Here is a list of things we can do online while we remain indoors. Help is at hand during Covid-19. Here is a list of resources from school learning to listening to jazz to online courses and there’s something for everyone.
Alison offers free online courses
Academy4sc provides free videos for youngsters (and adults) on topics such as psychology, philosophy and economics
Audible is providing service free during the lock in.
Bring Bach into your home with BackTrack music.
BBC Sounds provides a variety of podcasts, radio, music.
Berliner Philharmonic Orchestra free for 30 days for you to enjoy concerts and documentaries.
Cambridge Library access to books until 1st May 2020.
Calm provides access to free mindfulness resources.
Coursera provide free online courses.
Own your own goals with Davina is free of charge for 30 days – fitness, nutrition and wellbeing.
Downdog yoga app is free until 1st May 2020.
eCollege are offering free courses during the pandemic.
edex provide free online courses.
Everyman Theatre Cork has put together a wonderful list of resources including supports for artistes as well as all forms of art, theatre from your home, music, film, opera and links for children and adults.
Learn how to play that instrument you’ve been wanting to learn with Fender Play
Future Learn provide free online courses and Trinity has courses there too.
GROW‘s six week guide to coping with the pandemic or join a weekly online support meeting.
Learn through Harvard’s online programme includes some free courses.
Headspace is providing free resources to mind your mental health at this time.
Free Piano lessons to anyone who wants to learn at home with Home School Piano
ITunesu from Apple provides free educational courses
Tech leaders are joining together using Leaders of Tech on line.
Libraries are providing free resources.
Library for third level students.
Mary Imaculate College has provided ebooks and educational content.
50 jazz concerts to stream into your home with the Montreux Jazz Festival.
Open University Library and Open University free Courses
Open Space College / Text books from calculus to physics!
RealPython are providing free lifetime video courses.
Bring a dance performance into your sitting room with Sadler Wells entertainment.
Netflix is free to users for the first month as is Scribd which offers the first 30 days free of charge.
TedEd provides films on a variety of subjects to watch on line and provides questions to answer to test our knowledge.
A large number of online resources are available through ecampus Ontario.
Minding your mental health during COVID-19 – Things you can do to mind your mental health during COVID-19
Suicide or Survive are providing free online wellness workshop and you matter workshop.
Volunteer Ireland Finding a Volunteer Role
David Walliams releases a story every morning at 11.00am for children (and adults!).
Your Mental Health online information and supports.
American list of online tools for all the time not just Covid-19.
Make any room a classroom with Brainpop
CJ Fallon are providing free access to school books until start of term time.
Edco free learning passes for a few weeks for Primary, Junior and Senior Cycle pupils.
Faber are providing children’s teaching resources.
Folens open access to online resources for primary and post-primary students.
With Idea learn vital skills for work life once school is over.
Maths and Science video lessons from MIT
Twinkl free online educational resources during Covid-19.
Children’s Online resources article from 104fm.
List of online resources for the pandemic from TheJournal,ie
Read at home with StoryWeaver
Stay safe, stay healthy and stay two meters apart!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
HSE list of mental health services is available by clicking here
Covid-19 Helplines exist to support you in these very unprecedented times. Please click on the links which will bring you to the organisation’s website address. This list will be updated.
Alone 0818 222 024 Open 8am-8pm for people who have concerns relating to the Coronavirus
Aware are operating freephone support line available to adults seeking support re depression or bipolar disorder. 1800 804 848 (7 days p.w. 10am-10pm)
Barnardos have launched a dedicated telephone and email support service to provide advice to parents on a wide range of issues that may have come up during this time. If you or someone you know needs extra parental support phone 1800 910 123 between 10am-2pm Monday to Friday or email parentsupport@barnardos.ie
Bodywhys offer email and online support groups. Eating Disorders Association of Ireland 01 2107906
Local Authority help especially for people who are cocooning or isolated 0818 222024 Community Support
Domestic Violence There are domestic violence helplines for every county click here to find yours.
FLAC Contact 1890 350 250 or 01 874 5690 if you have a legal query. This free legal advice centre helpline is open Monday to Friday 9.30am-1pm and 2pm-5pm
Helplink Online Counselling – mental health charity providing accessible services in west of Ireland and nationally. 091 759887
HSE Covid-19 infomation line 1850 241850
Jigsaw provide online services such as “Ask Jigsaw” and “Jigsaw Online Group Chats”. National Centre of Youth Mental Health.
MABS 0751 072000 advice service for money management and debt issues open Monday to Friday 09.00 to 20.00
Online meetings available through GROW, where face-to-face groups are not available – mental health recovery charity.
Pieta provides free therapy to those engaging in self-harm, at risk of suicide or bereaved by suicide. 24/7 freephone supports and text support services 1800 247 247 OR text HELP to 51444 Pieta House
Rape Crisis Centres throughout Ireland to find your local centre click here 24 Hour Helpline on 1800 778888
Samaritans 116123 helpline is free open day and night.
Senior Line 1800 804 591 confidential free-phone listening service open every day from 10am-10pm
Sexual Violence Centre Cork helpline 1800 496 496 and text service 087 153 3393 are operating as normal.
SpunOut.ie is Ireland’s youth information website created by young people, for young people. 24/7 help is available. Text SPUNOUT to 0861800280 to chat anonymously with a trained volunteer.
Threshold 1800 454 454 if you are renting and worried about the security of your tenure during the pandemic helpline open Monday to Friday 09.00 to 21.00
TravelWise 01 613 1733 Dept of Foreign Affairs helpline for people with travel related concerns about Coronavirus
Traveller hotline Phone or Text 0831006300 dealing with Coronavirus (Covid-19) queries. This has been organised by the Traveller organisations in the Midlands with the support of the HSE Midlands Traveller Health Unit for use by all counties.
Travellers and Ethnic Minority Info
Women’s Aid 24 Hour Helpline 1800 341 900
Your Mental Health provide information on mental health services 1800 111 888 (not a counselling service).
HELP IS AT HAND.
