Whenever I hear the word “lesson,” it might bring to mind school homework but here, it takes on a different meaning. The lessons in this collection are about learning from the following suggestions and gaining new insights that can shape your perspective and behaviour.
This set of 50 lessons is designed to inspire growth, cultivate balance and help you thrive across all areas of life – personal development, health, relationships and financial wellbeing. Each reminder gently nudges you towards living with purpose and intention, offering practical steps to embrace change, nurture self-care and build meaningful connections. Let these lessons guide you to a healthier, happier and more fulfilling life ahead.
These reminders can guide you towards a healthier, happier and more purposeful year ahead. Which resonates most with you? Which will you put into practice today?
Wishing you joy, love, please, health and great contentment this year.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
I find it fascinating that Halloween originated in Ireland. Ancient Celts celebrated the festival of Samhain when it was believed that the souls of the dead returned to Earth. Druids lit sacred bonfires, wild costumes were worn, and the Celtic deities were appeased with offerings. It was a festival of great fortune-telling and I’d bet there wasn’t a pumpkin in sight!
Perhaps you might select a local event this month, head out, and get involved. Connection is a vital element of feeling good about ourselves. Conversely, loneliness can have a profoundly negative impact on our health and well-being. Try to connect with others and embrace the fun aspect of October.
“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” (Jim Goodwin / Sydney J. Harris)
At work, I often ask, ‘how do you relax?’. People respond that they watch television, lie on the sofa or have a glass of wine. Whilst these activities are pleasant, they’re not relaxation skills. When we are healthy, we rarely pay attention to our breathing. However, controlling the pace of our breath is itself a relaxation skill. When we master breath control, we are better equipped to manage our worried or stressed reactions.
Humans encounter stressful situations. We cannot control the future or prevent unpleasant events, but we can learn how to relax our bodies and minds with diaphragmatic breathing. Because we differ, we relax in different ways. We owe it to ourselves to discover which relaxation skills best suit us as individuals, then practice and hone our favourite skills.
Diaphragmatic breathing can help improve focus and is used by singers, divers, and athletes
to improve lung capacity. Breathing too quickly can make us feel dizzy or even a little anxious. Taking slow, regular breaths can help us control worried or stressed thoughts and anxious feelings, and help us feel more relaxed and in control.
To control your breathing, place one hand on your chest and the other on your tummy. Inhale slowly through your nose, and imagine your breath is filling your abdomen like a balloon. The hand on your tummy moves. Some pause for a couple of seconds before breathing out slowly (I exhale through my mouth). The hand on your tummy moves as you exhale. The hand on your chest remains still. (This is where practice is required). Repeat this ten times twice per day. You don’t need to use your hands once you master diaphragmatic breathing. You can use this relaxation skill anywhere, anytime.
You’re breathing into your lungs while consciously engaging your diaphragm, focusing on your breath while reducing physical symptoms of anxiety.
This Halloween, enjoy doing something different, eating barmbrack, playing snap apple or apple bobbing, going trick or treating and practising your diaphragmatic breathing!
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Anyone who regularly reads anything I write knows that I recommend learning how to control our breath and breathing! I even go so far as to suggest that when you learn that skill, it is life-changing.
Our typical, everyday breathing takes place without us ever having to pay attention to it, it happens automatically rather like our heart beating or our pupil size changing. Breathing might be something we do not pay attention to or think about. However, it is possible to bring our conscious attention or focus to our breath and to slow it down. This in turn, positively impacts our heart rate.
Diaphragmatic breathing is something we hear about but might not fully understand. A diaphragm (pronounced dye-ah-fram) is the dome-shaped muscle involved in breathing and other bodily processes (from posture to vomiting)! Several nerves pass through the diaphragm so what happens with our diaphragm can be experienced elsewhere including in our brains.
We know our breathing is affected by our thoughts, emotions, behaviours and by stress. When we are stressed or get a fright, our breathing changes and our pupils dilate. Our bodies react to the stressor, our neurons are activated and our bodies react. That fight / flight response is left-over from our predecessors when predators were a reality. Predators are not a concern for us now! Whether it is getting an injection or giving a presentation or there’s an approaching tiger – our neurons fire in the same way as they did for our hunter-gatherer ancestors sending a plethora of chemicals and hormones into our system.
Nowadays, to cope when stressed, we might be tempted to eat high carbohydrate foods or consume food in general but this is not the most appropriate solution – having something that we could do in the moment is a more helpful stress-reducing tool!
