54321 Task

The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Grounding Task

When learning how to remain in the present moment it can help to give our minds a job.

Despite thinking that we are good at multi-tasking, we are at our best when we concentrate on one thing at a time – either we worry or think about something else! This task is to help us “think about something else” rather than worrying.

The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 grounding technique is a useful task. It can prevent us from getting caught-up in racing or panicky thoughts which can create anxious feelings in our bodies.

The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 task can help us remain calm, focused and grounded in the present.

Instead of getting caught up in fearful thoughts or horrible anxious feelings, this task requires us to take notice of what is around us and concentrate on our senses.

Sight, Touch, Hearing, Smell and Taste – these are the five senses that we concentrate on that will help us stay focused.

Look around you. What are 5 things that you can see. Describe them to yourself in the most graphic and amazing detail that you can manage. What colours do you see on those objects? What patterns, inscriptions, engraving, size or weight do they have? If you were to describe these five things to someone without using the objects’ names, how would you do it?

Now look for 4 things you can feel and describe them to yourself. This might involve feeling your clothes as they touch your skin or the feeling of your bottom and back as you sit on your chair. Perhaps you can feel your skin on the palm of your hand with the finger from your other hand. Can you pick up something and hold it? Describe those four things to yourself in detail.

Listen very closely. What 3 things can you hear? Is there something in the distance making noise, say a clock ticking or traffic or the wind or music or the rattle of a door?

Are there 2 things that you can smell? There may be perfume or aftershave on your clothes. Can you smell food in the air or any other scents?

Is there something you can taste? Is there already a taste in your mouth? It might be coffee or toothpaste or maybe you can see something you could taste. You might have a sweet in your bag or chewing-gum. If you taste something, pay close attention to the flavour.

The above 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique is a handy task for times when you may feel nervous such as at the airport, church, family gathering, doctor’s or dentist’s waiting room etc. The task will help to ground you and prevent you from getting caught up in fearful thoughts.

Ground yourself by concentrating on your senses. It doesn’t matter whether you think of 5 things to smell or 4 things you can hear i.e. the order in which you think about your senses is unimportant.

www.carolinecrotty.ie

Improve your relationship

Improve your relationship with you!

I remember reading the question “with whom will you have the longest relationship?” I thought “well, if I’m fortunate, it will be with my parents or my siblings”. I was wrong. The answer is very different.

The longest and most important relationship you will ever have is with YOU. The better the relationship you develop with you, the better it is, not only for you, but also for everyone around you. When we are happy and content within our own skin, we are easier to get along with because the positivity radiates outwards from us.

How can you improve your relationship with you? It’s not as difficult as it might at first seem. Start small and build over time. Remember the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. In fact, every accomplishment the world over began with someone deciding to give whatever it is a try.

Gratitude is a topic I often mention. Every night before you sleep write down three things that you appreciate about you with a pen and paper! It might be that you have good health or have children, or live in a quiet/busy area. These do not have to be earth-shattering big deals. You could write that you appreciate being a kind person, that you waved at a neighbour when you spotted him in the street or that you groomed your dog. Learn to appreciate the little things in every day. If you’re feeling stuck, appreciate having the freedom to leave your house if you so desire – at least we are not in prison!

Filtering is important to feeling good about you. If you have negative people in your life who are always complaining, try to filter out their negativity and tune them out – don’t get sucked in!

A wonderful approach to life is to learn to minimise complaints and criticisms. When you adopt that stance, you will no longer feel the need to judge or gossip. Sometimes at various points in our lives, listening to news-reports can be quite upsetting. If you don’t want to listen to or watch the news then don’t! Turn it off. Filter it out.

Reframe simply means to think differently, to spot unhelpful thoughts and replace them with more positive or helpful ones. Challenge your thoughts and the wording you use if its negative. Try to keep in mind how you would speak to someone else. You would probably be softer in your tone and approach than you are towards yourself when you get something wrong. Be gentle and kind to you. Ask yourself, “what advice would I give someone else about this situation?” then take your own advice.

You make mistakes just the same as the next person – because you are human! Remind yourself that you are not perfect but you are good enough.

More on being good enough here https://carolinecrotty.ie/being-good-enough/

www.carolinecrotty.ie

How to be Happy I

How to be Happy Part 1

Do you know someone who is happy? Perhaps you are that happy person. What ‘happy’ means to me may differ to how you would define it. There are possibly as many definitions of ‘happiness’ as there are people.

Various factors impact and contribute to our overall sense of happiness from involvement in our communities to celebrations, weather, finances, family etc. I don’t have enough space here to examine influences on or definitions of happiness but in my experience, everyone wants to be happy.

Ask yourself ‘Do I want to be happy? If the answer is ‘yes’ put a plan of action into place. We all know that life is not fair but being happy requires an investment of your time and effort because happy people work at being happy.

If you want to be happy follow these tips:

Accept yourself completely – just as you are AND accept your reality. This means you accept your family, house, appearance, birthplace, strengths/limitations, history etc. Acceptance is the key to happiness. (This is not easy but it is vital).

Learn something new – how to put up a shelf, knit, sew, bake a sponge cake – keep your brain active with new knowledge and skills.

Forgive yourself for mistakes you have made. Forgive others for theirs. Let go of resentments – it is difficult to be happy with a heavy heart.

Engage in activities. Start a new hobby such as yoga or Bridge. Join a club or start one e.g. a book club or dinner club with your neighbours/friends.

Spend time with people that make you feel good, ideally positive people. Avoid people who stress you out or drain your energies.

Have a sense of purpose. Happy people have something to do or somewhere to go (even if it is just to the shop for milk).

Do things you are good at, that you enjoy, that are fun or make you feel good. Do them often.

Say NO. If you don’t want to do something don’t do it. If you do, then do so without complaint.

Acknowledge that you are not responsible for other people’s reactions, you are only responsible for yours.

Find your voice and say when you are unhappy about something. (Say I feel x when y because z)

Nurture a loving relationship with YOU. Happy people give themselves breaks and let themselves off the hook. They learn how to relax and how to manage anxieties/stresses.

Set short-term achievable goals. Don’t set yourself up for failure by setting unattainable goals! Set a goal, achieve it, acknowledge the achievement then set new goals!

Invest time in others. Make time for your partner, children, friends, neighbours or strangers.

Watch your language. I don’t mean swear words I mean self-talk. Say only positive things and use only positive words particularly when talking about you.

Help others because it makes us feel happy. Help willingly. Volunteer in your community or to do something nice for a neighbour.

Your brain believes you must be happy if you are smiling, it immediately raises your mood. Smiles are contagious.

Treat your body as well as you can. Eat well, hydrate, keep moving and breathe slowly.

Be kind and gentle, forgiving and compassionate with YOU and others.