If you need help please reach out and tell someone you know or perhaps someone you don’t by know using a helpline. Covid-19 Helplines are here to help you. We all need connection to keep us going and to keep us hopeful.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
There is a wealth of Covid-19 information on line, however, there is also much misinformation. The following sites provide real and factual information – click on the links hereunder.
An Garda Síochana National Website
Action Plan to support the community response
HSE & Pregnancy
The Irish Family Planning Association (IFPA) is Ireland’s leading sexual health provider. We provide contraception, pregnancy counselling, abortion care, sexual and reproductive health services and training.
An Post Updates Post Offices and Financial Services
Information for employees & the self-employed Information for employers
Apply for the Covid-19 pandemic unemployment payment
Apply for Illness Benefit for Covid – 19 absences
Gov.ie Direct Payment to a Financial Institution Application Form
Saint Vincent de Paul Arrangements for Energy Customers during Covid 19 Restrictions
An Post Temporary Agent Application Form for When a claimant is unable to attend the Post office
RTE news report 16.03.2020 – Revenue defer payment of local property tax
If you need help please tell someone, reach out to someone you know or someone you don’t know. We need connection to keep us going and to keep us hopeful.
There is a list of Covid-19 Helplines here
www.carolinecrotty.ie
And with anxiety, comes self-doubt. “What if I get a panic attack when I’m in the supermarket?”. We might try to visualise what could happen if we start to feel anxious in a public place? What will I do if I feel anxious at the hair salon or in a queue for a gig? Racing thoughts come with racing questions “What if I feel unwell?” “What if I faint?” “What will I do if I’m dizzy?” and, before you know it, you’ve worked yourself up into a frenzy of horrible thoughts accompanied by horrible anxious feelings and there is no sense of calm about anything. Sometimes the whole world can seem unsafe and scary.
Hot summers often render people feeling anxious. If I associate being hot and sweaty with feeling anxious then a hot summer is bound to be tough because your brain (and body) are trying to figure out what the heat means!
Our thoughts are crucial to how we feel. When we start thinking of worst case scenarios like not being able to cope when we are down the hair salon, the world can become frightening. We might become a little nervous about going too far away from home – just in case we need to come home in a hurry if we are not feeling great. Home is where we feel calm. Home is a “safe place” and sometimes when we are very anxious feeling that we are too far away from home, can mean that anxious feelings and anxious thoughts take over.
We might be nervous that anxious feelings might strike because we are away from home. This often leads to people not enjoying or living life to its full because they are nervous about feeling anxious in a public place.
Being fearful of fearful feelings. But, think about this – our bodies do not know where we are. If we were unconscious or under general anaesthetic, our bodies could be in Barcelona or Bantry and we wouldn’t know! Often, therefore, our thoughts contribute to our symptoms and feelings of anxiety.
When we have several thoughts or worries at once, that can signal our bodies to react. If our mind is focused on stressful thoughts, or on too many things at once, or panicking about potentially feeling panicky, anxiety levels in our body can increase and remain high.
Learning how to focus our thoughts on something calm/ or peaceful can help us feel calm and able to manage our anxieties more effectively. Rather than letting our minds wander off with worst case scenarios, we can focus on our breath.
Our breath is a great point of focus.
Focusing attention on breath and breathing can reduce the anxiety response in our body and help us remain calm and in control.
Everyone can learn how to focus on breath and breathing whenever we feel that we are getting a little anxious. That is very powerful – to be able to control how we feel simply with our breath. I find this fascinating and encourage everyone I know (everyone who will listen to me that is) to practice calm / deep breathing because, in my experience, it is life-changing.
Focusing on breathing can help us stop focusing on anxious thoughts. We can learn how to slow down our breath, helping us stay calm.
Most often, our anxious thoughts and busy lifestyles mean that we breathe as if we are only using the upper parts of our respiratory system. This is an overly simplistic way of explaining this but the reality is that as adults, we rarely breathe so deeply that our tummies move. We might even hold our breath without realising it. Newborn babies breathe with their tummies rising and falling, however, as adults we rarely do.
Calm/Deep breathing increasees the volume of breath that enters our lungs. Calm / Deep breathing helps alleviate anxiety by slowing down our heart rate, relaxing our muscles and allowing us the opportunty to think more rationally and clearly.
So how do we breathe deeply?
Sit or lie down comfortably. Close your eyes. Place one hand on your tummy which will help you feel your tummy rise. Place your other hand on your chest or heart. Imagine a round balloon in your tummy with the opening at the top, close to your lungs. Inhale. Imagine your breath filling that balloon. As you inhale, your tummy will rise. Think about your breath filling your lungs from the bottom up (in the same way that an empty bottle fills with water from the bottom up). When you are ready to exhale, allow the air out of your body from the bottom up, emptying the balloon first, then your lungs and upper chest. Repeat this until it feels comfortable.
Initially, deep/calm breathing can feel a little weird and you might even begin to feel anxious. This is perfectly normal and it happens because you are not accustomed to breathing in this way and your body/mind are trying to figure out what’s going on.
The more often you practice this new skill, the more familiar it becomes. Take your time, practice calm/deep breathing when you are at your most relaxed so that you will be able to use it when you are not relaxed. Inhale through your nose. Exhale through either nose or mouth particularly as you are learning how to do this.
Anxiety tips: Tell someone you trust about how you feel. Sharing a problem and worry can give you perspective. Don’t face your worries alone. Counselling, psychotherapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be effective for treating anxiety symptoms / anxiety disorders. Eat well and regularly. Reduce caffeine and alcohol and cigarettes. Exercise: anything that increases your heart-rate and gets you sweaty helps alleviate anxiety!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
You might make your New Year’s resolution to listen to music you enjoyed when you were young or if you are young, listen to music that makes you feel good! Music has a profound impact on our brains and can transport us back in time, help us feel relaxed or work-out more productively. Music is so powerful it can help reduce pain and alter our mood. So crank up the choons!
