Years ago, when I woke in the middle of the night, sleep would simply elude me and I would start to anticipate how exhausted I was going to be the following day! I’d even calculate the remaining hours I had in bed. That’s not very relaxing!
Now, instead of getting anxious about being awake in the middle of the night, I reassure myself that I will not stay awake forever, that eventually I will sleep and my body and mind know exactly what they are doing!
Over the years I have learned a few techniques which help with falling asleep and returning to sleep once woken. What works for me nowadays is busying my brain with maths problems whilst paying attention to my breathing. My mind gets tired and I sleep. Sounds too simple? It works for me but it took a while before I reached the sweet spot where my brain associated sleep with adding numbers together!
If you are not keen on counting or adding numbers like 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256 etc., perhaps try listing every car or colour or boy’s name that you know starting with the letter A and work your way through the alphabet. For example, Audi, Bentley, Cadillac / Apple, Banana, Cherry / Adam, Brian, Charlie, etc. Make a mistake and start from the beginning – the idea is that your mind is engaged because you’ve given it a task to do instead of worrying and your brain slows down and you fall asleep. It won’t happen the first night but be persistent and eventually it should work because your mind will associate listing with sleeping. That’s the goal here – creating an association with sleep and your bed.
Go to bed and get up at a set time and stick to those times – even on weekends or days off only allow yourself a one-hour lie-in. This might not be possible if you’re working shifts or have small children or health problems. Try to keep to a routine and do the same things every night so you are sending signals to your body and mind that you are preparing for going to bed to sleep.
Have a wind-down time: put on your pyjamas, brush your teeth, read a book but avoid your mobile, computer and all forms of hand-held screens before sleep time. Having a shower before bedtime can also help with sleep as our core body temperature drops when we sleep and after having a shower, so it can be a good sleep aid.
Not only is caffeine found in coffee and tea, but also in cola, chocolate, and energy drinks. Enjoy your morning coffee if you wish but avoid caffeine from lunchtime onwards. Even if you are able to fall asleep easily, caffeine affects the quality of your sleep. Going without caffeine for just one day can improve sleep quality.
Alcohol may seem to aid sleep but actually impairs sleep quality. It disrupts the natural sleep cycle and diminishes REM sleep, which is important for mental restoration. Avoid drinking alcohol to unwind or to fall asleep.
Ensure your bedroom is conducive to sleep: relaxed, tidy, and cool. De-cluttering can create a calming environment that feels good to spend time in.
Keep bedrooms free from technology and bright lights at night. Light inhibits melatonin production, a hormone essential for sleep. Avoid watching television in bed to ensure the brain associates the bed with sleeping and not stimulation.
Your bed is for adult fun and for sleeping – not for worrying or stressing. Calmly reassure yourself that your body knows when to sleep. Avoid counting down the hours or catastrophising about lack of sleep.
Calm breathing is an excellent sleep aid. Journaling, particularly gratitude journaling, can also support relaxation. Write three positive things daily, even small joys, to help shift your focus towards calmness and contentment.
Views on naps vary: if you must nap, keep it short (no longer than 30 minutes) and avoid napping after 3.00pm. Those with disrupted nighttime sleep due to small children or health issues should rest when needed.
If your alarm feels jarring every morning, aim to gradually go to bed earlier. Ideally, waking without an alarm means you are naturally rested.
Exercise supports sleep but avoid late evening workouts. