What is mental health?
Mental health refers to a person’s emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, and it also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Good mental health is not just the absence of mental health problems, it is also the ability to maintain balanced mental and emotional well-being.
Mental Health Challenges
It is important to acknowledge that mental health is a continuum, and everyone’s experience is unique. A mental health challenge refers to any condition or situation that affects an individual’s mental well-being and hinders their ability to function effectively in daily life. These challenges can range from common issues like stress, anxiety, and mood fluctuations to conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Common Mental Health Challenges
Mental health challenges can impact a person’s thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and overall quality of life, and they may require various forms of treatment and support for management and recovery.
For adolescents, mental health challenges often stem from academic pressure, social dynamics, and significant life changes. Conversely, adults may face stress from work, relationships, financial responsibilities, and parenting.
Both age groups can experience a range of issues, including anxiety, depression, stress, and mood fluctuations. Recognising the signs and symptoms is the first step towards managing them.
Coping Strategies and Self-Help Techniques
Mindfulness and Meditation
Adolescents: Simple mindfulness exercises, such as mindful breathing during study breaks, can be integrated into daily routines.
Adults: Longer meditation sessions can help manage work-related stress and improve focus.
Exercise
Adolescents: Engaging in sports or outdoor activities is an excellent outlet for stress and helps improve mood.
Adults: Regular exercise, whether a gym session or a brisk walk, is crucial for mental and physical well-being.
Healthy Social Connections
Adolescents: Building strong friendships and having a trusted peer group is essential for emotional support.
Adults: Maintaining relationships, whether with friends, family, or colleagues, provides a support network that is invaluable during challenging times (allow them to help you!).
Both groups: spending time with people who make us feel good is beneficial for our mental health. Connection is a pillar of our wellbeing. As adolescents, our peers are paramount and we want to feel accepted. Allow friends to help you – spending time in their company is great. The temptation might be to cut ourselves off when not feeling great but instead, force yourself to do the right thing which is hang out with others. Not having to answer questions or even to speak, and simply being in the company of others is healthy and helpful.
Journaling and Creative Outlets
Adolescents: Journaling or engaging in creative activities such as art or music (playing, listening, singing, creating playlists etc) can help adolescents express emotions.
Adults: Creative hobbies or writing can be therapeutic, providing a break from daily routines and a way to process thoughts and feelings.
Balanced Lifestyle
Adolescents: Establishing a routine that includes time for study, relaxation, and prioritising sleep is crucial.
Adults: Work-life balance is crucial. Ensure to carve out time for relaxation and hobbies and again prioritise sleep.
Professional Help
Both Groups: Seeking help from a mental health professional is a sign of strength, not weakness. Therapy (with a counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist) can provide tailored strategies for individual challenges.
Adults: Support Groups include:
And Seniorline phone service
Adolescents:
Educational Resources
Both Groups: Educating oneself about mental health challenges can demystify many aspects and help reduce stigma. Asking for help, knowing what is going on in one’s body/mind and managing symptoms can help give a greater sense of control. Everything changes and it is vital to keep hope for that change and improvement in mood. Keeping our brains active is also healthy for our long-term brain health. Stress Control Court from the HSE using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is available here here
Coping strategies for mental health challenges are not a one-size-fits-all, and what works for me might not work for you. Keep at it and you will find what best suits your individual needs. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and taking proactive steps to manage it is crucial for a fulfilling life.
“I alone can do it but I cannot do it alone”.
Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.*
www.carolinecrotty.ie
We enter romantic relationships giving our trust and our hearts to another with the hope that neither will be broken. The reality is that most of us know what relationship breakups are like and how it feels to have our hearts broken or at least scarred or dented!
People of every age attend counselling and psychotherapy following the end of a relationship. Any relationship ending, regardless of its length, can leave us reeling. If you are experiencing loss following a relationship breakup, here are some pointers that might help:
Firstly, allow yourself to feel however you feel. When grieving the loss of a relationship and the loss of future plans, it helps to identify emotions rather than block them. There’s nothing wrong with crying (although it’s awkward at work or in the supermarket)! Be reassured that the intensity of the emotion lessens over time. Initially, we might go through a vast array of reactions including shock or disbelief, sadness, anger, fear, guilt, jealousy, regret, swearing off any future relationships etc and although we think we are stuck in our sadness for ever, our feelings change.
