Parents: Calm-Down Plan

Calm-Down: Plan for Parents Worksheet

This printable worksheet supports parents who want to reduce shouting and respond calmly to their children even during difficult moments.

Step 1: Know Your Triggers

What behaviours or situations usually push your buttons?

Step 2: Recognise What You Feel

Before you react, can you name what’s happening inside you? What do feel?

Step 3: Press Pause

When you’re close to snapping, give yourself a moment – a micro-pause – to remember:

This moment will pass.
My child is learning. Learning from me.
I am shaping our future relationship.
My child won’t stay small forever. One day, they’ll remember how I responded to their hardest moments.
I am doing my best – I am in control of this.

Pause Thought Prompts:

“What do I want them to remember about me in this moment?”
“Is this an emergency or just uncomfortable?”
“How can I bring calm instead of chaos?”

Step 4: Choose a Calming Strategy

Pick one or two to practise when tension rises:

Box Breathing (In 4, hold 4, out 4, hold 4)
5-4-3-2-1 Grounding: Name 5 things you see, 4 feel, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste
Hand on Heart: Say “I’m here. I can do this.”
Step outside or change rooms for 60 seconds
Splash cool water on face or wrists.
Hum or sigh on your exhale on the longest exhale you can give
Shake out hands or sway side to side

Use a grounding phrase:

“I can handle this.”
“I’m an adult.
Write your own calming phrase: ______________________

_____________________________

Step 5: Plan What to Say Instead of Shouting

Create one or two go-to sentences that can help you stay regulated:

“I’m feeling overwhelmed. I need to press pause.”
“This is difficult. Let’s try again together.”
Your own suggestion: _____________________________

Step 6: After the Moment Has Passed

Use this space to reflect:

What worked well? _______________________________________
What might I do differently next time? __________________________

This isn’t about being a perfect parent (because they don’t exist)! This is about being present and practising a new way, over and over. I believe that you’ll get there! (eventually) You are not failing. You are learning.

Caroline Crotty | www.carolinecrotty.ie | hello@carolinecrotty.ie