Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a structured, evidence-based psychological treatment that has been shown to help with a wide range of difficulties, including depression, anxiety, stress, low self-esteem and relationship challenges.
Originally developed in the 1960s by psychiatrist Dr Aaron T. Beck, CBT supports people in building practical skills to manage distressing thoughts, behaviours and emotions. Rather than focusing on short-term relief alone, CBT promotes long-term improvements in wellbeing. Over the years, contributions from clinicians such as Dr Judith Beck have helped refine and expand the approach globally.
At the heart of CBT is the understanding that our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and behaviours are interconnected. By identifying and changing unhelpful patterns, people can experience meaningful and lasting improvements in mental health and overall quality of life.
CBT can support a wide range of everyday difficulties, including:
Low mood or lack of motivation
You might feel flat, stuck or just not like yourself. CBT helps you notice unhelpful thinking patterns and gently shift them, while reconnecting with things that bring energy and meaning.
Overthinking and worry
If your mind feels constantly busy or you’re always anticipating the worst, CBT offers tools to calm that mental noise and reduce overwhelm.
Stress and burnout
Whether it’s work, family or life in general, CBT helps build healthier coping strategies, establish boundaries and restore a sense of control.
Confidence and self-esteem
If you’re your own worst critic, CBT can help you challenge harsh self-judgements and build a more compassionate, balanced self-view.
Relationship or communication difficulties
CBT can support you in recognising patterns, managing emotional triggers, and communicating more clearly in your personal or professional life.
General anxiety or unease
Sometimes anxiety appears without a clear cause. CBT offers tools to manage physical symptoms and develop a greater sense of calm and stability.
CBT is always tailored to an individual’s specific needs and goals. Treatment typically lasts between 6 and 26 sessions, depending on the nature and severity of the issue. Sessions are structured, collaborative and goal-focused, with regular progress reviews. A key aim is to equip you with lifelong tools to manage your thoughts, emotions and behaviours beyond therapy.
While Cognitive Behavioural Therapy forms a strong foundation of my approach, I am not a strict CBT therapist. I also integrate elements of talking therapy to offer a warm, relational space that suits each person’s unique needs and preferences.
As of January 2025, I offer both in-person and online CBT sessions. Each 50-minute appointment is €80.00
If you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed or stuck in low mood, CBT offers evidence-based support and practical tools to help you regain your balance. Taking that first step can feel daunting but it’s often the most important one toward building a more fulfilling life.
If you’d like to book an initial consultation or ask a question, please feel free to get in touch. I offer counselling and psychotherapy in Cork city and online and I’d be happy to hear from you.
Contact Caroline:Contact Caroline: hello@carolinecrotty.ie
Visit: www.carolinecrotty.ie
In psychology and philosophy, “razors” are principles or mental shortcuts designed to simplify our decisions and explanations. While they originated in philosophy, many razors are relevant to human behaviour, helping us think critically, navigate uncertainty and improve relationships.
Razors are practical tools that clarify and guide our decisions and interactions. They offer clear rules of thumb to cut through overthinking, focus on what matters and simplify the complexities of life.
Here’s how some key razors influence how we live:
Occam’s Razor is the principle that the simplest explanation is usually the best. It’s a wonderful tool for understanding behaviour. For instance, if someone seems anxious, the simplest explanation might be that they’re dealing with a stressful life event rather than assuming a more complex explanation. When my car won’t start, Occam’s Razor suggests it’s likely the battery, not engine failure. This razor reminds us to seek simple, likely answers (rather than overcomplicating things).
The Golden Razor encourages us to live by the principle of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. It’s an ideal rule for relationships or therapy because it highlights the importance of empathy and fairness. Whether navigating a conflict or supporting someone struggling, treating others with kindness nurtures harmony and improves mental health.
Hanlon’s Razor is a favourite of mine! It advises never to attribute to malice that which can be explained by ignorance or incompetence. This razor has been a lifesaver for me in interpreting behaviour. For example, if someone forgets your birthday, it’s more likely they’re busy/distracted than intentionally uncaring. Hanlon’s Razor can transform how we view others by reducing hostility and fostering understanding.
Hitchens’s Razor sharpens critical thinking with its principle: “What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.” I love how this razor encourages scepticism and rationality. For example, if someone claims they’re the Queen of Sheba without evidence, the claim holds no weight. Using Hitchens’s Razor helps us challenge unsupported beliefs and rethink assumptions.
Grice’s Razor is a great communication tool. It advises us to take others at their word without overthinking their motives or feelings. If someone says, “I’ll be late,” Grice’s Razor reminds us not to overthink the why/reasons, like assuming avoidance/anger – and accept they’re just running late. It’s a wonderful way to reduce tension and foster clearer understanding.
Parkinson’s Law of Triviality highlights our tendency to focus on minor details to avoid bigger, more challenging tasks. When I find myself cleaning instead of working on a college assignment, it shows I’m procrastinating! Recognising this behaviour can help us redirect energy towards what really matters.
Hume’s Guillotine reminds us that just because something exists doesn’t mean it should. Stress, for example, is a natural response, but it doesn’t mean we should live with chronic stress – that calls for intervention. Similarly, interruptions at work don’t need to be passively accepted – many can be addressed and improved.