Sometimes the overwhelming sense of loss follows a period of numbness or vice versa and both reactions are equally human! There is no single, linear response to loss or grief. Our reactions are as individual as we are so there’s no right or wrong way to experience grief or loss so we go through it and we recover bringing our new learning to the next relationship.
Because we may not have been the person to end the relationship, we may feel rejected and get stuck on questions such as ‘What’s wrong with me that he doesn’t want to be with me?’ and if our ex is in a new relationship ‘What does his new partner have that I don’t have?’ This is typical but unhelpful. Try to manage thinking and thoughts so that mentally you don’t enter a wormhole of rejection. We rarely think, ‘what’s wrong with him that he doesn’t want to be with me’ which might be more useful!
Be supported by others. Talking about the loss is helpful regardless of how private you are. Share thoughts and feelings in confidence with a trustworthy friend or with a therapist. G.P.s have contact details of local counsellors or psychotherapists and www.mymind.org provides a sliding scale of fees throughout Ireland.
Although we might not feel like meeting people, stay in friendly contact. We might find ourselves in a position where our friendship group changed as a result of the relationship loss, so try to say ‘yes’ to social invites because spending time in the company of others is beneficial. It takes our minds off ourselves even for a little while. Be with people who are easy to be with and who value your company. If it seems like committing to social engagements is simply too much of a struggle or output of energy, then perhaps take time out to heal and decline invitations, however, put a time-limit on the social break so it doesn’t extend indefinitely and become social isolation.
Invest in a journal and start writing! Use the journal as a positivity notebook – despite the presence of dark emotional clouds, writing something positive every day or writing a positive word can be helpful. Reminiscing on past achievements or issues that you’ve previously overcome can feel pleasant in the present. If journaling about your feelings is helpful, then go for it! Write what you have learned from your relationship so you can improve future relationships.
Examine what might have been done differently, but not in a self-loathing way, more from a learning perspective – what’s the lesson to be learned from this hurt and heartache?
Communication is difficult and we may feel like we were never heard or listened to by our former partner. Rather than carry negativity, blame and resentment towards the other person, remind yourself that you tried your best and the intention was never that anyone would be hurt.
Concentrate on how you can best look after yourself now and into the future. Make a plan of action (in your new journal) or start a new routine for meeting the basic needs of diet, sleep, exercise, relaxation, social interaction etc. Write a daily or weekly schedule, regardless of how simple, because it can help to provide a sense of purpose and achievement when completed. Include self-care as part of the routine whether it is to walk in a forest or play music you love (or both at the same time!), making time to care for yourself is important for healing and recovery.
Exercise is critical to your recovery – it helps utilise stress hormones that can cause physical symptoms e.g. aches and pains, an upset tummy or digestive issues.
Avoid unhelpful and unhealthy choices following a relationship breakup such as using illicit drugs or relying on alcohol to cope or overeating, self-harm, over-working or excessive gambling. Constantly distracting yourself from the reality of your life and the loss may work for a little while but not indefinitely. Instead, pay attention to what you need to soothe yourself and consciously encourage yourself.
Try not to keep false hope that they’ll come back and all will be well once ‘they see sense’. Life is too short to wait for someone to return following a relationship breakup. Respect their decision and choice to end the relationship. Do you want to be with someone who does not want to be in a relationship with you, or who doubts the future success of your relationship? If the answer to this question is ‘no’, then allow them to leave. Sometimes when hurt, it can be helpful to set a time-limit or deadline after-which it is important to acknowledge that the relationship is over, when acceptance becomes the priority (not revenge or ill-will, but acceptance).
Spending time on our own with our thoughts is growthful. Being independent and being able to identify and meet our own wants and needs will benefit all future relationships.
Although it might feel very daunting initially, there is life, love and happiness after relationship breakups.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
There is no need to shout at your children. We all know that shouting doesn’t work! But even when parents know it doesn’t work, the bizarre thing is that they continue to shout at their children and often claim “it’s the only way I can get my children to listen to me”.
Ask yourself whether you would tolerate someone shouting at your children? Is it acceptable?
What would you say if I shouted at your children? Why is it okay for you to shout at them?
I am not referring to shouting if there is a fire or to prevent a child from running onto the road for example. I am talking about shouting at your child to correct them. The “don’t talk to your brother like that” “stop fighting over the game” “don’t test my patience” type of shouting! I am also talking about shouting at your children because of stuff going on in your life. You’re frustrated, stressed out or anxious and something happens that tips you over the edge and you shout. Please don’t take your difficulties or issues out on your children.