To make healthy changes in the New Year we must rethink busy schedules. Finding time might be difficult, but ten minutes of non-stop walking three times a day is achievable. Every minute you move is invaluable. Exercise improves our overall wellbeing and quality of life. To improve our heart health, we need about 2.5 hours weekly, of moderate-intensity physical activity. Moderate-intensity activity increases heart-rate, gets us sweaty and causes us to breathe more quickly – which is also perfect for helping to alleviate the physical symptoms of anxiety – exercise is win/win and here’s a link to 10 minute workouts.
There are a multitude of benefits to exercise – it improves mood and self-confidence and feelings of anxiety and depression; exercise builds muscle and strengthens bones. Exercise can increase energy levels and improve brain function. It helps improve sleep and pain management. Exercise is the best demonstrated way to maintain health, fitness and youth. Here’s a link to a similar article I wrote on LinkedIn Get Moving in 2019
Developing gratitude for the little things in life impacts our long-term happiness. The act of forcing yourself to think of events or you in a positive light or thinking of reasons to be grateful (no matter how small) or counting your blessings is beneficial for your brain and for your mood. The more you do it, the easier it becomes until eventually gratitude becomes an integral part of your life. Perhaps, set a new year’s resolution to write three things every day for which you are grateful regardless of how insignificant these things may seem. Today I am grateful for x, y or z. Over time you will see that every day is a good day – we have somewhere to sleep, human connection, food, work, liberty, sight, hearing, health, ability to exercise etc.
What else can we do in 2019 to improve our lives? Spending time in nature is therapeutic and has several health benefits. Being outdoors can put a spring in your step because nature is known to be restorative. Get outside as often as possible. Climb that mountain! Don’t forget that daylight also helps improve our sleep – a healthy new year’s resolution might be to spend time getting your sleep routine in order.
Keep your brain active and learn something new – take up yoga or meditation or learn how to calm breathe. Read more. Make a to-do list and get productive so you can cross things off that list. Disconnect from technology. Spend more time alone particularly if you have a stressful job. Keep a journal. Don’t complain, take action.
Join a group or club where you get to hang out with like-minded people. We need to be with others. When you least feel like meeting people may be when you most need to be in teh company of others. Reach out. Make contact. Meet a friend for a coffee or a walk. Have someone in your life that will listen and hear you and if you already have that person in your family or friend group – that’s fantastic. If you need support or advice – ask for it. Contact a professional Counsellor or Psychotherapist who will be happy to help or to point you in the direction of supports.
Maybe this year make your new year’s resolution to tell the people who are important to you just how much they mean to you and spend more time with them. When talking to yourself be an optimist not a pesimist. Be nice, kind and gentle to you and to others and that’s appropriate for every time of the year!
Whatever New Year’s Resolution you embark upon, I would like to wish you the very best for 2019.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Caroline Crotty Counselling & Psychotherapy Limited
Christmas is almost here! Some of us will be thrilled with this and some of us, less so. Christmas can be a time of great joy or huge stress (or both)! Christmas can be a difficult time, particularly when it is the first Christmas without a loved one or when there has been a change to the family composition. Every first is tough following a life change so aim to do things at your own pace and remember to be kind to you.
Here are some “dos and don’ts” for Christmas 2018.
Don’t overdo it and exhaust yourself – remember to make time for breaks, rest and relaxation.
Don’t try to do everything yourself – delegate and ask for help.
Don’t rush. Slow down; taste, smell, enjoy and savour every moment.
Don’t assume everyone shares your expectations for Christmas. Respect that others may not have the same plans or traditions (‘each to their own’).
Don’t drink too much alcohol. Enjoy moderation. Same goes for food – a little of what you fancy does you good.
Don’t react. When something is upsetting you, bite your tongue and come back to chat about it when you are in control.
Don’t get into debt because of Christmas. Spend within your budget. Santa loves bringing one present to each child, perhaps with a surprise!
Don’t get too distracted during the holidays by fussing, tidying, cooking etc. Be present for your loved ones.
Don’t hold grudges. People make mistakes. Forgive easily so you can enjoy Christmas in each other’s company.
Don’t stress about Christmas. It will come and go but what memories will you have?
Don’t argue with family, friends or with anyone – it’s not necessary. Discussion and debate are fine.
Don’t take things too seriously – have fun, laugh, play, smile.
Don’t expect perfection. It is not attainable. Good enough is good enough.
Do take responsibility. Whatever you do or say and how you behave – these are all within your control and are your responsibility. You are an adult, be accountable for your actions.
Do engage in activities that you enjoy with people who are easy to be with.
Do say you are sorry when you get something wrong. Own up. Apologise readily, especially to your children.
Do pay attention to your feelings. If you are not in great form, ask yourself what you can do to improve your mood and act.
Do try to disconnect as much as possible from technology and reconnect with friends and family.
Do write three things every day for which you are grateful. Count your blessings, not your problems.
Do ensure you get enough physical exercise to help you remain calm particularly at what you know will be potentially stressful times.
Do remember that although it takes two people to argue it only takes one to stop. If you are right about something, there is no need to prove someone else wrong.
Do face each day with a positive outlook. Look for the things that are right and good.
Do speak positively about and to others.
Do something today and every day this December for which your future self will thank you!
Every best wish for Christmas and beyond xxx
www.carolinecrotty.ie
When parents are separating, the ideal situation is for them both to sit down, together with their child, and explain the plan for the separation, giving your child as much information as is appropriate based on the maturity of the child. At that time, parents can reassure their child that they, the parents, will always be available and will answer any questions the child might have.
Parents can explain the intended outcome of the separation and affirm that it is a positive change. Parents can chat about and also demonstrate to the child that they are loved, safe and secure and that regardless of what is going on between the parents, the child’s wellbeing always comes first. Reassurance can be given that although the family is changing, it is not ending.
HOWEVER, life doesn’t always allow for the “ideal situation” and thus, each separation is different. Some separations occur following the slow deterioration of a relationship however, for others, something may happen to result in one parent suddenly leaving the family home with the children and without a definitive plan.
