deserve care. Mind yourself. For a healthy mind – mind your body. Journal to keep track of whatever helps improve your mood and use that list as a reminder when you need a pick-me-up. Make time to do things that you enjoy. Connect with others, seek social support, accept you and accept change. Life is not static. Keep perspective. Reassure yourself you’re doing your best.
Your thoughts impact your feelings – watch those thoughts!
Feed your mind as well as your body. Make a plan of action to tackle worries and overcome whatever is thwarting your efforts to positively sync your mind-body so you can feel good physically, emotionally, mentally etc.
When struggling emotionally, self-care can prove difficult. No one knows how you feel just by looking at you so be open with your GP who can advise and might be able to refer you for free counselling via CIPC (Counselling in Primary Care) if you’ve a medical card. Alternatively, contact www.mymind.org which provides low-cost counselling throughout Ireland. Talking therapy such as counselling or psychotherapy whether online or virtual or face to face can help give you perspective on self-doubt, limiting beliefs, upsetting thoughts and help motivate you towards achieving what you want in your life.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
You might make your New Year’s resolution to listen to music you enjoyed when you were young or if you are young, listen to music that makes you feel good! Music has a profound impact on our brains and can transport us back in time, help us feel relaxed or work-out more productively. Music is so powerful it can help reduce pain and alter our mood. So crank up the choons!
To make healthy changes in the New Year we must rethink busy schedules. Finding time might be difficult, but ten minutes of non-stop walking three times a day is achievable. Every minute you move is invaluable. Exercise improves our overall wellbeing and quality of life. To improve our heart health, we need about 2.5 hours weekly, of moderate-intensity physical activity. Moderate-intensity activity increases heart-rate, gets us sweaty and causes us to breathe more quickly – which is also perfect for helping to alleviate the physical symptoms of anxiety – exercise is win/win and here’s a link to 10 minute workouts.
There are a multitude of benefits to exercise – it improves mood and self-confidence and feelings of anxiety and depression; exercise builds muscle and strengthens bones. Exercise can increase energy levels and improve brain function. It helps improve sleep and pain management. Exercise is the best demonstrated way to maintain health, fitness and youth. Here’s a link to a similar article I wrote on LinkedIn Get Moving in 2019
Developing gratitude for the little things in life impacts our long-term happiness. The act of forcing yourself to think of events or you in a positive light or thinking of reasons to be grateful (no matter how small) or counting your blessings is beneficial for your brain and for your mood. The more you do it, the easier it becomes until eventually gratitude becomes an integral part of your life. Perhaps, set a new year’s resolution to write three things every day for which you are grateful regardless of how insignificant these things may seem. Today I am grateful for x, y or z. Over time you will see that every day is a good day – we have somewhere to sleep, human connection, food, work, liberty, sight, hearing, health, ability to exercise etc.
What else can we do in 2019 to improve our lives? Spending time in nature is therapeutic and has several health benefits. Being outdoors can put a spring in your step because nature is known to be restorative. Get outside as often as possible. Climb that mountain! Don’t forget that daylight also helps improve our sleep – a healthy new year’s resolution might be to spend time getting your sleep routine in order.
Keep your brain active and learn something new – take up yoga or meditation or learn how to calm breathe. Read more. Make a to-do list and get productive so you can cross things off that list. Disconnect from technology. Spend more time alone particularly if you have a stressful job. Keep a journal. Don’t complain, take action.
Join a group or club where you get to hang out with like-minded people. We need to be with others. When you least feel like meeting people may be when you most need to be in teh company of others. Reach out. Make contact. Meet a friend for a coffee or a walk. Have someone in your life that will listen and hear you and if you already have that person in your family or friend group – that’s fantastic. If you need support or advice – ask for it. Contact a professional Counsellor or Psychotherapist who will be happy to help or to point you in the direction of supports.
Maybe this year make your new year’s resolution to tell the people who are important to you just how much they mean to you and spend more time with them. When talking to yourself be an optimist not a pesimist. Be nice, kind and gentle to you and to others and that’s appropriate for every time of the year!
Whatever New Year’s Resolution you embark upon, I would like to wish you the very best for 2019.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Caroline Crotty Counselling & Psychotherapy Limited