Beat The Autumn Blues

“The evenings are getting longer” – we often hear this phrase but we still don’t have any extra time in the day! Although we have fewer hours of daylight, we needn’t feel sad or anxious about winter approaching. October brings Halloween and a bank holiday weekend for jazzing in Cork! Seasons change and with autumn we have the most amazing colours on our trees and we have leaves to kick. To date, here in Ireland, we have had wonderfully warm temperatures so there is no excuse for us not spending time outdoors! It is true that we have fewer daylight hours and the evenings can seem longer particularly if we spend more time indoors.

Here are a few tips to help you make the most of this month and beat the autumn blues.

Every morning remind yourself that each new day is a new beginning, something to be happy and grateful for (regardless of what is going on in our lives we are alive).

Get as much sunlight as possible. Spend time outdoors as often as possible.

Plan a break: a day trip, spa break, holiday, a night out, a hurling/football match, concert etc – it is good to have something to look forward to.

Develop gratitude for what you have.

Exercise outdoors in daylight hours. Exercise that gets your heart rate up and gets you sweating is good for your mental and physical health.

Hug more. Hugs are healing and release pain-reducing hormones. If there is no human to hug, then invest in a pet.

Make a conscious effort not to spend time in front of any screen (tv, phone, laptop, ipad etc). Reduce your overall screen time and instead, do something productive: knit, crochet, read a book (the old-fashioned paper kind!), write a letter to someone you love, post some cards, pick up the phone to a friend, visit an elderly neighbour, add a friend to your walk!

Declutter. Tidy your house and make your bedroom cosy so that you enjoy spending time there.

Be kind to yourself. Soak your feet in Epsom salts, have a massage, get a manicure, buy a magazine or scented candle –treat yourself to something nice.

Get to the beach. Although it may be cold, wet and grey, the sea is fabulous to admire, whether you sit in your car and watch the waves or perhaps you might brave it and go for a walk on the beach – it will blow the cobwebs away!

Be mindful of your alcohol intake this October.

Get sufficient sleep. If you’re in need of a few sleeping tips see sleep

Improve your diet and eat foods that are in season. Make a big pot of veggie soup. Keep yourself hydrated with water. Make a conscious effort to eat well. Take supplements that your pharmacist recommends and check your vitamin D levels with your GP by having regular bloods done.

Do a hobby course in your local secondary school or college.

Start a book club or a dinner club and make it about meeting people not about having the best food or the tidiest house!

Get creative. Paint, dance, listen to music or learn how to play an instrument.

Don’t drink coffee to give you a pick-me-up, get to bed early instead. Energy makes energy – the more you do the better you’ll feel!

Remind yourself of good times that you have had. Reminisce. There is no one else in the world like you. You are unique. You are as good as (but not better than!) the next person.

Develop an ability to glance at your mistakes but stare at your achievements!

Breathe deeply at various times throughout the day and simply pay attention to your breath – spending time alone is beneficial for your emotional and physical health.

Talk to someone you trust and offload your problems and worries. A therapist (counsellor or psychotherapist) can help you get through difficult times and reassure you that you’re not alone. Consider chatting with a therapist who provides CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) particularly if you find that your thinking is negative or unhelpful so that you can learn to become more self-kind or self-compassionate this October.

www.carolinecrotty.ie

Being good enough

The ‘mind bully’ is a regular part of life for most people. The mean-spirited, internal voice that criticises our physical appearance, flaws, conversation etc. The inner critic’s list is endless and is also fond of comparisons, comparing you to family members, friends or to people you don’t know who seem happy, successful, confident etc., particularly when you don’t feel particularly good about yourself. However, the people we compare ourselves to have issues and worries and their own internal critic just like us. Sometimes it can be really hard to feel that we are good enough.

We often have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Successful relationships, owning property, career advancement, having children etc can be the focus of our inner critic. We may feel there is something wrong with us if we don’t hit our self-imposed targets. We lose sight of what we are getting right and of our daily successes. We forget that we are doing okay, that we are alright just the way we are, that we are good enough.

We are not perfect but there is no need to give ourselves a hard time. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We will achieve more if we accept that we are each unique with flaws and limitations and talents and gifts.

Feelings are not facts. Thoughts are not facts. Just because you feel or think something it does not make it true. Don’t be fooled by what you think or feel especially if you are prone to giving yourself a hard time.

Pay attention to how you talk to others when they are in trouble. What tone and words do you use? Do you ‘speak’ to yourself in the same way? If not, why not? You are worthy of gentle words and gestures particularly when you make a mistake or get something wrong.

When we least want to meet people, that’s when we most need them. Stay connected to help you get your thinking back on track.

Give yourself a pat on the back for each little success. Spot the good things that you do every day – like being up out of bed and dressed. Remind yourself you are doing okay. You have come this far despite all the obstacles.

When we accept ourselves as we are right now, it helps us feel content. Appreciate the life you have, it may not be perfect or as you had planned but it is your life. You have talents that the next person doesn’t have.

Acknowledge where you are and what you have achieved. Don’t give yourself a hard time about what you don’t have. Acknowledge the progress and sacrifices that you’ve made to come this far.

Focus on progress rather than perfection. You have come a long way.

Being mean won’t make you feel good. Praise, kindness and gentleness work far better. You are good enough. You’re not perfect and it is okay not to be.

www.carolinecrotty.ie

Challenging Thinking

Challenging Negative / Illogical Thinking

If we are attempting to change our thinking pattern it can be helpful to analyse what we are saying to ourselves (in our minds). When we know what our thoughts are, then we can work towards replacing negative or illogical thoughts with more positive, rational ones.

Is your thinking realistic? Is it catastrophic? Are you logical? Are you mind-reading? Is your thinking magical (if x then y)?

To challenge negative thoughts or irrational thinking, try completing each of the following questions outlined in bold on a writing pad every day. I have inserted a sample answer.

If you find answering all the questions difficult at first, perhaps start on week one with just the first two questions and the following week answer the first three questions and so on. Before you know it, you’ll be automatically challenging your negative thoughts.

Where was I?

In my car driving home from work.

What happened?

Someone pulled into the road in front of me and caused me to brake hard. I got a fright because I nearly crashed.

What did I think? What were my thoughts?

How can people be so thoughtless. That driver is so reckless. He didn’t think about me or the dangers. I could have rear-ended that car. My insurance premium would sky-rocket. I can’t afford another bill. He is such an idiot.

How did you feel?

I was fuming. I was so angry I was shaking. I felt like giving him a piece of my mind. I could feel my face turn red and my heart-beat quicken.

What did I do?

I shouted and shook my fist at the driver. I banged my fist on the steering wheel. I drove more quickly.

What is a more logical and rational thought?

I didn’t crash. The driver was probably distracted by something else and didn’t see me. This is nothing personal. I can ignore the incident because it is not going to be important in a year’s time. I can focus on the radio, music or calm breathing instead of getting angry. I am in control of my emotions and my thoughts. I am okay. Pull back and allow a greater distance in between me and the car in front because that helps keep me calm.