1. What happened? (Describe the situation or trigger)
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2. What thoughts went through my mind?
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3. What did I feel? (You can rate intensity 0–10)
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4. What did I do? (My behaviour or reaction)
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5. What happened as a result? (Short- or long-term outcome)
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6. What could I do differently next time? (If anything)
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This tool is based on evidence from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which helps people notice and respond to the links between thoughts, emotions and behaviours.
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Website: www.carolinecrotty.ie
Talking Therapy in Cork city centre and online
1. What Helps Me Feel Calm When I’m Upset?
Soft textures (blankets, jumpers, etc.)
Warm tea or a hot water bottle
Nature sounds or calming music
Smelling something grounding (lavender, citrus)
Hugging a pet
Writing or doodling
Breathing exercises
Going outside
Telling someone how I feel
2. Which Senses Help Me Most?
Sight (lighting, colours, visual calm)
Touch (pressure, movement, softness)
Sound (music, quiet, white noise)
Smell (oils, candles, natural scents)
Taste (tea, chewing gum, something grounding)
3. My Personal Soothing List
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4. Emergency Toolkit – For Tough Days
I can remind myself: ____________________________
I can do this calming action: ______________________
I can call or message: ___________________________
I will NOT: ____________________________________
“The goal is not to avoid feeling overwhelmed but to notice, press pause and care for yourself in a kind and gentle way.”
📧 Email: hello@carolinecrotty.ie
🌐 Website: www.carolinecrotty.ie
📍 Therapy in Cork city centre and online
Do you find it easy to start things but difficult to stick with them? Whether it’s a report, a new routine, or a healthy habit, implementation intentions can help turn good intentions into consistent action. Implementation intentions are a psychological strategy designed to bridge the gap between goals and actions.
By creating clear if-then plans you can link specific cues (“if”) to intentional behaviours (“then”), making it easier to take consistent steps toward your objectives. Psychologist Dr Peter Gollwitzer developed the concept to help people follow through on their goals. Research shows implementation intentions can significantly increase success rates across a wide range of behaviours.
Pre-Deciding Actions: You eliminate the need to decide in the moment by linking a trigger to a pre-set action. This saves mental energy and helps you act automatically.
Triggering Immediate Action: The “if” acts as a cue to carry out the “then” behaviour which helps you spot the right moment to take action.
Creating Specificity: Clear plans reduce ambiguity. Instead of thinking, “Maybe I should start working on my report,” you now have a direct instruction: “If I open my laptop, then I will write the first paragraph of the report.”
1. Identify the Cue (“If”)
Choose something specific and regular – a time, place or event in your routine:
“If I sit at my desk, then I will open my notebook to plan my day.”
2. Define the Action (“Then”)
Pick a small, clear action directly linked to your goal:
3. Keep the Plan Realistic
Start small and manageable. Simplicity increases follow-through and builds momentum.
These small, specific actions can form the foundation of lasting habits.
By using “if-then” plans, you can simplify decisions, create structure and move from goals to action. Which small habit could you start today? Why not write one “if-then” plan now and see how powerful it can be.
Start now, start small. You’ve got this!
Contact Caroline for 1:1 support or to explore public talks or one:to:one therapy options.
Memories can be powerful. They shape who we are, provide lessons, and anchor us to moments of joy. But what happens when unpleasant memories hold us back from happiness? While it’s natural to dwell on challenging experiences, letting go is an art – something to be practised through practical techniques. Hereunder are 35 tips to release unpleasant memories and help you embrace happiness.
1. Reframe the Memory with a Narrative
Turn the unpleasant memory into a story of growth. Reflect on how it shaped your strengths or taught you resilience.
Gratitude isn’t just for good experiences. Thank the situation for the lessons it has taught you, shifting your focus from pain to growth.
Humour disarms pain. Laugh at the absurdity of the memory or create an exaggerated, comical version of the event.
When you walk through a door, mentally say, “I leave the past behind me.” This physical and mental cue helps compartmentalise and let go.
Imagine depositing your unpleasant memory in a mental “bank.” Withdraw it only when needed for reflection or learning.
Certain scents can ground you in the present and create positive associations, overwriting negative feelings.
Label the emotion the memory evokes—like anger or sadness—rather than focusing on the event. This creates emotional distance.
Write a list of negative experiences you’ve overcome. This tangible reminder of your resilience can shift your perspective.
Imagine your future self looking back at this moment with kindness, knowing it will feel less significant over time.
Holding a cold object, like an ice cube, can interrupt negative thought loops and anchor you in the present.
This question reframes your perspective, diminishing the event’s emotional intensity in the long term.
Reimagine the memory with an absurd or humorous twist to deflate its power over you.
Sing about the memory to a silly tune. This playful approach creates emotional distance and makes the memory less intimidating.
Choose an object to represent the memory. Bury, destroy, or throw it away as a symbolic act of release.
Think about how the unpleasant event indirectly contributed to positive changes or growth in your life.
Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it gently when you catch yourself dwelling on the memory, breaking the thought loop.
Imagine the memory is a scene in a film. Seeing it as an outsider helps reduce emotional attachment.
Write a letter to the memory as if it were a toxic relationship. Explain why you’re letting it go, then destroy the letter.
For every unpleasant memory, write a positive one and place it in a jar. Over time, the positive memories will outweigh the negative.
Picture the memory dissolving, like sand washing away in the ocean, as you focus on the present moment.
Visit a new place. Novel surroundings stimulate your brain to focus on the now rather than the past.
Before bed, visualise the memory but imagine a positive or absurd ending. This reshapes how your subconscious processes it.
Shift your energy by helping someone else. Kindness activates neural pathways for positive feelings and reduces personal distress.
Repeat the mantra: “It happened. I can’t change it, but I can choose how I carry it.” Acceptance helps you let go of resistance.
Paint, draw, or sculpt the memory. Externalizing it as art diminishes its emotional grip and lets you reframe it creatively.
Physically shake your body for 1–2 minutes, mimicking how animals release stress. This resets your nervous system.
Focus on small, positive experiences—like a warm breeze or a kind word. Research shows savoring micro-moments counteracts negativity.
Put together songs that inspire resilience. Sing, dance or maybe even cry to help process emotions.
Imagine the memory as a scared child. Offer it compassion and gently release it, acknowledging it no longer serves you.
Write down every unpleasant thought that resurfaces throughout the day. Externalising everything on paper reduces its emotional weight.
Learn a new skill, like knitting, cooking, or solving puzzles. Novel challenges shift focus and build new neural pathways
Picture yourself placing the memory on a leaf and watching it float downstream in a peaceful river.
Ask, “Does this thought serve me?” If not, visualise placing it in a mental “rubbish bin.”
Look in a mirror and say, “I deserve peace. The past cannot hurt me anymore.” Reinforcing this visually and audibly empowers release.
When a memory resurfaces, take ten slow, deep breaths. This creates a pause and allows emotions to settle.
Happiness often lies not in avoiding unpleasant memories but in learning how to process and release them. These tips offer a toolkit to help you whenver npleasant memories or worried thought sprint up. Whether through humour, visualisation, or symbolic acts, the key is to experiment with techniques that resonate with you.
Letting go is not about erasing the past, it’s about reclaiming your present and building a future rooted in peace and joy.
Looking for practical ways to let go?
Click here to download the printable worksheet: 35 Ways to Let Go
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