Change following separation can be difficult and frought. There may be several questions following separation including “who will live where”, “who’s going to drive/drop/collect”; “how will we manage holidays” and “why?” Be as honest as you can without sounding aggressive and always try to sound grounded and impartial.
It is important that your child has time to process what is happening and to adjust to the new and perhaps unexpected changes. Ensure your teen receives adequate reassurances from you both, as parents, so your child feels in control and as relaxed as possible despite the change in circumstances.
Remind yourself that two happy homes are more beneficial to your child than one unhappy/stress-filled home.
Support your child’s relationship with the other parent during and following separation. Reassure your child that the separation is not your child’s fault. Don’t discuss your former partner’s wrong-doings or complain about them to your child or in your child’s presence.
It may be a good idea for your child to have someone outside of you, with whom they can chat about how they’re feeling and discuss thoughts, worries or feelings such as a counsellor or psychotherapist.
Talk to your child about his/her needs and listen to all opinions. Teenagers are quite reliant on their peers and although you may want your child to see your perspective, they may see life through their lens and focus on their own particular needs and issues. Be patient, talk and listen attentively when your teen speaks and comes to you to chat.
Whenever you have a family occasion, put your child first and make plans well in advance. Try to be as inclusive as possible with all family members. Do not ban your child from forming relationships with your ex’s new partner for example. Always stick to arranged plans and be there when you say you will. It is tempting to buy nice things to cheer up your child but providing love and care is better than providing more stuff – presence rather than presents!
Your child is not there to support you – you’re there to support your child. If you find you are struggling emotionally, please ask for help.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
People talk about “mental health” when they often mean “mental ill-health” or “mental-illness”. We all have ‘mental health’, just as we have ‘physical health’ and it changes throughout our life-time and even over the course of the day. Please care for, safeguard and protect your mental health because it is precious. The more you protect and look after it, the better able you will be to deal with life’s curveballs. Here are some reminders to help protect your mental health:
“Mind your body to mind your mind”. Eat well and regularly. Include natural foods. Increase intake of fruit, vegetables, wholegrains, nuts, beans and live yogurt. Include protein and fatty acids (oily fish, almonds, avocados etc). Avoid alcohol, trans fats, caffeine and high-sugar and processed foods. Cook your own meals. Stay hydrated with water.
Get your sleeping pattern in order. Ensure you get sufficient, good quality, uninterrupted sleep.
Exercise, movement, physical activity – we all know what we should be doing but there’s a big divide between knowledge and behaviour! Decide to move more and do it! Start small and build over time. Baby steps in the right direction are better than no steps! Celebrating those steps can help keep you motivated. Use the stairs, dance or go for a walk. I have a fridge magnet that says “housework won’t kill you but why take the risk” but one way to increase your movement is to do physical chores around the house like hoovering, dusting or cleaning windows. Being physically active helps you feel good and is great for your emotional wellbeing.
Set realistic goals – short, medium and long term. Acknowledge each achievement. Keep focused on the future – the best of life has yet to come.
Do things that you enjoy doing – gardening, painting, baking etc. Be creative when you can.
Give. This can be something small like holding open a door, saluting someone, making eye contact and smiling. Give your time by volunteering or give your energy by doing something nice for others – giving makes us feel good.
Always be kind. Kindness is the universal language. When we help others feel good we feel good.
Try to spot the good things in life and be grateful. Gratitude safeguards our mental health.
Spend time with people that are easy to be with.
Learn to say “no”.
Meet someone for a coffee or for a walk and a chat.
Join a club or start a club. We need social connections.
Stop being too busy to do the things you love and make the time.
Give yourself a break from technology and this includes the tv! Do something practical like read a book, bake, colour, draw, chat, get outside in nature, journal about your day, take a bubbly bath – there are so many things to do instead of being plonked in front of the tv.
Do something outside of your comfort zone, outside of your usual routine. When you feel discomfort in a safe environment/setting, remind yourself that it’s healthy and good.
Stop comparing.
Accept yourself as you are. You’re perfect. There is only one of you.
Be gentle with yourself when things go wrong. Praise you when things go right.
Learn how to relax and live with stress. Take up yoga or Tai-Chi, read a magazine, play with your children or a pet, listen to great music, sing out loud, write poetry, stand outdoors and admire the trees or the skyline.
Take time alone for yourself by yourself every day. I sit in my car when I return from work before I enter my house so that I leave work outside my home.
Smile. It brightens up those around you and also your face!
Learn how to control your breath. Breathe in slowly through your nose, hold for a couple of seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Breathe into your tummy rather than into your upper chest. Do this for a couple of minutes a couple of times a day. We all have to take bathroom breaks so why not breathe slowly and deeply every time you’re in the bathroom or when you wash your hands or turn on the kettle. There are opportunities for calm breathine but you must be disciplined! You’re worth the effort!
Get help. If you need it, ask for it. No one needs to face a problem on their own. We are better when we work together.
Find someone with whom you can talk about your issues or difficulties. If that person is a professional such as a counsellor, doctor, psychotherapist, psychologist, you can rest assured that whatever you say will be kept confidential.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Just as we know how important good quality natural food is for our bodies, it is important that we acknowledge how important sleep is for our overall health and wellbeing.
It is likely that each of us will have difficulty sleeping at some point in our lives. Not getting enough sleep or having disrupted sleep is very common. At any given time, about one third of adults are experiencing sleep difficulties i.e. trouble falling asleep, waking during the night or waking too early.
Good sleep is characterised by appropriate timing, sufficient duration, high quality, regularity and alertness during waking hours. There are several repercussions of insufficient or interrupted sleep which include memory impairment, increased risk of accidents, cognitive deficits and increased BMI. Yes, sleep quality can cause weight gain! When we are sleep deprived, we even find it hard to make simple decisions and we are certainly not in the best mood!
As well as being implicated in complex cardiovascular and mood disorders, the quality and quantity of sleep that an individual gets determines the risk of developing metabolic or immune system disorders. Sleep helps our brains and bodies recover and promotes both physical and psychological wellbeing.