BREATHING! Breathing is the way forward – it’s a stress-busting technique that we can do any time, anywhere and no one needs to know we are doing it!
Andrew Huberman, Neurobiologist at Stanford University is working to try to figure out breathing patterns and stress. He and his team of researchers examined the benefits of what they refer to as physiological sighs.
Remember when you were young and cried so hard that you did a double-intake of breath in the aftermath of the crying (or maybe even while crying)? That’s a stress relieving technique and we didn’t even know! Dogs often do it when sleeping – take a double-intake of breath. Huberman found that breathing in a double-inhale through the nose, followed by an extended exhale through the mouth has an active part to play in our stress response. This is something we can do – at any time.
The science behind this physiological sigh is the double inhale through the nose allowing oxygen in, causes alveoli within our lungs to open, in turn allowing us to offload extra carbon dioxide in our long exhaled sigh out.
Any time you get to inhale and exhale slowly with focus you are doing yourself a favour! When you are feeling stressed, do this (double inhale and slow exhale) once or twice and it will help you feel calm despite whatever is going on.
Remember – you are wonderful!
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Now that we are in May 2020, whether we are cocooning or shielding, working or not, trying to be a teacher to our children or living alone, regardless of our current circumstances it is reasonable to say we are all somehow affected by Covid-19.
Stay connected. Even when we are living on our own, relationships are key to feeling in control. Connection with others will help us get through this difficult time. Reach out to organisations that provide telephone listening services if you do not have someone in your life to contact. Knowing that someone is at the end of the phone is comforting.
We feel good when we know we are helping others. Reach out and connect with people particularly those living alone. Family members are often the last to know when someone is lonely or struggling. A regular phone-call might be all someone needs to feel less afraid. “Hello, how are you?” those four words connect us.
Avoid information saturation. We do not need constant Corona updates. Decide what information you need, from what source and stick with that. Be disciplined with your day. The constant stream of information can drain our mental and emotional resources. We might have a radio on in the kitchen, a tv sounding in another room, whilst talking on our mobile. Sit with silence every now and then.
It is beneficial for our minds to give whatever we are doing our full attention. Focus on the task in hand. Look for whatever brings joy – admiring flowers, bird song, cloud formations, reading fiction etc. When we focus our attention, we quieten and gain control over our thoughts. Stop running on autopilot. Become conscious of all actions. Being mindful helps us keep our thoughts in -the present and not in the anxious-uncertain-future or the regret-filled-past.
To remain calm while Covid-19 is our new reality have structure and routine. Have a daily plan which includes exercise, self-care, social time/connection, meals, breaks, reading, prayer… whatever plan you make, try to adhere to it. Go to and get out of bed at set times. Shower. Get your day off to a good start by dressing well. When we feel we look good, we feel good. It does not matter whether anyone sees you, you see you. Try not to worry if it is difficult to sleep the whole night through, rest and relaxation are beneficial. If you cannot sleep on a persistent basis, firstly chat with your pharmacist who might have suggestions but please seek help.
Challenge your brain. Keep your mind active. Text or brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand. Do puzzles/jigsaws. Try something demanding and keep those cogs turning! Perhaps do a free online course like those on alison.com or coursera.org
Never underestimate the importance of water for brain function. Being hydrated helps: lubricate joints; flush waste products; prevent digestive difficulties; keep temperature regulated; boost exercise performance; promote kidney health; deliver nutrients to cells; prevent infections; keep skin supple; improve sleep quality, cognition and overall mood. By drinking more water than you are losing, you are helping your heart do its job. Stay hydrated by sipping water throughout the day.
Spring is here. Summer is on the way.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
A friend of mine told me she cried for a whole day when her son was offered his college course of choice. She didn’t cry happy tears but cried because her baby is moving to Dublin and life, as she knows it, will be forever changed.
At this time of year, young adults move away from home to take up third level courses or full-time jobs; children start primary and secondary schools. We may notice that it is dark earlier in the evenings or that foliage is changing to more autumnal tones. September is indeed a time of change.
This month, I am encouraging you to undergo great change – that is to challenge the unhelpful habit of trying to figure out what others think of you.
Worrying and thinking about what others think of you can be a huge drain emotionally and a waste of our precious time. We never get back any of the time that we waste worrying.
