What is mental health?
Mental health refers to a person’s emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, and it also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Good mental health is not just the absence of mental health problems, it is also the ability to maintain balanced mental and emotional well-being.
Mental Health Challenges
It is important to acknowledge that mental health is a continuum, and everyone’s experience is unique. A mental health challenge refers to any condition or situation that affects an individual’s mental well-being and hinders their ability to function effectively in daily life. These challenges can range from common issues like stress, anxiety, and mood fluctuations to conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Common Mental Health Challenges
Mental health challenges can impact a person’s thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and overall quality of life, and they may require various forms of treatment and support for management and recovery.
For adolescents, mental health challenges often stem from academic pressure, social dynamics, and significant life changes. Conversely, adults may face stress from work, relationships, financial responsibilities, and parenting.
Both age groups can experience a range of issues, including anxiety, depression, stress, and mood fluctuations. Recognising the signs and symptoms is the first step towards managing them.
Coping Strategies and Self-Help Techniques
Mindfulness and Meditation
Adolescents: Simple mindfulness exercises, such as mindful breathing during study breaks, can be integrated into daily routines.
Adults: Longer meditation sessions can help manage work-related stress and improve focus.
Exercise
Adolescents: Engaging in sports or outdoor activities is an excellent outlet for stress and helps improve mood.
Adults: Regular exercise, whether a gym session or a brisk walk, is crucial for mental and physical well-being.
Healthy Social Connections
Adolescents: Building strong friendships and having a trusted peer group is essential for emotional support.
Adults: Maintaining relationships, whether with friends, family, or colleagues, provides a support network that is invaluable during challenging times (allow them to help you!).
Both groups: spending time with people who make us feel good is beneficial for our mental health. Connection is a pillar of our wellbeing. As adolescents, our peers are paramount and we want to feel accepted. Allow friends to help you – spending time in their company is great. The temptation might be to cut ourselves off when not feeling great but instead, force yourself to do the right thing which is hang out with others. Not having to answer questions or even to speak, and simply being in the company of others is healthy and helpful.
Journaling and Creative Outlets
Adolescents: Journaling or engaging in creative activities such as art or music (playing, listening, singing, creating playlists etc) can help adolescents express emotions.
Adults: Creative hobbies or writing can be therapeutic, providing a break from daily routines and a way to process thoughts and feelings.
Balanced Lifestyle
Adolescents: Establishing a routine that includes time for study, relaxation, and prioritising sleep is crucial.
Adults: Work-life balance is crucial. Ensure to carve out time for relaxation and hobbies and again prioritise sleep.
Professional Help
Both Groups: Seeking help from a mental health professional is a sign of strength, not weakness. Therapy (with a counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist) can provide tailored strategies for individual challenges.
Adults: Support Groups include:
And Seniorline phone service
Adolescents:
Educational Resources
Both Groups: Educating oneself about mental health challenges can demystify many aspects and help reduce stigma. Asking for help, knowing what is going on in one’s body/mind and managing symptoms can help give a greater sense of control. Everything changes and it is vital to keep hope for that change and improvement in mood. Keeping our brains active is also healthy for our long-term brain health. Stress Control Court from the HSE using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is available here here
Coping strategies for mental health challenges are not a one-size-fits-all, and what works for me might not work for you. Keep at it and you will find what best suits your individual needs. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and taking proactive steps to manage it is crucial for a fulfilling life.
“I alone can do it but I cannot do it alone”.
Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.*
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There is much theoretical debate about the separation of mind-body. My understanding is that our minds provide our individual subjective experiences – our thoughts, feelings, memories or consciousness. Our minds and bodies are not separate entities as (put simplistically) our brains note what is going on in our bodies and watch out for changes in posture, heart rate, breathing, or muscle tension for example.