Razors, whether philosophical or psychological, aren’t just abstract concepts. They’re tools for simplifying decisions and fostering better relationships. For me, they’re invaluable in finding balance.and I hope you find them helpful too!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Understanding how anxious attachment influences relationships is essential for fostering personal growth, emotional resilience and healthy connections. Anxious attachment, rooted in early childhood experiences, shapes how we approach intimacy, trust and communication. With insight and intentional effort, individuals can work toward more secure and fulfilling relationships.
Anxious attachment is characterised by a deep fear of abandonment and an intense need for closeness and reassurance. This attachment style often develops in response to inconsistent caregiving during childhood. When care and affection are unpredictable, individuals may grow to expect rejection or inconsistency, fostering a heightened sensitivity to relational dynamics and a persistent need for validation.
People with anxious attachment often exhibit emotional patterns such as a fear of being left or unloved, an intense craving for reassurance and hyper-vigilance regarding their partner’s actions and moods. They may struggle to regulate emotions, often feeling overwhelmed by jealousy, anxiety, or neediness. These tendencies, while challenging, stem from a deep capacity for emotional connection and the desire for intimacy.
Anxious attachment can create cycles of seeking closeness while simultaneously fearing rejection. These patterns may lead to misunderstandings or strain in relationships, as the need for reassurance can be misinterpreted as clinginess. This dynamic can cause frustration or distance between partners. However, with understanding and clear communication, individuals with anxious attachment can foster meaningful and connected relationships.
Addressing anxious attachment begins with self-awareness and a commitment to growth. Therapy offers a safe environment to explore past experiences, process emotions and identify attachment-related patterns. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or journaling, help individuals manage emotional reactions and increase self-awareness. Building self-worth through affirmations and self-compassion reduces reliance on external validation and empowers individuals to feel more secure. Clear, open communication with partners fosters mutual understanding and trust, paving the way for a healthier relational dynamic.
Healing anxious attachment is possible with patience, self-compassion and intentional growth. By understanding its roots and challenges, individuals can create stronger and more fulfilling relationships. Therapy, mindfulness practices and supportive connections are valuable tools for transforming the fear of abandonment into a foundation of trust and emotional stability.
Recognising and addressing anxious attachment can improve emotional regulation, strengthen relationships and build self-worth. As trust and intimacy deepen, individuals often experience reduced anxiety and increased confidence in their relational abilities. The journey toward secure attachment transforms both personal connections and overall emotional well-being.
Anxious attachment offers both challenges and opportunities for growth. You can move toward a more secure attachment style by embracing self-awareness and fostering supportive relationships. If this resonates with you, explore our additional resources or contact us for professional guidance. Together, we can help you unlock the potential for balanced, meaningful relationships.
For more insights on attachment theory and emotional health, visit the blog at www.carolinecrotty.ie
Google has made access to information astonishingly easy. While not all of the information is accurate or from reputable sources, it’s evident that we live in a world with knowledge at our fingertips – literally. In my experience, there’s recently been a surge of interest in attachment styles and how they shape romantic relationships. It’s tempting to trace everything back to our parents and assign blame for who we are today. However, at some point, we must take responsibility for our own growth, learning how to understand and manage our reactions.
Attachment styles are a cornerstone of psychology, offering valuable insights into how we connect and relate to others. Rooted in early childhood experiences with our caregivers, these patterns shape our adult relationships, influencing how we approach intimacy, handle conflict, and express our wants/needs/desires.
Understanding our attachment style can be a transformative step towards greater self-awareness and personal growth.
Pioneered by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, attachment theory identifies four primary attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. These styles are shaped by the responsiveness and consistency of caregiving in childhood. Click on the links to read more about the four attachment styles.
Anxious Attachment: Inconsistent caregiving can lead to this style, where adults crave closeness but fear rejection, often resulting in insecurity or over-dependence.
Avoidant Attachment: Emotionally distant caregiving may foster this style, where individuals value independence but struggle with vulnerability and trust.
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: Often linked to trauma or neglect, this style combines anxious and avoidant traits. Adults with this style may desire connection yet fear intimacy, creating a push-pull relationship dynamic.
Secure Attachment: This develops from reliable and loving caregiving. Adults with this style often trust easily, communicate openly and balance intimacy with independence.
Our attachment style significantly shapes our emotions, behaviours and dynamics within our relationships. Recognising the influence of attachment can lead to profound changes in how we relate to others and ourselves.
Cultivate Self-Awareness: Understand how our past experiences influence our current relationships.
Improve Communication: Learn to identify and express our needs clearly and explicitly.
Develop Healthier Relationships: Address limiting behaviours and build trust.
Foster Personal Growth: Break cycles of insecurity or avoidance that hold us back.
Even small insights can make a difference to us and our relationships. For instance, understanding the spotlight effect, which is the tendency to overestimate how much others notice or judge our actions, can help alleviate insecurities tied to attachment anxiety. There’s a post about the spotlight effect here.
The lovely news is that attachment styles are not fixed. We can move towards a secure attachment style with effort, intention, and the right tools. We are not cast in stone. It won’t happen overnight, but change is possible. Therapy is one of the most effective pathways for unpacking unresolved emotions and building healthier relational patterns. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and journaling, can enhance emotional regulation, helping to manage our responses in challenging situations. Building secure connections with supportive, trustworthy people can provide a model for healthier relationships. Regular self-reflection is also essential – examining our relational behaviours and beliefs allows us to identify what needs to change. However, insight alone isn’t enough; action is key. Awareness without effort is a missed opportunity for growth.
