Stress is a natural part of being alive! In small doses, stress can motivate us to meet deadlines, solve problems, get assignments or projects in on time and to perform at our best. However, when stress becomes overwhelming or constant, it can start to affect our emotional, physical, and mental health, often without us even realising.
The key to managing stress is to notice the early warning signs before stress takes hold and grows into something more negative, such as burnout, or physical illness.
Feeling irritable, frustrated, or short-tempered
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension or upset tummy
Changes in sleep patterns – sleeping too much or struggling to fall or stay asleep
Withdrawal from friends, family or from our hobbies
Feeling overwhelmed by small challenges
Changes in appetite or comfort eating
Everyone experiences stress differently but these signs are important indicators that your body and mind are asking for support (or even screaming for help).
The earlier you spot the signs of stress, the easier it can be to take positive action.
Ignoring stress often leads to more difficult problems later, including health conditions, mental health difficulties and strained personal or professional relationships. Recognising your own signs of stress allows you to step in early, make adjustments and protect your wellbeing before reaching crisis point.
Shouting at children is often a sign that a parent is feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or emotionally dysregulated rather than a reflection of the child’s behaviour. Research suggests that frequent shouting can negatively impact a child’s emotional security and may increase behavioural problems over time. Instead of viewing shouting as a failure, it can be reframed as a signal that the parent needs support, rest, or strategies to regulate their reactions. Here’s a blog post about parenting and shouting.
Pause and breathe: Take slow, deep breaths to calm your nervous system. Learn to exhale for longer than you inhale.
Stay connected: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or colleagues.
Move your body: Gentle exercise like walking, yoga, or stretching helps to release tension. Increase your heartrate through cardio or resistance training – get your blood pumping!
Prioritise rest: Make sleep and downtime non-negotiable – every day!
Set small, achievable goals: Focus on one thing at a time to reduce feelings of overwhelm, once completed, acknowledge that success/win.
Seek support if needed: Talking to a therapist or GP can provide invaluable support and perspective.
Stress is not something we can eliminate completely, it is part of being alive and living. However, stress is something we can learn to manage. By paying attention to early warning signs and responding with care and compassion to ourselves, we can protect our health and wellbeing.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or struggling to manage stress, you are not alone.
Support is available and taking the first step towards support can make all the difference.
Caroline Crotty is a counsellor and psychotherapist based in Cork city who works with people and with organisations to promote mental health and wellbeing. Caroline delivers public talks, workshops, and corporate sessions focused on managing stress, developing resilience and building positive habits. If you would like support for yourself or your organisation, you are welcome to get in touch here.
Panic attacks are sudden episodes of intense fear or discomfort, often accompanied by physical symptoms such as a racing heart, chest pain, dizziness, and difficulty breathing. These episodes can feel frightening and overwhelming but they are treatable and manageable.
As a Cork-based psychotherapist, I’ve worked with many people who experience panic attacks. The good news is that, with the right tools and understanding, panic attacks can become much less disruptive over time.
Panic attacks occur when the body’s fight-or-flight system is triggered sometimes without any apparent danger. This response is governed by the autonomic nervous system.
Triggers can include:
Ongoing stress
Past trauma
Poor sleep
Excess caffeine
Unhelpful thinking patterns
Understanding the physiological basis of a panic attack can make it feel less frightening. Your body is trying to protect you but the alarm is misfiring – like fire brigade turning up at your home but you’ve just burned the toast!
How to Know It’s a Panic Attack
t’s important to rule out medical causes. If symptoms are new or unusual, always check in with your GP.
Common signs of a panic attack include:
Rapid or pounding heart
Dizziness or feeling faint
Sweating or chills
Chest tightness
Feeling detached or unreal
A sense of doom or fear of dying
These techniques may not stop the panic immediately, but they can reduce the intensity and help you move through the experience safely.
Remind yourself: “This is a panic attack. It will pass. I am safe.”
Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique:
Inhale for 4 seconds
Hold your breath for 7 seconds
Exhale slowly for 8 seconds
Repeat 4 times
This helps calm your nervous system and re-centre your body.
Use your senses to bring yourself back to the present.
Name:
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
Ask yourself:
“Is there real danger here?”
“Have I felt this way before and come through it?”
“Is this worried thought a fact or is it a feeling?”
Gentle movement even standing, walking, or stretching can help regulate your nervous system. If possible, change your environment or step away from the trigger. Doing something else, however small, can help shift your focus.