Sleep is not optional – it is vital for optimum health and wellness.
The amount of sleep we need is very individual – teenagers can need 8-10 hours while adults over 25 years need 7-9 hours per night. At times we will need more e.g. pregnancy, post-operative or recuperating from illness. When our sleep is interrupted by newborns for example we must catch up on sleep when we can. We can also have sleepless nights due to illnesses and discomfort. Sleep is very individual but as an adult over 25 years aim to for a minimum of 7 hours every night.
Sleep is an essential component of physical and mental health as well as general wellbeing.
If you have difficulties with sleep, reassure yourself your sleeping pattern will soon be regularised.
Follow a nightly routine.
As part of that routine, consider burning a lavender candle; listening to relaxing music; practicing calm breathing or writing a gratitude list.
Have specific times for going to bed and for waking up.
Avoid staying up late and sleeping in late (even on weekends or days off).
Get sufficient sunlight every day.
Keep bedrooms tidy and dimly lit.
Avoid naps in the late afternoon or for longer than 20 mins.
Avoid screens and bright lights at night including TV, laptop or handheld electronic devices because they wake us up and can stop the hormone melatonin which helps us sleep.
Alcohol and cigarettes negatively affect sleep.
If you wake at night, resist the urge to check the time, instead, reassure yourself that you will catch up on sleep another night.
Wear bed-socks to keep you warm while you sleep.
Keep bedroom temperatures neither too hot nor too cold.
Exercise during the day but not too late into the night.
Beds are for adult fun and sleep and not for worrying, watching tv, eating, etc.
Don’t eat too late but don’t go to bed hungry.
Avoid caffeine after lunch or completely if possible.
If you are having difficulty with your sleep routine, or if you find yourself lying in bed at night with your brain trying to find different issues for you to worry about, then please talk to someone. Help is at hand – reach out and ask.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
(in no particular order!)
Most of us could use a few reminders to help make our lives easier and happier. Here are 50 tips for life that might help you feel more content – if you put them into practice!
Yes that is 51! I couldn’t resist.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Anxiety is as natural as breathing! Although we often view it as negative, anxiety is not all bad – it helps keep us motivated and focused, it changes our behaviour in a productive way i.e. look how anxiety gets us going when we are nearing an assignment or work deadline!
However, if you are wasting time thinking about worst case scenarios or catastrophising – here are 20 top-tips to help alleviate those anxious feelings:
www.carolinecrotty.ie
We overindulge on drink throughout December with parties and Christmas celebrations. January is usually a dry month, often because we are broke, but what about February? Perhaps it’s a month to rethink our drinking.
Alcohol is intertwined in our lives, so much so, that when a person doesn’t drink there must be a reason – pregnancy, antibiotics, illness, recovering alcoholic?! And we often hear “well, you’ll just have something small so or maybe a hot toddy” like that’s not really drinking!
We know cigarettes are bad for our health, but we don’t think about alcohol being bad. Alcohol is linked with several cancers including mouth, bowel and throat and cutting down the amount we drink could potentially reduce the risk of alcohol-related cancers.
Alcohol is not just connected to cancer, it leads us to say and do things that we cannot unsay or undo. It causes us to engage in risky sexual behaviours, to put ourselves in danger and make dodgy decisions. Alcohol dulls our memory and is linked with heart and liver-disease, osteopetrosis, high blood pressure, poor sleep, anxiety, and depression, (there is a long list).
Make informed decisions about your alcohol intake.
You do not need alcohol to function, or to relax. You don’t need alcohol to engage with others, to make you more interesting, to help you sleep or dance better! If you do, perhaps it’s time to re-think your drinking.
Cutting down means you can avoid hangovers, save money, get a great night’s sleep and improve mental and physical health.
How to cut down your alcohol intake:
Be drink aware. Pay attention to what you drink, when, how much and why.
Encourage friends/family to support you. Explain that you are cutting down/cutting out.
Don’t bring alcohol home. If it is not in the house you will be less tempted.
Distract yourself at the time you usually drink e.g. shower, walk, dance, vacuum, phone someone, garden, read etc.
Never drink alone.
Change your scenery. Suggest going to the cinema or for a meal instead of going to the pub.
Slow down. Alternating with a glass of water helps us slow the pace.
Set a limit to the number of drinks and stop once your limit is reached.
Consider bringing only enough money for a certain number of drinks when going to the pub.
Finish each drink before ordering/pouring another to help keep track of how much you consume.
Drink from a smaller glass.
Have a bottle instead of a can, a single instead of a double. Pour one glass of wine then put the bottle away.
Increase your alcohol-free days in the week.
Rethink your drink and if you need help to change, help is available – reach out. Please.
A new year, a new me! Really? I don’t know how many times we read and hear this phrase at the start of every new year. I even say it myself as I’m eating chocolates at breakfast time during the end of year holidays! The news is that we are all the same people whether it is January or July. We do not enter a new year suddenly transformed into a different more abstemious person. We might, however, set a goal for ourselves for the year ahead.
Try to remember that you are perfect just the way you are. You don’t need to change and become someone else although you might want to start exercising or shed a kilo or two or perhaps cut down on processed foods etc but do not make your happiness dependent on achieving something in the future. People often say that they will be happy when they reach a target weight or achieve a certain something like a promotion or a new house for example but I am doubtful that it’s an accurate prediction of contentment.
Now is the time to feel great about yourself. If you feel good right now, just imagine how amazing you will feel when you achieve your goals or attain your 2018 resolutions.
If you do not feel too great right now, try not to be too hard on yourself. January is a very tough month for many. Couples often stay together over Christmas knowing that the new year will bring a change to their relationship; being in debt can be stressful or knowing your credit card bill will be severe because of overspending on presents or on the sales; when family has returned to their homes and the house is quiet or not having family members to rely on can leave one person with several responsibilities and that too can feel exhausting.