How we experience an event can depend on our appraisal of the situation. For example – although this is extreme, imagine that I jump from a diving board into a swimming pool, my brain can sense that my body is falling. I feel excited. Versus the scene where I accidentally fall from a diving board, the pool is empty; my brain senses that my body is falling, however, it’s an entirely different emotional experience. Our brains are involved in what’s going on in our bodies but our thoughts and appraisals determine our feelings.
When we consciously tell ourselves that we are excited about something rather than fearful it can change how we feel. We can trick ourselves into believing that we are excited (when otherwise we might say we are afraid). Our body and brain do not necessarily separate fear and excitement, and the conscious thoughts we use to describe feelings to ourselves can change our experience.
That mind-body connection is very evident when we are on rollercoaster rides, bungee jumps or watch horror films because we are provided with an enjoyable fear response! My level of fear may not match yours. Or pain, while it’s not an emotion, is something that we all subjectively experience, but no one can tell us how much pain we experience. Neither do people experience pain in the same way. I find the 1-10 pain-scale impossible to complete because I might think a pain is a full 10 until an 11 strikes! Or my 10 is your 5! I’m mentioning this is because our thoughts impact how we feel and we each feel a little differently and have different thoughts. You might say you’re feeling stressed or excited or afraid or that you’re in pain but it may not be the same experience for the next person.
What we do with our bodies impacts our feelings. Sleep, hydrate, regularly eat healthy and nutritious food, exercise (cardio and weight-bearing), stretch, breathe deeply, and when you care for your body, you have the added bonus of potentially safeguarding your emotional health. Our mind-body or brain/thoughts, feelings/emotions are interlinked.
Humans experience stress. Sometimes we ignore stressors and put the head down and keep going! Perhaps we might pretend to ourselves that we are not in financial debt or that our partners are absent but our bodies might give us a warning sign such as a migraine, upset stomach, sore neck or back etc. When we pay attention to our feelings and to our emotions, it can help us deal with the source of sadness, stress or anxiety. We can make a plan of action to tackle whatever is causing us to feel subpar. Connection is vital to our wellbeing so joining a group to be in the company of others if life is solitary is very helpful. Here’s a link to some meet-up groups I found on Google (and I can’t recommend this – just information-sharing!)
Create a healthy mindset. Set aside time every day or at least every second day to focus on something important to you – take action! You are important. You deserve care. Mind yourself. For a healthy mind – mind your body. Journal to keep track of whatever helps improve your mood and use that list as a reminder when you need a pick-me-up. Make time to do things that you enjoy. Connect with others, seek social support, accept you and accept change. Life is not static. Keep perspective. Reassure yourself you’re doing your best.
Your thoughts impact your feelings – watch those thoughts!
Feed your mind as well as your body. Make a plan of action to tackle worries and overcome whatever is thwarting your efforts to positively sync your mind-body so you can feel good physically, emotionally, mentally etc.
When struggling emotionally, self-care can prove difficult. No one knows how you feel just by looking at you so be open with your GP who can advise and might be able to refer you for free counselling via CIPC (Counselling in Primary Care) if you’ve a medical card. Alternatively, contact www.mymind.org which provides low-cost counselling throughout Ireland. Talking therapy such as counselling or psychotherapy whether online or virtual or face to face can help give you perspective on self-doubt, limiting beliefs, upsetting thoughts and help motivate you towards achieving what you want in your life.
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We enter romantic relationships giving our trust and our hearts to another with the hope that neither will be broken. The reality is that most of us know what relationship breakups are like and how it feels to have our hearts broken or at least scarred or dented!
People of every age attend counselling and psychotherapy following the end of a relationship. Any relationship ending, regardless of its length, can leave us reeling. If you are experiencing loss following a relationship breakup, here are some pointers that might help:
Firstly, allow yourself to feel however you feel. When grieving the loss of a relationship and the loss of future plans, it helps to identify emotions rather than block them. There’s nothing wrong with crying (although it’s awkward at work or in the supermarket)! Be reassured that the intensity of the emotion lessens over time. Initially, we might go through a vast array of reactions including shock or disbelief, sadness, anger, fear, guilt, jealousy, regret, swearing off any future relationships etc and although we think we are stuck in our sadness for ever, our feelings change.