If you regularly experience panic attacks, counselling or psychotherapy can be helpful. A trained professional can work with you to explore the triggers, thoughts and experiences that may underlie your anxiety and help you develop tools to feel more in control.
I’m Caroline Crotty, a qualified counsellor and psychotherapist based here in Cork city. If panic attacks or anxiety are impacting your life, please don’t hesitate to contact me. You’re not alone and support is available.
Email me: hello@carolinecrotty.ie
Text or call me: 0877107032
Website: www.carolinecrotty.ie
1. Why am I seeking therapy? (Tick any that apply)
Anxiety or panic
Low mood or depression
Relationship issues
Loss, grief or trauma
Stress or burnout
Identity, sexuality, or self-esteem
I’m not sure — I just know I need support
2. What am I hoping will happen in therapy?
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
3. What kind of therapist do I think I’d work best with?
Someone warm and chatty
Someone calm and reflective
Someone who challenges me
Someone who gives structure and homework
I’m not sure — I’m open
4. Questions to ask a therapist or psychologist:
5. Am I ready for therapy?
I’m open to talking about difficult feelings
I understand therapy is a process, not a quick fix
I’m willing to show up consistently
Still not sure? Sometimes the first step is just a conversation.
Email: hello@carolinecrotty.ie
Website: www.carolinecrotty.ie
Therapy available in Cork city centre and online
I was recently discussing ‘burnout,’ and the person I was speaking with mentioned that the term seems to be used far too loosely these days. He observed that people say they’re experiencing burnout when busy at work or feeling worn out after Christmas parties. This casual use of the term caught my attention because, in my practice, I use ‘burnout’ in a clinical sense. When people come to me with burnout, they’re often signed off work by their GP and face a long and challenging road to recovery. While it’s valuable that awareness of stress is increasing, it’s crucial to recognise that true clinical burnout is far more serious than general exhaustion.
Burnout is a medical and clinical condition with serious implications for mental and physical health. Clinical burnout, as defined by the World Health Organisation (WHO), is a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterised by three core features: persistent feelings of emotional and physical exhaustion, a sense of detachment or cynicism towards one’s job and a reduced ability to perform effectively. Unlike general fatigue, clinical burnout develops over time and does not simply disappear after a good night’s sleep or a short break. It requires careful attention and often structured intervention to address.
Although the term ‘burnout’ is now used rather casually to describe being overworked or tired, these experiences don’t align with the clinical definition. While the casual use of the term reflects a growing awareness of stress, it can dilute the seriousness of burnout. This overuse may make it harder for people experiencing clinical burnout to be recognised and supported. Importantly, burnout in its clinical sense is not a sign of personal weakness or failure but rather the result of systemic issues such as chronic stress, excessive workloads, lack of support and environments that fail to prioritise employee well-being.
Clinical burnout develops when workplace stress becomes unmanageable and unrelenting. It often arises in environments with excessive demands, little autonomy, inadequate support, or a mismatch between personal values and organisational culture. These factors combine over time, eroding resilience and making recovery increasingly difficult. Unlike occasional stress, which can sometimes be motivating, burnout represents a prolonged and harmful state that affects both mental and physical health.
The symptoms of burnout are far-reaching and can impact every aspect of everyday life. Emotionally, people may feel drained, irritable or even hopeless. Cognitively, people may struggle to focus or with decision-making or memory, which can add to feelings of frustration. Physically, symptoms such as chronic fatigue, headaches and sleep disturbances often emerge. Behaviourally, people may withdraw from social connections, procrastinate, or avoid responsibilities altogether. Burnout can profoundly affect relationships and self-esteem, leading to feelings of failure and disconnection from others.
Addressing burnout requires a multifaceted approach that includes both individual and systemic changes. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore the underlying issues contributing to burnout, develop coping mechanisms, and rebuild resilience. Rest and recovery are essential because burnout cannot be resolved by simply pushing through it – people need time, space, and patience to heal. Systemic workplace adjustments are often necessary, including reducing excessive demands, establishing clear boundaries, and fostering supportive environments. Self-care practices such as mindfulness, regular exercise and reconnecting with activities that bring joy can also play a crucial role in recovery.
Burnout is not a reflection of personal failure. It’s a complex response to prolonged, unrelenting stress, often shaped by factors outside of individual control. Understanding burnout means recognising its key symptoms: emotional exhaustion, detachment, and a reduced sense of accomplishment. These aren’t signs of weakness but signals from your body and mind that your current demands exceed your resources.