Returning to work and facing back into our usual routine can also be difficult. Knowing that there is no routine of work can also be upsetting. However, January is not all doom and gloom. I would like to reassure you that if you are having a hard time in January that you are not alone. Several people are feeling like you do right now i.e. not super enthusiastic that it is the start of a new year! This is a common feeling and you are entitled to feel however you feel!
Try to be gentle with yourself. Give yourself a break. Telling someone how you feel, chatting about your worries and fears can help you gain perspective. Talk to a trusted friend or family member or to a healthcare professional.
What can lift our mood in January?
Start with small steps towards achieving your New Year’s goal. When you do something that you know to be good or beneficial, acknoweldge and celebrate your achievements, this will help you continue towards achieving your goal.
Cut down or avoid alcohol to help your system detox after the overindulgences of the holiday period.
Increase your intake of brightly coloured fresh fruit and veg.
Eat at regular intervals. We often go without food for hours and then gorge ourselves on whatever rubbish is to hand. Plan your meals in advance but pay attention that you are eating regularly.
Turn up the music. It transports us in time, makes us feel good and lifts our spirits.
Get out of the house and spend more time in nature. Resist the urge to stay wrapped up indoors and force yourself to get out . You will be thankful that you made the effort to leave the house.
Once it is okay to do so, why don’t you pick up the phone and ask someone to meet you for a coffee and a chat. If they say no then that’s perfectly okay but someone might say yes! Or suggest going for a walk and you have both exercise and a chat all rolled into one!
Movement is key to keeping our bodies healthy and dancing in the kitchen, taking the stars, jumping on the spot, all count as exercise – keep your body active.
Have your bloods checked (including vitamin levels) with your doctor to ensure that your body is in tip top condition. Visit the dentist and optician for check ups. Save up for these health screens if you must but having a clean bill of health is priceless and if there is something that requires attention, finding out in time is crucial to receiving the best care.
Good quality, uninterrupted sleep is vital for our mental and physical health. Working shifts, having small children or a baby will mean your sleep is interrupted so catch up with naps if necessary. Sleep can be rectified over time so seek help to ensure you are getting sufficient good quality uninterrupted shut-eye! See some further info here https://carolinecrotty.ie/sleep/
Having self-confidence to make mistakes or noticing our self-talk and challenging any negative dialogue are worthwhile new year goals. Not eating chocolate at breakfast time is a great goal because minding our bodies is our investment in our future selves.
For this new year perhaps set the goal to be kind to you.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
We tend not to take notice of the health benefits of hugging, so I encourage you to start today.
Give hugs as often as you can to a person, a pet, or even a tree! The benefits of hugging are remarkable.
Hugs do all the following:
Alleviate feelings of loneliness
Elevate mood
Reduce stress
Increase feelings of connection
Convey emotions without any words
Build self-esteem
Increase understanding
Reduce worries and anxiety
Build a sense of safety and security
Relax tense muscles
Reduce physical pain
Boost immune system
Benefit cardiovascular health
Say ‘you are loved’
Show that you care
Extend joy
Help form bonds with others
Increase empathy
Help build trust
By the way I didn’t simply make up this list! The health benefits of hugging are backed by empirical evidence. Research shows that snuggling up to someone or a pet releases the hormone oxytocin that strengthens our immune system, helps lower blood pressure, reduces the stress hormone cortisol, and improves heart rate. There are a great many benefits to hugging, and it has even been connected to helping children toilet-train quickly!
We know that warmth and responsiveness work well for fostering children’s social competence, and there is also evidence that hugs and chatting with children work better than shouting and/or punishment.
Sometimes children or other loved ones push us away or behave in a way that really frustrates us, and often leaves us as adults or parents frustrated and at the end of our patience. Well, that’s possibly when children could really do with a comforting hug.
It is not always easy to offer a hug when you feel annoyed, but it may be best to offer it anyway depending on the situation. You will benefit from the hug as much as the other person. It will help you both feel calmer, safer, and connected.
So when things seem to be going terribly wrong, offer a hug. It says ‘you are loved’ without using any words.
Think of the last time you were in trouble or were stressed about something. How lovely would it have been if someone offered you a hug? I’m sure it would have felt like a relief! You can be that person – and remember – we feel good when we help others. Go forth and hug!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
This post first appeared on mindloftmag.com
The ‘mind bully’ is a regular part of life for most people. The mean-spirited, internal voice that criticises our physical appearance, flaws, conversation etc. The inner critic’s list is endless and is also fond of comparisons, comparing you to family members, friends or to people you don’t know who seem happy, successful, confident etc., particularly when you don’t feel particularly good about yourself. However, the people we compare ourselves to have issues and worries and their own internal critic just like us. Sometimes it can be really hard to feel that we are good enough.
We often have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Successful relationships, owning property, career advancement, having children etc can be the focus of our inner critic. We may feel there is something wrong with us if we don’t hit our self-imposed targets. We lose sight of what we are getting right and of our daily successes. We forget that we are doing okay, that we are alright just the way we are, that we are good enough.
We are not perfect but there is no need to give ourselves a hard time. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We will achieve more if we accept that we are each unique with flaws and limitations and talents and gifts.
Feelings are not facts. Thoughts are not facts. Just because you feel or think something it does not make it true. Don’t be fooled by what you think or feel especially if you are prone to giving yourself a hard time.
Pay attention to how you talk to others when they are in trouble. What tone and words do you use? Do you ‘speak’ to yourself in the same way? If not, why not? You are worthy of gentle words and gestures particularly when you make a mistake or get something wrong.
When we least want to meet people, that’s when we most need them. Stay connected to help you get your thinking back on track.
Give yourself a pat on the back for each little success. Spot the good things that you do every day – like being up out of bed and dressed. Remind yourself you are doing okay. You have come this far despite all the obstacles.
When we accept ourselves as we are right now, it helps us feel content. Appreciate the life you have, it may not be perfect or as you had planned but it is your life. You have talents that the next person doesn’t have.
Acknowledge where you are and what you have achieved. Don’t give yourself a hard time about what you don’t have. Acknowledge the progress and sacrifices that you’ve made to come this far.