I often hear sweeping statements like “everyone thinks that I’m …” or “I know what they’re thinking about me”. These statements are simply not true. Not everyone is thinking about us and we never know what is going on in someone else’s mind.
Stop paying attention to what other people think of you and, instead, pay attention to what you think of you.
I understand the concern. We want people to like us. we want to fit in. We don’t want to appear stupid or weird or different. Who wants to be the outlier?
Sad but true – other people don’t think about you all that often. People are just like you in that they are thinking about themselves and about what is going on in their own lives. Even when someone looks at you funny (according to you!) perhaps they are trying to remember whether they locked the back door or paid a utility bill or they might be trying to figure out whether the car insurance is due for renewal!
We go about our daily lives with oodles of thoughts racing through our minds. Life is busy. Not everyone is thinking about you even when you think they are.
Shift your focus. We cannot stop worries from popping into our minds, but we can decide to focus our attention elsewhere and not give those worries so much airtime. Change your attention to something more helpful and positive.
Remind yourself that we all make mistakes. It is part of being human. Some mistakes are way bigger than others with life-altering repercussions. It does not matter what you have done, you are never the first to do it! You won’t be the last person to make a mistake or to say the wrong thing.
Try to pay attention to what you think about you rather than trying to figure out what others think of you. Get worries off your chest by telling someone trustworthy. A problem shared is a problem over which you gain perspective.
Pay attention to the things that you get right and to how you treat others. Being kind and compassionate are more relevant than the human mistakes that you make.
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Information Overload isn’t new. It has more recently changed so that now, rather than have too many books to read, we have technology demanding our attention. We too are demanding of attention or potentially vying for the attention of others on social media. We are slowly learning that too much screen time may affect our attention span. Learning To Pay Attention to ourselves is beneficial and using a breathing meditation is time spent caring for you i.e. self-care.
Self-care is not self-indulgent, it is vital. Depending on our age, we may not have been taught about self-care in school but as adults, we independently learn that in order to give our best we must care and look after our bodies and minds.
A short breathing meditation can help us relax, gain focus and manage our worries or stressful thoughts.
I am not a mindfulness teacher neither am I am meditation master. My training is in counselling and psychotherapy. However, in my experience, when we learn how to focus our minds on something other than worry or bothersome thoughts, our attention can be a remarkably useful tool.
We can’t stop thoughts or worries from popping into our minds but what do we do with them once there? We can allow any thoughts to be present, while we learn how to bring our attention to our breath.
Using a meditation exercise can help us to be present in the here and now and not back in the past or flying off into the future, not caught up in our imagination. This is not about controling our thoughts or getting rid of them.
Mindfulness involves practicing bringing our attention back to the present, to the here and now – whenever it wanders off.
As an analogy, attention is like a muscle. If we don’t regularly use the muscle, it can become weaker. However, with regular exercise we can strengthen and build it.
Meditation exercises, like learning any new skill, require practice. Here’s one that takes only three minutes initially which, in time, can be increased to ten mins twice per day. In my experience, allowing ourselves even a couple of minutes every day to mindfully breathe is beneficial and relaxing.
Sit in a chair and get yourself comfy. Pay attention to your body and ask yourself, “what do I feel right now? What are my feelings? And what are my thoughts?” Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and to all the sensations in your body. Describe these experiences to yourself. Don’t judge or alter anything. Accept. Spend up to one minute doing this.
Bring your focus of awareness to your breath. Focus on the sensations of your breath as it enters and leaves your tummy. Bring your awareness to the sensations of movement in your tummy and allow your thoughts to go, to leave you as you breathe. Breathe in as you say ‘relax’ and on each exhalation say “calm”. If your mind wanders, do not try to change the thoughts or make them leave. Acknowledge their presence, allow them to be there, then allow them to go, returning your attention and focus to your breath and breathing. Spend up to two minutes doing this.
Extend your awareness to sensing your whole body breathing. Become aware of sensations throughout your body. If your mind wanders to various thoughts or feelings, acknowledge them and let them go and return your focus to sen1sing your whole body breathing. Spend about two mins doing this.
As you become more familiar with this skill of “letting go”, wherein you choose to notice but let go of thoughts, emotions or sensations, this is the ideal time to increase the time. Acknowledge and appreciate what you are doing, allowing yourself time to settle your mind, to breathe, to pay attention to you.
Attention is like a muscle and with regular exercise, a muscle works really well! Breathing meditation is the same – the more often you allow yourself time to do it, the easier it gets as the more skilled you become!
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