Self-awareness and consistent effort can guide you toward healthier connections. Reflect on how your early experiences influenced your relationships today. Practice open and honest communication with loved ones, challenging negative thought patterns and replacing them with balanced perspectives. Learn to set and respect boundaries, ensuring that your and others’ needs are harmonised. Seek professional guidance if unresolved trauma or recurring issues continue to affect your relationships.
Surround yourself with emotionally available and supportive individuals who model the connections you want to foster. Finally, prioritise self-care to maintain emotional stability—including activities like regular exercise, adequate sleep, or hobbies that bring you joy and peace.
Understanding your attachment style is not about labelling yourself or labelling others. It’s about recognising patterns and taking actionable steps toward forming healthier connections. With awareness and intention, you can transform how you relate to others and, more importantly, how you relate to yourself.
For those keen to explore further into attachment styles, here are some resources to explore:
Each offers tools and insights for understanding attachment and fostering personal growth.
For more on related topics, check out the blog post here.
You may reflect on your attachment style and consider how it has shaped your current and past connections and relationships. Personal growth and introspection is a lifelong journey. Every little step towards self-knowledge counts as progress in life. By embracing your awareness of self, introspection and taking intentional actions, you can create (and improve) relationships so they are healthier, more fulfilling, and grounded in trust and connection.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
The beginning of a new year brings a unique opportunity for reflection, renewal and recommitment to yourself. It’s a time to release the past year’s mistakes, regrets and challenges – especially those that linger in your mind. Whether they involve relationships, finances, self-discipline, or personal struggles, now is the time to embrace hope, self-care and fresh possibilities. This transition into 2025 encourages you to create positive habits, focus on manageable self-care routines and build momentum for lasting meaningful change.
Mistakes are a natural part of life, shaping who we are and teaching valuable lessons. Yet, the weight of past mistakes often holds us back, overshadowing joy and progress. Self-forgiveness is essential for moving forward. It starts with acknowledging your mistake, facing it with honesty, and understanding that it doesn’t define your self-worth. Mistakes are part of being human, not a reflection of your value. Every human has made mistakes. It is part of being human, not a reflection of your value.
Mistakes can become powerful tools for growth if we reflect on them. By examining what went wrong and identifying the circumstances that led to it, we can make better choices in the future. This transformation – from failure to opportunity for learning – allows you to approach the new year with confidence and clarity.
Once you’ve taken responsibility, learned from your mistakes, and embraced self-forgiveness, it’s time to let go. Holding onto guilt and shame only keeps you stuck in the past. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting, it means releasing the hold your mistakes have on you. Techniques like journaling, mindfulness, or visualising the weight being lifted can help anchor you in the present and propel you into the new year with hope and purpose.
To avoid repeating past mistakes, focus on creating habits that align with your values. Address patterns that contributed to challenges and surround yourself with supportive, encouraging people. Small, consistent actions are the foundation for lasting change. Each step forward strengthens your commitment to personal growth and sets the tone for a fulfilling year.
Guilt can motivate change, but prolonged guilt and shame are destructive. Instead of viewing mistakes as failures, take the learning. Practice self-compassion, replacing self-criticism with kindness. Remind yourself of your progress and the potential the new year holds. Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a friend in a similar situation – you deserve it.
Focusing on the opportunities ahead shifts your energy from regret to purpose. Set intentions for the new year and take small, meaningful steps toward your goals. Each action builds momentum, enabling you to create a fulfilling and empowered life. Mistakes are part of the past, and they don’t have to dictate your future.
If the weight of past mistakes feels overwhelming, seeking support from a therapist can be transformative. Therapy provides a safe, non-judgmental place where you can explore emotions, process the past and find healthy ways to move forward. The right therapist will have heard it all before – it’s hard to shock us! Reaching out for help is a sign of strength and a step towards freedom from the weight of carrying history.
The new year offers an opportunity to release the burdens of the past and step into a brighter, more compassionate future. Mistakes are not part of you – they shape you, but they are not who you are. Each bump in the road carries the potential to make you stronger, wiser and more understanding. You can create a year of healing and thrive by practising self-forgiveness, learning from your experiences, and focusing on personal growth.
Take one small step today. Write a positive intention, speak a kind word to yourself, or allow yourself to let go of the mental replay of a past mistake, even for just an hour. Start small, stay consistent, and give yourself permission to move forward. You deserve to live a life free from the weight of guilt and full of hope and possibility.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Whenever I hear the word “lesson,” it might bring to mind school homework but here, it takes on a different meaning. The lessons in this collection are about learning from the following suggestions and gaining new insights that can shape your perspective and behaviour.
This set of 50 lessons is designed to inspire growth, cultivate balance and help you thrive across all areas of life – personal development, health, relationships and financial wellbeing. Each reminder gently nudges you towards living with purpose and intention, offering practical steps to embrace change, nurture self-care and build meaningful connections. Let these lessons guide you to a healthier, happier and more fulfilling life ahead.
These reminders can guide you towards a healthier, happier and more purposeful year ahead. Which resonates most with you? Which will you put into practice today?
Wishing you joy, love, please, health and great contentment this year.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Throughout my years of working with people from all walks of life, one truth has become abundantly clear: we are often our own harshest critics. Time and again, I meet people weighed down by self-doubt, lost in comparisons, and questioning their sense of worth. But here’s a fact I wish you would hold on to today: you are enough, exactly as you are.