Addressing burnout starts with self-awareness and support. Prioritising emotional and mental health isn’t just self-care—it’s a fundamental necessity for thriving. This might mean setting boundaries, seeking workplace accommodations, or rethinking unsustainable systems in your life. However, proper recovery also requires systemic change. Organisations and communities must create environments where wellbeing is central, not optional.
If you or someone you know is experiencing burnout, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide guidance, validation and strategies for recovery. You don’t have to face it alone – healing and recovery are possible, and your well-being is worth the effort.
For further information, here’s a handy guide to an NHS booklet about Burnout
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Christmas in Ireland is steeped in tradition, from lights in the window, Midnight mass, festive gatherings, turkey and ham, sea swimming, holly boughs and wrapped presents. However, the season can also bring pressures such as expectations to overindulge, spend excessively, or navigate challenging family dynamics. Here are tips to help you embrace a meaningful Christmas that aligns with your needs and values.
Take time to consider what Christmas means to you. Whether it’s a time for connection, rest, or marking the end of the year, focus on the traditions and activities that bring you joy. Whether you enjoy decorating, cooking a favourite meal, or simply reflecting on the year gone by, choose what feels meaningful and let go of the rest.
Family gatherings can bring warmth but may also raise tensions. Set boundaries ahead of time: decide how long you’ll stay and what topics you’d prefer to avoid. If it feels overwhelming, it’s okay to opt out. Prioritise your well-being and, where possible, suggest neutral activities like a walk to keep interactions light and positive.
Alcohol often plays a central role in celebrations, but it’s important to drink with intention. Know your limits, and don’t feel pressured to keep pace with others. Mocktails or non-alcoholic options are perfectly valid choices. A simple, “I’m not drinking tonight,” can be empowering.
Gift-giving is a lovely tradition, but it can be stressful and costly. Set a budget, suggest Secret Santa, or focus on shared experiences rather than material gifts. Thoughtful gestures like a handmade card or a meaningful note often mean far more than expensive presents.
You don’t need to pack your schedule with constant socialising. If you need rest, allow yourself to take it. A quiet day reading, walking in nature, or watching a favourite movie can be fulfilling. If you’re alone, a video call or message to a friend can create an important sense of connection.
The holidays can be difficult, particularly for those grieving a loved one or reflecting on a tough year. Allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment. Small acts of gratitude, like appreciating a warm meal or a quiet moment, can provide comfort. If you’re struggling, reach out to someone you trust or contact a professional for support.
Christmas doesn’t have to follow a rigid plan. If things don’t go as expected, adapt and let go of perfection. Traditions can evolve! Start new ones that suit your current needs or modify old ones to bring you joy.
Giving to others can add a deeper sense of purpose to the season. Volunteer locally, donate to a cause, or help a neighbour in need. Simple acts of kindness like leaving a note or buying someone a coffee can spread joy and help you feel connected.
If the season feels overwhelming, step outside. A walk in the fresh air, a quiet moment in nature, or bringing greenery indoors can reset your mind and create a calming festive atmosphere.
Set a clear budget and stick to it. Avoid last-minute spending or overcommitting to events with added costs. Be honest about your limits – Christmas is about meaningful moments, not excessive spending.
Take time to celebrate the wins, big or small, from the year gone by. Acknowledge your challenges, and set intentions for the year ahead that align with what matters most to you.
Christmas doesn’t need to look a certain way to be meaningful. By focusing on what aligns with your values, setting boundaries, and taking care of your mental health, you can create a celebration that feels authentic and joyful. Whether it’s spent with family, in quiet reflection, or giving back to your community, the best Christmas is one that nourishes and uplifts you!
Based in the heart of Cork city, I offer both online psychotherapy and in-person (or face-to-face) appointments. Combining both approaches provides benefits for people seeking mental health support.
Here are some benefits of combining online psychotherapy and in-person appointments:
Increased flexibility: Online psychotherapy or counselling appointments can be attended from the comfort of home or wherever there is internet access. This is particularly helpful when people have busy schedules, mobility issues, or live in remote areas. On the other hand, in-person sessions offer the benefit of face-to-face interaction, sitting in the same room as the therapist and for some that can feel more personal.
Improved accessibility: Online psychotherapy sessions can be accessed from anywhere worldwide, which is especially helpful for people living in areas without mental health services. In-person appointments, on the other hand, can offer the opportunity to build a close rapport with the therapist and can be especially helpful for people who favour face-to-face communication.