Focus on progress rather than perfection. You have come a long way.
Being mean won’t make you feel good. Praise, kindness and gentleness work far better. You are good enough. You’re not perfect and it is okay not to be.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Just because you think something, it doesn’t mean it’s true, even if it feels like it must be true!
If you jump to conclusions and often feel anxious or worried, the great news is that you can learn how to take charge of your thinking, learn to feel calmer and more in control of your thoughts.
If you told me that you would like to change someone else’s thoughts, I’d say you’re out of luck because there’s no hope of changing anyone else. However, if you want to change the way YOU think and change YOUR unhelpful thoughts or thinking patterns, then you can.
Each of us has automatic thoughts and we make assumptions all day long. Self-talk is very important because we tend to believe what we tell ourselves whether it is true or not! I often refer to what we have in our heads as a “mind bully”.
To others, we may look or appear calm but on the inside, we have a running commentary which accompanies us everywhere that can be horrible and nasty. I often ask “would you want to spend time with someone who talks to you the way you speak to yourself in your head?” I am fairly sure that for most people the answer is a resounding “no“.
Our self-talk can be cruel and make it easy for us to jump to inaccurate and often absurd conclusions. We might wake at night thinking terrible things are going to happen. Or we might be scared to quit our job because we are sure that we would fail elsewhere or we might think we would never even get another job. We might end a relationship because we are convinced our partner is too good for us and will run off with someone who’s more attractive, intelligent or interesting than us. We might eat a sweet and think we always fail at diets. The mind bully’s list of topics is endless!
Taking control of our thinking and ultimately learning how to manage our worries starts with our self-talk.
When we know what our thoughts are, then we can work towards replacing negative, illogical or unhelpful thoughts with more logical and rational thoughts.
Firstly, pay focused attention to your self-talk and to what you are thinking. What are you saying to yourself? Is your thinking realistic? Is it catastrophic? Are you logical? Are you mind-reading? Do you jump to conclusions? Do you think you can predict the future with your invisible/imaginary crystal ball?
To challenge negative or irrational thoughts, try completing each of the following questions outlined in bold on a writing pad every day. For other suggestions take a look at this worksheet clear thinking
Where was I?
What happened?
What were my thoughts?
Are my assumptions based on facts?
How was I feeling?
What did I do?
Is there an alternative viewpoint?
What is a more logical and rational thought?
Time back again, what could I do differently?
It’s worth a try! It will help you to start paying attention to your thoughts and shortly, you’ll begin to catch yourself being unfair to you and then, you’ll be able to start challenging unhelpful and unwanted thoughts. Just beccause it feels right, doesn’t mean your thinking is accurate – jumping to conclusions is usually inaccurate and unhelpful.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
In my experience, happiness has more to do with what goes on in our minds than our circumstances (it’s not what happens, it’s how we react that’s important).
Because the longest relationship you will ever have is with yourself, make it a happy one. Don’t think because someone has a huge house, is glamorous or prominent that they are happy! Happiness is different from success. Happiness comes from within and relates to what goes on in our brains rather than our bank accounts!
Happy people work at being happy. They make time to do things that help them feel good. Once you’ve decided you are going to make happiness a priority, sit down and set yourself achievable happiness goals:
Develop daily gratitude. We have much to be thankful for. If you want to be happy focus on what you have not on what you don’t have.
Movement is vital. Stretch before you get out of bed and stretch tense muscles. Walk around your home more often. Keep moving.
Comparisons never work. Stop comparing yourself to people you know or people on line.
Be solutions-focused. If you have a problem – ask yourself, “what can I do about this right now”? Also ask yourself what advice would you give someone else and then take your own advice.
Dance. In the kitchen or go out to dances. It’s easy exercise.
Take your time. Stop rushing. Admire the scenery. Daydream. Look at the clouds. Slowing everything down for a few minutes every day helps your overall sense of wellbeing.
Reduce the time you spend on technology. Be present for friends and family (never use your mobile in the presence of others).
Play to your strengths. Do things that make you feel happy. If you’re good at gardening, brilliant. Get out into the garden and plant veg or flowers or do some weeding. If you are not good at gardening, brilliant. Do something else that you are good at.
Allow the sun to bathe your skin. What sun you ask? Get outside every day and show your skin to the sun for 10 mins. Sunlight aids happiness (and sleep!)
Singing regulates our breathing and it is hard to take yourself too seriously while you are singing (and it doesn’t matter if you sound like a crow – just sing!)
Kindness is a universal language. When you are kind to others you feel happy but remember to be kind to you.
Feed your senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch).
Breathe slowly in and out for a few minutes every day.
Act the eegit. Laugh. Play. Even when we have lots of responsibilities, make time for fun.
Hugs are healing. Hug someone or have a massage.
Do not cultivate negative thoughts, over-analyse, try to mind-read or predict the future.
Concentrate on the present– the only moment over which you have control!
&nb
If we are attempting to change our thinking pattern it can be helpful to analyse what we are saying to ourselves (in our minds). When we know what our thoughts are, then we can work towards replacing negative or illogical thoughts with more positive, rational ones.
Is your thinking realistic? Is it catastrophic? Are you logical? Are you mind-reading? Is your thinking magical (if x then y)?
To challenge negative thoughts or irrational thinking, try completing each of the following questions outlined in bold on a writing pad every day. I have inserted a sample answer.
If you find answering all the questions difficult at first, perhaps start on week one with just the first two questions and the following week answer the first three questions and so on. Before you know it, you’ll be automatically challenging your negative thoughts.
In my car driving home from work.
Someone pulled into the road in front of me and caused me to brake hard. I got a fright because I nearly crashed.
How can people be so thoughtless. That driver is so reckless. He didn’t think about me or the dangers. I could have rear-ended that car. My insurance premium would sky-rocket. I can’t afford another bill. He is such an idiot.
I was fuming. I was so angry I was shaking. I felt like giving him a piece of my mind. I could feel my face turn red and my heart-beat quicken.