We live in a world that often equates worth with achievement, appearance, or success. This can lead to the exhausting pursuit of perfection – an unattainable goal. Whether striving to be the best at work, the fittest in your gym, or the most engaging person at a party, perfectionism keeps us in a constant state of “not good enough.”
The reality is that perfection isn’t what connects us as humans. Vulnerability, authenticity and kindness are far more powerful. Allowing yourself to be imperfect not only lifts the weight of unrealistic expectations but also invites deeper connections with others who see and accept you for who you really are.
It’s natural to make mistakes. We all do. Yet, many of us cling to our failures as evidence that we’re not worthy or capable. We say all sorts of terrible things to ourselves when we get something wrong. Some mistakes have more significant consequences; however, we need to be able to accept that we are human. But what if mistakes were viewed very differently? Instead of considering them massive failures, we could reframe them as opportunities for learning. Each stumble is a step forward, a chance to grow and a reminder that you’re trying – that’s something to be proud of. Even if you don’t like the outcome – you were willing to take a chance.
One of the biggest culprits of self-doubt is comparison. Social media makes it easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to others’ fake highlight reels. But you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes real life to someone else’s polished production. What you don’t see are their struggles, doubts and fears – people on social media well, they’re human, just like you.
Instead of measuring yourself against online personalities, turn your focus inwards. Celebrate your progress, however small, and honour your journey. It’s unique and worthy of praise. I even go so far as to say it’s worthy of feeling pride!
At the end of the day (said like Roy Keane), it’s not the number of promotions, likes, acknowledgements or accolades you receive on social media that define your sense of worth. What matters are the moments of kindness you’ve shown towards others, the resilience you’ve demonstrated in getting through the hardships in your life, and the relationships you’ve nurtured. Your worth is not tied to what you do; you are not your job; your self-worth is inherent in who you are.
If you take one thing away from this blog post – treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer a dear friend. When self-critical thoughts creep in, ask yourself, “Would I say this to someone I care about?” The answer is definitely ‘no’. You’d be so kind and supportive to someone else, so please offer yourself the same grace and support.
Here’s an exercise that I’d recommend you do every night! Write down one thing you really liked or appreciated about yourself that day. It could be as simple as “I handled a stressful situation well”, “I smiled at a stranger and made their day better”, or “I held a door open for someone, and I know they felt seen”. Over time, you’ll notice and appreciate your strengths and kindness towards others.
Remember, you are not defined by your productivity, appearance, or accolades. You are enough because of your humanity, effort and unique place in this world. The world would not be the same if you were never born or not here right now. If today feels hard, know that it’s okay to pause, breathe and just be. Tomorrow is a new day. You don’t have to be perfect; you have to be yourself.
If self-doubt feels overwhelming, consider reaching out to a therapist or counsellor or a peer support group or maybe now is the time to attend an AA or NA meeting – I suspect it might not do any harm to see what one is like! Sometimes, having someone to guide you through the noise of self-criticism can make a huge difference. You are worthy of support, joy and peace of mind. You’re also deserving of the love that you give others.
Take care of yourself!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Have you ever spilt coffee on your top in a meeting or stumbled over a word during a presentation and felt like all eyes were on you? Or maybe you wore mismatched socks to a party and were certain everyone noticed. This phenomenon, where we believe our actions or appearance are under intense scrutiny, is referred to as the “spotlight effect”. We tend to overestimate how much other people notice and remember our actions. The reality is that most people are far too preoccupied with their own lives to scrutinise ours!
Understanding the spotlight effect can help free us from its grip and also help us navigate social situations with greater confidence and self-compassion.
The term “spotlight effect” was coined in social psychology and refers to our inflated perception of how much others notice and remember our actions or appearance. This cognitive bias arises because we are so immersed in our own experiences that it becomes challenging to step outside of ourselves and consider the limited perspective of others. In essence, we are the main characters in our own stories, and we assume others are equally focused on us.
Research backs this up. In a well-known study*, participants were asked to wear embarrassing t-shirts to a social gathering. When later asked to estimate how many people noticed the shirts, participants consistently overestimated the number. The reality was that most people either didn’t notice or quickly forgot. This demonstrates a key truth: most people are too preoccupied with their own concerns to dwell on others’ mistakes or quirks.
Evolutionarily, being attuned to others’ opinions had survival benefits. In early human societies, social cohesion was critical, and being aware of others’ judgments helped maintain harmony. However, in modern times, this tendency can become exaggerated, leading to unnecessary anxiety and self-consciousness.
Certain factors can intensify the spotlight effect. Social anxiety, for instance, can heighten the sense that you’re being judged. Perfectionism also plays a role, as individuals who set excessively high standards for themselves are more likely to fear others’ negative evaluations. Additionally, the rise of social media has amplified the spotlight effect by creating platforms where we feel constantly visible.
The Psychological Cost of Living Under the Spotlight
Living under the illusion of the spotlight effect can take a toll on mental health. It contributes to feelings of self-consciousness, insecurity, and even shame. Many clients describe avoiding certain situations because they fear judgment or ridicule. For example, someone might decline public speaking opportunities because they believe any minor slip-up will be remembered and judged harshly.
Over time, this avoidance can erode self-confidence and limit personal growth. It’s important to recognise that while the spotlight effect may feel real, it is often just a mental construct that can be dismantled with the right strategies.
Fortunately, the spotlight effect is a mental construct, and there are practical ways to dismantle it. Here are some strategies to help you break free from its grip.