Sometimes the overwhelming sense of loss follows a period of numbness or vice versa and both reactions are equally human! There is no single, linear response to loss or grief. Our reactions are as individual as we are so there’s no right or wrong way to experience grief or loss so we go through it and we recover bringing our new learning to the next relationship.
Because we may not have been the person to end the relationship, we may feel rejected and get stuck on questions such as ‘What’s wrong with me that he doesn’t want to be with me?’ and if our ex is in a new relationship ‘What does his new partner have that I don’t have?’ This is typical but unhelpful. Try to manage thinking and thoughts so that mentally you don’t enter a wormhole of rejection. We rarely think, ‘what’s wrong with him that he doesn’t want to be with me’ which might be more useful!
Be supported by others. Talking about the loss is helpful regardless of how private you are. Share thoughts and feelings in confidence with a trustworthy friend or with a therapist. G.P.s have contact details of local counsellors or psychotherapists and www.mymind.org provides a sliding scale of fees throughout Ireland.
Although we might not feel like meeting people, stay in friendly contact. We might find ourselves in a position where our friendship group changed as a result of the relationship loss, so try to say ‘yes’ to social invites because spending time in the company of others is beneficial. It takes our minds off ourselves even for a little while. Be with people who are easy to be with and who value your company. If it seems like committing to social engagements is simply too much of a struggle or output of energy, then perhaps take time out to heal and decline invitations, however, put a time-limit on the social break so it doesn’t extend indefinitely and become social isolation.
Invest in a journal and start writing! Use the journal as a positivity notebook – despite the presence of dark emotional clouds, writing something positive every day or writing a positive word can be helpful. Reminiscing on past achievements or issues that you’ve previously overcome can feel pleasant in the present. If journaling about your feelings is helpful, then go for it! Write what you have learned from your relationship so you can improve future relationships.
Examine what might have been done differently, but not in a self-loathing way, more from a learning perspective – what’s the lesson to be learned from this hurt and heartache?
Communication is difficult and we may feel like we were never heard or listened to by our former partner. Rather than carry negativity, blame and resentment towards the other person, remind yourself that you tried your best and the intention was never that anyone would be hurt.
Concentrate on how you can best look after yourself now and into the future. Make a plan of action (in your new journal) or start a new routine for meeting the basic needs of diet, sleep, exercise, relaxation, social interaction etc. Write a daily or weekly schedule, regardless of how simple, because it can help to provide a sense of purpose and achievement when completed. Include self-care as part of the routine whether it is to walk in a forest or play music you love (or both at the same time!), making time to care for yourself is important for healing and recovery.
Exercise is critical to your recovery – it helps utilise stress hormones that can cause physical symptoms e.g. aches and pains, an upset tummy or digestive issues.
Avoid unhelpful and unhealthy choices following a relationship breakup such as using illicit drugs or relying on alcohol to cope or overeating, self-harm, over-working or excessive gambling. Constantly distracting yourself from the reality of your life and the loss may work for a little while but not indefinitely. Instead, pay attention to what you need to soothe yourself and consciously encourage yourself.
Try not to keep false hope that they’ll come back and all will be well once ‘they see sense’. Life is too short to wait for someone to return following a relationship breakup. Respect their decision and choice to end the relationship. Do you want to be with someone who does not want to be in a relationship with you, or who doubts the future success of your relationship? If the answer to this question is ‘no’, then allow them to leave. Sometimes when hurt, it can be helpful to set a time-limit or deadline after-which it is important to acknowledge that the relationship is over, when acceptance becomes the priority (not revenge or ill-will, but acceptance).
Spending time on our own with our thoughts is growthful. Being independent and being able to identify and meet our own wants and needs will benefit all future relationships.
Although it might feel very daunting initially, there is life, love and happiness after relationship breakups.
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