I shouted and shook my fist at the driver. I banged my fist on the steering wheel. I drove more quickly.
I didn’t crash. The driver was probably distracted by something else and didn’t see me. This is nothing personal. I can ignore the incident because it is not going to be important in a year’s time. I can focus on the radio, music or calm breathing instead of getting angry. I am in control of my emotions and my thoughts. I am okay. Pull back and allow a greater distance in between me and the car in front because that helps keep me calm.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Ireland is one of the few countries where we both celebrate and commiserate with alcohol. On a hot day, we might head to a beer garden. When the weather is miserable where better to pass the time than in a cosy pub toasting ourselves by the fire? We overindulge throughout December with parties, nights out and Christmas celebrations. January which is usually a dry month (often because we are financially broke). Lent is an opportunity for us to prove to ourselves that we can remain sober for forty days and forty nights (with a permissible blow-out on St Patrick’s Day!) But what about February? It’s a bit of an enigma.
Alcohol is intertwined in our everyday living, so much so, that when a person doesn’t drink there must be a reason – pregnancy, antibiotics, recovering alcoholic? It may be because he/she simply chooses not to drink.
I have noticed a fairly recent shift in our drinking habits. We now drink more at home before we go out and in general having wine with a meal isn’t really drinking. However, wine is no different to other types of alcohol. To our bodies, alcohol is alcohol.
An unpopular piece of health news is that alcohol is linked with several cancers including mouth, bowel and throat. I often think I do not gain fans sharing this information because we would rather ignore the news that alcohol is a carcinogen.
After a recent talk to a community group someone mentioned that I had introduced the topic of alcohol in an unusual way. I explained that my aim is simply to encourage people to think before they have that extra alcoholic drink (and by making minor changes in our lives we can impact our children’s views of alcohol). We know that cigarettes are bad for us but the notion that alcohol is bad…well, that’s not something we really want to think about. Ignorance is bliss but it is also potentially lethal.
Cutting down the amount we drink, could potentially reduce the risk of alcohol-related cancers. Alcohol is not just connected to cancer – it causes accidents and injuries; leads us to say and do things that we cannot unsay or undo. It causes us to fight, stress, engage in risky sexual behaviours and put ourselves in danger which we would never do when not under the influence. As well as dulling our memory and helping us make dodgy decisions, alcohol is linked with heart and liver-disease, high blood pressure, poor sleep, anxiety, depression (there is a long list).
I am not writing about this because I want to scare, annoy or upset anyone. I am encouraging you to make informed decisions about your alcohol intake. You do not need alcohol to function, to engage with others, to make you interesting or to help you sleep. If you do, perhaps you might re-think your drinking.
Cutting down means you can avoid hangovers, save money, get a great night’s sleep, improve mental and physical health.
How you can cut down your alcohol intake:
Encourage friends/family to support you. Explain that you don’t want to be encouraged to drink (and that there is nothing wrong with not drinking).
Don’t bring alcohol home. If it is not in the house you will be less tempted. This doesn’t mean you have to drink all the alcohol in the house to get rid of it!
Examine your drinking routine so that you can decide on what needs to be changed. When do you drink and where?
Distract yourself. Do something different at the time you usually drink e.g. shower, walk, dance, vacuum, phone someone, read.
Change your scenery. Suggest going to the cinema or for a meal instead of going to the pub.
Set a limit to the number of drinks and stop once your limit is reached. You might consider bringing only enough money for a certain number of drinks if you’re going to the pub.
Finish each drink before ordering/pouring another to help you keep track of how much you are consuming.
Slow down. Drinking is never a race! Alternating with a glass of water helps us slow the pace.
Drink from a smaller glass.
Have a bottle instead of a can, a single instead of a double. Pour one glass of wine then put the bottle away.
Increase your alcohol-free days in the week.
Sometimes our thoughts can be negative and we have trouble trying to stop or think of something positive. If we are on a cycle of negative thinking, it is not beneficial and we must somehow stop. It is difficult to be happy while thinking negatively.
When stuck on a negative thinking treadmill, ask yourself the following questions:
Is this a thought or a feeling or is it a fact?
Is this thought beneficial? Is it making me feel good?
What proof or evidence do I have that my thought is true?
What proof or evidence do I have that my thought is not true?
Am I jumping to conclusions?
Am I thinking of the worst case scenario?
What would my friend advise me to do right now?
What would I advise my friend / family member to do in the same situation?
What is the worst thing that could happen? If it does happen, what could I do to help me cope?
Will this be important in six months’ time? Will it matter in two years’ time?
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Health anxiety is when your mind wanders from one health crisis to the next. Constantly checking or scanning your body for something wrong can be quite stressful. Searching on line for symptoms makes you feel worse and the more anxious you are the more anxious you become. Some signs and symptoms of health anxiety include:
You think you are going to die or have a disease the doctor missed.
You had your bloods checked but believe you have an undiagnosed illness.
You go to the doctor hoping to be given an explanation for your symptoms. Your GP can’t find anything wrong and suggests that what you are experiencing may be as a result of stress. You leave the surgery feeling happy that the GP knows best but after a day or two niggling doubts return and the cycle of uncertainty begins again and you are convinced you are very unwell.
You have a dull headache which you try to ignore. You tell your doctor who reassures you that you are well. You begin to think the headache is a brain tumour. You check on line and find evidence that you have the symptoms of a tumour and think your GP must have missed something. You return to your GP who says your headache is because you have been working/training hard and are dehydrated. You are reassured and leave the GP’s surgery feeling happy. Later that night you question why your GP didn’t refer you for a scan – you cannot be certain you don’t have a brain tumour without a scan and decide you need a second opinion.
I can help you to identify whether you have health anxiety. If you do, together we can devise a plan to help you relax and regain control over your thoughts, feelings and behaviours. I can help you to learn how to reassure yourself that you are well, safe and healthy so that you no longer experience fear of death/illness. Through therapy you gain perspective and learn how to successfully overcome unwanted thoughts and you also gain insight – why do you think the way you think.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
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