Reframe Your Perspective: Remind yourself that most people focus on themselves. For example, when you feel self-conscious, ask yourself, “How often do I notice or remember minor mistakes others make?” The answer is prob, “Not often,” and the same applies to you.
Practice Self-Compassion: Instead of harshly criticising yourself for perceived mistakes, treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer a friend. Acknowledge that imperfection is a natural part of being human.
Shift the Focus: Redirect your attention outward. Engage with others and ask questions. Focus on what’s going on around you rather than your internal narrative. This can help break the cycle of self-conscious thoughts.
Embrace Exposure: Gradual exposure to situations that trigger the spotlight effect can help you build resilience. For instance, if you’re anxious about public speaking, start with smaller, low-stakes audiences and work your way up. You migth start by speaking during a small group gathering at work or with friends. Practice giving a toast at a family event; volunteer to present in some informal setting, such as a book club.
Limit Social Media Consumption: Social media can magnify the spotlight effect by presenting idealised versions of others’ lives. Taking regular breaks from social media or adjusting your algorithm to prioritise positive, authentic and realistic content can significantly reduce its impact on your mental well-being.
Moving Beyond the Spotlight: Understanding the spotlight effect is a powerful way to start freeing yourself from its grasp. It’s a reminder that we are all navigating our own challenges and that others’ attention is not focused on us as often as we imagine. By shifting your mindset and practicing self-compassion, you can reduce feelings of self-consciousness.
Many people learn how to free themselves from the pressure of an imaginary spotlight. They embrace challenges, deepen relationships and can live authentically. You can, too.
If this resonates with you, perhaps you might apply one of the strategies today. If the spotlight effect is limiting your potential then consider talking to a mental health professional. The world isn’t watching as closely as you think. You deserve to live fully, freely and authentically.
*Gilovich, T., Medvec, V. H., & Savitsky, K. (2000). The spotlight effect in social judgment: An egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one’s own actions and appearance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 211–222. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.78.2.211
www.carolinecrotty.ie
As the new year begins, many of us feel pressured to create a long list of resolutions – big, bold promises about improving ourselves in 2025. But let’s be honest: how often do we stick to our New Year’s resolutions? Instead of setting yourself up with rigid goals, why not try a gentler and more meaningful approach this year? Set intentions.
Intentions are different from New Year’s resolutions. Instead of focusing on specific outcomes (“lose 5 kgs in three months” or “save money”), intentions focus on how we want to live and how we want to feel. They’re less about achieving (or failing) and more about aligning with our values.
Unlike resolutions, which can leave us feeling like a failure when we don’t hit our target, intentions are adaptable. They grow with us as the year unfolds, helping us stay connected to what matters most.
Identify Your Values
What’s most important to you? Connection, personal growth, balance, adventure? Whether it’s health, happiness, relationships or creativity, your intentions should reflect your core values.
Focus on Feelings, Not Results
Instead of saying, “I’ll exercise five days a week,” try, “I’ll care for my body and enjoy moving it.” This keeps the focus on how you want to feel rather than setting a rigid expectation.
Keep It Positive
Frame intentions as things you’re inviting into your life, like “I’ll welcome more peace into my days,” instead of focusing on what you want to avoid.
Write Down Intentions
Keep your intentions visible to stay connected to them. Put them on your fridge, make them your phone wallpaper, or stick a note on your mirror.
“I’ll make time for the people who matter most”
“I’ll find moments of calm in my everyday life”
“I’ll enjoy movement and celebrate my body’s strength.”
“I’ll take small, steady steps towards a healthier, happier me.”
“I’ll pay attention and celebrate the little wins”
The beauty of setting intentions is that there’s no pressure to “get it right.” Intentions are a gentle reminder of what’s important and how you want to approach your life—they’re not a strict rulebook. They help you stay grounded in your values and guide you in making choices that feel authentic and fulfilling.
So, as you welcome 2025, give yourself permission to step away from strict resolutions. Instead, set intentions that inspire and guide you. Let this year be one of mindfulness, growth, and joy.
Step into 2025 with a fresh approach- ditch rigid New Year’s resolutions and embrace mindful intentions. Discover how setting intentions can help you live in alignment with your values, focus on what really matters most to you and make this year one of growth, joy and authenticity.
Here’s to a meaningful 2025!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Happiness is often found in small, meaningful moments and when we combine that with mindfulness (i.e. being fully present in the here and now) well, then we’ve got the recipe for a more joyful, balanced life.
Here’s how you can make every day a little happier by being intentional:
Gratitude – Every day has something to celebrate, even if it’s as simple as a sunny morning or your first sip of coffee. Start a gratitude journal and jot down three things you’re thankful for each night. Watch as your mind shifts to focus on what’s going right in your life.
Connection – Happiness grows when shared. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while or invite someone for coffee. Building meaningful connections reminds you that you’re not alone in this big, beautiful world.
Spark Joy – What makes you feel alive? Whether it’s painting, playing music, hiking, or baking the perfect sourdough, carve out time for the things you love. Joy is contagious—especially when it starts with you.
Move – Focus on movement that elevates your mood. Dance in your kitchen, stroll in the park, or take a yoga class. Exercise isn’t just for your body, it’s a happiness boost for your brain.
Kindness – give to receive as the kindness come straight back! Pay for a stranger’s coffee, volunteer your time, or send an encouraging text. Helping others creates a ripple effect of positivity.