It might interest you to note that parents who shout cause reactions in their children that are similar to them being physically punished.
Shouting is an expression of anger and has the potential to make a child feel scared. Shouting can increase behavioural problems in children and negatively impact their self-esteem.
If your shouting comes with a tirade of verbal putdowns, name-calling or insults because you have lost control, this constitutes emotional abuse which brings with it potential for anxiety and also for aggression in your children.
Stop shouting. Please. For your own sake as a parent but more importantly for your children and their emotional wellbeing.
I have heard arguments that “our parents shouted and it didn’t do us any harm” but we now know, from studies, that shouting has a negative impact on children’s development.
Remind yourself that you are your child’s role model. Model the behaviour that you expect from your child. Set clear boundaries for behaviour. You don’t shout because you don’t want your children to shout. Praise your child’s efforts. Give lots of hugs (at the right times).
Children who are most often in trouble for unaccepable behaviour are children who may be most in need of positive attention and affirmation and certainly in need of plenty hugs.
Start today. Explain that shouting is no longer tolerated in your family. That you were wrong to shout. That you will all stick to this new family rule. Show your children that you are in control of your emotions and that you (no longer) lose your cool. Explain that you are now going to step away from the area if you feel that you are getting frustrated / angry and think you might shout. Return to chat when you are more chilled.
You do not need to raise your voice to be heard. Go to where your children are, rather than shouting to them from another room. Meet them at their level rather than speaking down to them.
Teach children about emotions and feelings and discuss how you feel. For example, explain that you feel angry (at behaviour rather than at your child) and instead of shouting and screaming, demonstrate that you are in control of your emotions and can speak about the situation.
Always be respectful of your children. While you are practicing your new rule of no shouting, if you happen to raise your voice be very quick to apologise and explain why you were wrong and then start again.
You can do this!
If you need some help to manage your anger, please reach out.
www.carolinecrotty.ie
Christmas is almost here! Some of us will be thrilled with this and some of us, less so. Christmas can be a time of great joy or huge stress (or both)! Christmas can be a difficult time, particularly when it is the first Christmas without a loved one or when there has been a change to the family composition. Every first is tough following a life change so aim to do things at your own pace and remember to be kind to you.
Here are some “dos and don’ts” for Christmas 2018.
Don’t overdo it and exhaust yourself – remember to make time for breaks, rest and relaxation.
Don’t try to do everything yourself – delegate and ask for help.
Don’t rush. Slow down; taste, smell, enjoy and savour every moment.
Don’t assume everyone shares your expectations for Christmas. Respect that others may not have the same plans or traditions (‘each to their own’).
Don’t drink too much alcohol. Enjoy moderation. Same goes for food – a little of what you fancy does you good.
Don’t react. When something is upsetting you, bite your tongue and come back to chat about it when you are in control.
Don’t get into debt because of Christmas. Spend within your budget. Santa loves bringing one present to each child, perhaps with a surprise!
Don’t get too distracted during the holidays by fussing, tidying, cooking etc. Be present for your loved ones.
Don’t hold grudges. People make mistakes. Forgive easily so you can enjoy Christmas in each other’s company.
Don’t stress about Christmas. It will come and go but what memories will you have?
Don’t argue with family, friends or with anyone – it’s not necessary. Discussion and debate are fine.
Don’t take things too seriously – have fun, laugh, play, smile.
Don’t expect perfection. It is not attainable. Good enough is good enough.
Do take responsibility. Whatever you do or say and how you behave – these are all within your control and are your responsibility. You are an adult, be accountable for your actions.
Do engage in activities that you enjoy with people who are easy to be with.
Do say you are sorry when you get something wrong. Own up. Apologise readily, especially to your children.
Do pay attention to your feelings. If you are not in great form, ask yourself what you can do to improve your mood and act.
Do try to disconnect as much as possible from technology and reconnect with friends and family.
Do write three things every day for which you are grateful. Count your blessings, not your problems.
Do ensure you get enough physical exercise to help you remain calm particularly at what you know will be potentially stressful times.
Do remember that although it takes two people to argue it only takes one to stop. If you are right about something, there is no need to prove someone else wrong.
Do face each day with a positive outlook. Look for the things that are right and good.
Do speak positively about and to others.
Do something today and every day this December for which your future self will thank you!
Every best wish for Christmas and beyond xxx
www.carolinecrotty.ie
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