Enhanced privacy: Online therapy sessions can provide an added layer of privacy and confidentiality for anyone who may feel uncomfortable with face-to-face interactions or feel self-conscious attending a clinic for counselling or psychotherapy. In-person sessions provide a private and confidential environment, free from the distractions of the home environment where a housemate or family member may overhear.
Customised treatment plans: Combining online and in-person counselling can allow for a customised treatment plan, tailored to suit individual needs e.g. weekly online sessions with a monthly in-person session, or vice versa.
Increased continuity of care: By combining online and in-person appointments, people have a consistent level of care, even when travelling for work or following a move to a new location. Having online appointments available wherever you are, provides peace of mind and reduces the stress of seeking new mental health services or trying to locate a new therapist.
In summary, combining online and in-person counselling and psychotherapy can be beneficial. The flexibility that online sessions provide suits some whilst the personal contact provided by face to face appointments suits others.
If you’re interested in learning more about Caroline Crotty’s online or in-person therapy services in Cork city, please don’t hesitate to make contact.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
How to Prevent Arguments at Home: Practical Tips for Calmer Conversations
Arguments at home can be draining and unproductive. Learn practical ways to prevent conflict, improve communication, and build understanding with loved ones.
Tips on what to do (particularly in our homes) to avoid arguments
While we are in contact with others, we will have differences of opinion. We might simply want to explain our point of view but sometimes those conversations, where we voice our opinions, turn into disagreements which can then progress into arguments. Arguments are often laden with personal insults, raised voices and verbal attacks and, instead of sorting out a difficulty, arguments add to it.
People ask how to move past or get over arguments and, in my experience, it would be best if we never argued because neither party feels good after an argument.
It is a fact of life that we will disagree with others at certain points in our lives but how we air that disagreement is key. There is no need for a verbal assault when we do not agree with someone especially about simple things like what to have for dinner or what programme to watch on tv. In fact there is never any need for a verbal assault.
When disagreements lead to conflict, it is time to examine how to improve our communication skills. Do not get caught up in the heat of the moment, remain calm and relaxed because your thinking will remain clear. If a discussion is beginning to turn into an argument, do not let it become personal.
Keep blame out of the conversation by learning to use “I Statements” which have a profoundly positive impact on all our communication because they instantly remove blame (or verbal finger pointing).
The I Statement format is “I feel X when Y because Z”.
Instead of saying “You drive me crazy because you never listen to me or what I am trying to tell you”, try “I feel frustrated when I am not heard because what I have to say is important to me.”
“You never clean up after yourself and I’ve spent the day tidying. You never lift a finger, you are so inconsiderate.” or “I feel disappointed there’s dirty ware in the sink because I spent a long time tidying and I am delighted when I have help in the kitchen” – see the difference? You are changing from accusatory to making a statement about how you feel about the situation.
If you think your conversation is getting emotional or heated, simply take time out. It is vital to explain, ahead of time, that the new course of action in your household is that you are removing yourself until you are relaxed. Explain that you are not ignoring the topic or the person because silence can be abusive. Later that day or when the time is right, sort out the difficulty and resolve differences of opinion through conversation. You can explain rather than express (rather than bang doors or go silent, simply chat).
Another point worthy of note is when we are desperately trying to get our point or opinion across, we actually forget to listen and hear what is being said. Before you respond to someone, you could try restating what has been said using your own words. This is called ‘reflective listening’ and is regularly used in therapy to demonstrate what a person is saying is being heard. Reflect back what you are hearing and then calmly share your opinion. When you use this technique, you and your family member will each reflect ideas, back and forth and you will feel understood and heard, even if you disagree.
Finding common ground and a resolution is important. We know disagreements take place and if you cannot agree, try to work towards finding the best resolution for you both – it is not enough to say – “…because I said so” instead ask “how can we compromise on this?”
Ask yourself whether any type of argument is really worth the hassle? It takes two to argue but only one to stop. Remember to always ask yourself “Will this matter in five years’ time?”
Ask yourself if you are trying to prove or demonstrate that you are right about something. If you are right, then invariably, someone else is wrong. Why is it important to you to prove that someone else wrong? Find a way to let it go.
Need support with relationship communication?
I offer one-to-one therapy sessions in Cork and online. If you’d like help navigating conflict, managing anxiety, or improving communication at home, feel free to contact me:
hello@carolinecrotty.ie
Call or text 087 710 7032
Caroline Crotty Counselling & Psychotherapy Limited - 636306 - Suite 7, Block A, South Terrace Medical Centre, Infirmary Road, Cork T12 WF40
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