From the minute you wake, before checking your mobile phone, pause and set an intention for your day. Whether it’s “I’ll approach today with patience” or “I’ll find beauty in the ordinary,” this small intention can guide your mindset for the day that lies ahead.
Breathing slowly is a secret power. When life feels overwhelming, come back to your breath. Inhale deeply for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for four then hold for four (this is called ‘box breathing). You’ll feel your stress melt away, one breath at a time.
Notice the Little Things
Ever paused to really listen to the sounds around you or sense the sun on your face? Try engaging your main senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell) so you smell your tea, feel the lovely texture of your clothes, listen to the sound of your footsteps – all of this will bring you to living in the here and now.
Eat with Awareness
Instead of mindlessly munching, savour your food. Notice the flavours, textures and all the aromas. Eating mindfully turns an everyday habit into an act of appreciation and joy.
Pay Attention
Think you’re saving time by juggling tasks? Think again. Give your full attention to one thing at a time, whether it’s a work project, a conversation, or even washing the dishes. It’s surprisingly freeing—and effective.
Nature: Leave your phone at home or in the car and spend time in nature. Notice the rustling leaves, little chirping birds, or the way the sunlight breaks through the trees. Nature has a way of quieting your mind and lifting your spirit.
Meditate, Even if only for a few minutes. Use various social media apps like Calm or Headspace to help make mindfulness accessible even on your busiest days.
Journal: Spend a few minutes reflecting on your day—what brought you happiness, or what moment made you feel deeply connected to the present? Writing it down cements the experience and reminds you to look for more.
Happiness and mindfulness aren’t about perfection—they’re about showing up for yourself in small, meaningful ways. So take a deep breath, smile at the little victories, and remember: the life you want is built in the moments you create.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
The vagus nerve is the longest and one of the most complex cranial nerves, extending from the brainstem to vital organs, including the heart, lungs, and digestive tract. It plays a key role in regulating essential bodily functions such as digestion, heart rate, and breathing. The vagus nerve’s pathways create a powerful link between the brain and various organs and are responsible for reflex actions like swallowing, coughing, and sneezing. Stimulating the vagus nerve can activate the parasympathetic rest and digest system, which promotes relaxation and helps calm both body and mind. How?
Deep, Slow Breathing
Diaphragmatic or belly breathing is a simple way to activate the vagus nerve.
How: 4-7-8 Breathing Technique
Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds. Hold the breath for 7 seconds.
Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds.
This technique encourages a shift from beings tressed to calm – ideal for use during stressful events.
Cold Exposure (Mammalian Dive Reflex)
Splashing cold water on our face, especially around the eyes, forehead, and nostrils can trigger the mammalian dive reflex. This slows the heart rate and redirects blood to vital organs, conserving energy and promoting calm. How: Use cold water on your face or apply a cool compress to face or ears for an almost instant calming effect.
Sing, Hum, or Chant
The vagus nerve connects to the vocal cords and throat muscles so vibrations from humming, singing, or chanting can stimulate it. How: Spend a few minutes humming or singing in a low pitch to create resonant vibrations every day. People find chanting “Ohm” especially calming.
Ear Massage
Massaging the areas around your ears stimulates Arnold’s nerve (a branch of the vagus nerve), helping you relax. How: Gently massage the area behind your ears and around the tragus (the small cartilage near the ear canal). Alternatively, gently massage down the sides of your neck to ease tension. Repeat as needed for relaxation.
Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness helps us create a mental space between ourselves and our thoughts. Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment, reducing cortisol levels and engaging the parasympathetic nervous system. How: Sit comfortably, focusing on your breathing. As thoughts arise, observe them without judgment and gently return your focus to your breath.
Regular Physical Activity
Consistent movement improves vagal tone, making your vagus nerve more responsive and promoting relaxation. How: Engage in activities you enjoy. Aim for around 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity per week e.g. brisk walking, light cycling, or swimming (but don’t forget muscle-strengthening activities too!)
Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana)
Breathing through alternate nostrils, one side at a time, can help balance the nervous system and stimulate the vagus nerve. How: Close your right nostril with your thumb and inhale slowly through your left nostril. Then, close your left nostril with your ring finger and release your thumb to exhale through the right nostril. Switch sides for each inhale/exhale. Repeat for 2–5 minutes, focusing on a steady,
rhythmic breath.
Learning to use your body’s relaxation system (i.e. stimulating the vagus nerve) is a simple yet effective way to restore calm. Deep breathing, cold exposure, singing, mindfulness and even an ear massage can help activate our body’s natural relaxation response. Which one are you going to try today?
Caroline Crotty BSocSc.HDip, MScPsych, MPsychSci
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Anxiety is like having a persistent worry or fear that doesn’t go away easily, even if there’s no immediate danger. It’s a bit like having an alarm inside you that goes off too often, and sometimes, there might be no clear reason. That alarm can make you feel nervous, restless, or tense. It can affect your body, causing things like a racing heart, sweating, physically shaking or feeling wobbly. It’s kind of like a fleet of fire engines coming to your home when there’s no fire – sometimes anxiety is a physiological reaction that does not match the situation.
Everyone feels anxious from time to time, like before an interview or a test or when facing something unknown. That’s when anxiety is positive – it keeps us focused. Feeling anxious is our body’s natural response to stress. Anxiety often manifests through symptoms like restlessness, excessive worry, and physical signs such as increased heart rate or insomnia.
Incorporating natural strategies into daily routines can significantly mitigate anxiety’s impact. Natural methods to manage anxiety and its symptoms include the following but it’s important to explore a variety of strategies to find what works best for you as an individual.
Physical activity is a powerful anxiety reliever. Regular exercise helps release endorphins, natural brain chemicals that can enhance our sense of well-being. Exercise improves our sleep and reduces stress. Aerobic exercises like jogging, swimming, or walking can be effective.
Mindfulness practices encourage living in the present moment and observing thoughts and feelings without judgment. Meditation can help with emotional regulation and reducing stress levels.
Diet has an impact on mental health. Reducing caffeine and sugar intake can help manage anxiety levels and have an overall positive impact on our bodies and minds.
Anxiety can disrupt sleep and poor sleep can exacerbate anxiety. Establishing a regular, relaxing bedtime routine and ensuring a comfortable sleep environment can improve sleep quality, helping manage anxiety.
Techniques such as diaphragmatic breathing, where you focus on deep, even breaths, can help calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety. Practice when calm for use when anxious.
Spending time in nature can lower stress levels. Nature’s calming effect on the mind is associated with reduced rumination and enhanced mood.
Writing can provide an outlet for expressing what’s on your mind and may help to reduce anxiety by organising thoughts and finding solutions.
Certain scents, like lavender, have been found to have a calming effect. Feed your senses to feel more calm. Feed your main senses (sound, touch, smell, taste, touch) by using calming music, aromas you enjoy, having soft fabrics on your skin etc.
Building a support network of friends and family can provide a sense of belonging and security, reducing feelings of isolation and anxiety.
These suggestions offer a holistic approach to reducing stress and anxiety. Start small by taking baby steps in the right direction!
Incorporating these natural strategies can provide relief from anxiety and its symptoms. Be patient with yourself. Praise yourself for everything you do. They may not be a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment so please consult with a healthcare provider for a comprehensive approach to managing anxiety.
www.carolinecrotty.ie Caroline Crotty BSocSc MA MSc Psych MPsychSci
Stress and anxiety are natural elements of life, but learning how to reduce stress and anxiety can significantly improve our wellbeing. Fortunately, there are evidence-backed techniques that empower you to take control of your emotional and mental health.
Mindfulness is a powerful technique that involves focusing our attention on the present moment, maintaining an awareness of thoughts, feelings, and environment through a compassionate and accepting lens. Originating in Buddhist meditation, secular mindfulness practice is now mainstream. Numerous studies demonstrate its effectiveness in reducing stress and anxiety. By cultivating mindfulness, we can develop an increased awareness of our thoughts and feelings, allowing us to respond to stressors more clearly and calmly. We might begin by paying attention to whatever is around us by looking at the sky, the colours of leaves, feeling our feet on the ground while noticing our breath – that is being present and mindful, and we can do it wherever and whenever.
Physical exercise is a game-changer. Keep moving – as long as your body allows – regardless of age. Engaging in regular physical exercise is beneficial for our physical and mental health. Exercise releases endorphins, natural mood-boosting chemicals. It also reduces stress hormones and improves sleep, all contributing to a decrease in stress and anxiety levels. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise on most weekdays.
A healthy lifestyle plays a crucial role in managing stress and anxiety. Ensure you get enough sleep and prioritise a balanced diet with nutrient-rich foods. Limit the intake of caffeine and alcohol, which can contribute to anxiety symptoms. Stay hydrated with water. Additionally, practising good time management and setting realistic goals can reduce feelings of overwhelm and stress. You might find the guide to better sleep helpful.
Social support is essential for coping with stress and anxiety. Loneliness can impact health and wellbeing. Cultivate strong relationships with friends, family, or support groups who can provide understanding, empathy and encouragement. Research suggests that having a reliable support network can buffer the adverse effects of stress and enhance our overall wellbeing. Join a group if you feel isolated. Phone the Samaritans any time, day or night, on 116123 (no charge from mobile or landline).
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is a well-established, evidence-based approach to managing stress and anxiety. CBT helps identify and challenge negative thought patterns and replace them with more realistic and helpful thoughts. Reframing our perceptions and beliefs can reduce anxiety and improve our ability to cope with stressors. Courses can be found at: CCI Health Self-Help Resources.
Engaging in self-care activities is crucial for stress management. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as hobbies, reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature. Setting aside regular periods for self-care helps replenish our energy, promotes emotional wellbeing, and reduces the impact of stressors. There are some self-care tips here.
Finally, reducing stress and anxiety is possible through evidence-based strategies. We can take proactive steps towards improving our mental wellbeing by incorporating mindfulness, exercise, healthy lifestyle choices, social support, cognitive-behavioural techniques, and self-care activities into our daily routines. It is vital to tailor these to your individual needs (cut your cloth according to your measure) and consult a mental health professional if you require additional support.
Caroline Crotty, Cork city-based Counsellor & Psychotherapist
www.carolinecrotty.ie
hello@carolinecrotty.ie
Our physical health and mental health are inextricably linked, with one impacting the other in a circular relationship. When feeling physically unwell, we might not feel very happy. When feeling anxious or overwhelmed, we might not feel physically well.
We can take measures to safeguard and boost our mental health. It can feel difficult and effortful, but the payoff is worth it. Prioritise your well-being to get the best out of your life.
Start Today!
Planning is fantastic, but starting today with something is far better than postponing until the time is just right! An imperfect something is better than a perfect nothing!
Exercise
Move for 20 minutes by marching on the spot, touching your elbows to the opposite knee, dance or follow an online class from the comfort of your home. If 20 minutes is too much, set a timer for 5 minutes, leave the house and as soon as the alarm goes off, turn around and come home – that’s a 10-minute walk and a wonderful starting point. 30 mins of moderate exercise most days can reduce stress, improve your mood, and boost self-esteem.
Screen-Free Time
Mobile phones are an intrinsic part of our lives. When prioritising mental health, schedule daily screen-free time. We do not benefit from being constantly distracted from ourselves. Spending time alone with our thoughts is beneficial. Our brains need downtime, ideally in nature, which can improve our focus. Even looking at and admiring trees is calming for humans because nature is therapeutic!
Social Connections
Just as important as spending time alone with our thoughts, forging social connections is beneficial for our mental health. It might be a little more difficult as we age to find new friends but reach out to others. Contact family members and friends, meet people, become involved in your community, join clubs/groups that interest you or volunteer.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is not about having a full mind but is more about being present and engaged in the current moment. Mindfulness can help reduce stress and improve focus and feelings of wellbeing. Spend a few minutes every day, focusing on your breath and breathing. While walking, pay attention to your body and the sound of your steps on the ground. When someone speaks, listen and hear what they’re saying. There are several ways to develop mindfulness or join a yoga, or mindfulness class
Self-Care
Make a list of things that you enjoy doing or that you used to enjoy when you were younger. Prioritise doing something from that list (whatever you enjoy) as part of self-care practice even if only for ten minutes every day e.g. reading, walking, music, drawing, gardening. If you are a parent, by doing what you enjoy you teach your children the importance of self-care – you are their role model.
Seek Help
Ask your GP for a list of supports. Alternatively, phone 1800111888 anytime day or night and you’ll be sign-posted to Irish mental health support services.
Gratitude
Most of us never miss what we have until it’s gone, including people. Developing gratitude
can improve our mood, reduce stress, and increase positive feelings. Write three things
every day for which you are grateful, regardless of how small or insignificant. That keeps our focus on the positives regardless of how tough the day is.
In summary, move your body, have screen-free time, spend time in nature, forge social
connections, seek help, and practice gratitude and mindfulness. The benefits of prioritising your mental health outweigh the effort. Something done is better than a perfect nothing so why not do something to mind your mental health today!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Information Overload isn’t new. It has more recently changed so that now, rather than have too many books to read, we have technology demanding our attention. We too are demanding of attention or potentially vying for the attention of others on social media. We are slowly learning that too much screen time may affect our attention span. Learning To Pay Attention to ourselves is beneficial and using a breathing meditation is time spent caring for you i.e. self-care.
Self-care is not self-indulgent, it is vital. Depending on our age, we may not have been taught about self-care in school but as adults, we independently learn that in order to give our best we must care and look after our bodies and minds.
A short breathing meditation can help us relax, gain focus and manage our worries or stressful thoughts.
I am not a mindfulness teacher neither am I am meditation master. My training is in counselling and psychotherapy. However, in my experience, when we learn how to focus our minds on something other than worry or bothersome thoughts, our attention can be a remarkably useful tool.
We can’t stop thoughts or worries from popping into our minds but what do we do with them once there? We can allow any thoughts to be present, while we learn how to bring our attention to our breath.
Using a meditation exercise can help us to be present in the here and now and not back in the past or flying off into the future, not caught up in our imagination. This is not about controling our thoughts or getting rid of them.
Mindfulness involves practicing bringing our attention back to the present, to the here and now – whenever it wanders off.
As an analogy, attention is like a muscle. If we don’t regularly use the muscle, it can become weaker. However, with regular exercise we can strengthen and build it.
Meditation exercises, like learning any new skill, require practice. Here’s one that takes only three minutes initially which, in time, can be increased to ten mins twice per day. In my experience, allowing ourselves even a couple of minutes every day to mindfully breathe is beneficial and relaxing.
Sit in a chair and get yourself comfy. Pay attention to your body and ask yourself, “what do I feel right now? What are my feelings? And what are my thoughts?” Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and to all the sensations in your body. Describe these experiences to yourself. Don’t judge or alter anything. Accept. Spend up to one minute doing this.
Bring your focus of awareness to your breath. Focus on the sensations of your breath as it enters and leaves your tummy. Bring your awareness to the sensations of movement in your tummy and allow your thoughts to go, to leave you as you breathe. Breathe in as you say ‘relax’ and on each exhalation say “calm”. If your mind wanders, do not try to change the thoughts or make them leave. Acknowledge their presence, allow them to be there, then allow them to go, returning your attention and focus to your breath and breathing. Spend up to two minutes doing this.
Extend your awareness to sensing your whole body breathing. Become aware of sensations throughout your body. If your mind wanders to various thoughts or feelings, acknowledge them and let them go and return your focus to sen1sing your whole body breathing. Spend about two mins doing this.
As you become more familiar with this skill of “letting go”, wherein you choose to notice but let go of thoughts, emotions or sensations, this is the ideal time to increase the time. Acknowledge and appreciate what you are doing, allowing yourself time to settle your mind, to breathe, to pay attention to you.
Attention is like a muscle and with regular exercise, a muscle works really well! Breathing meditation is the same – the more often you allow yourself time to do it, the easier it gets as the more skilled you become!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
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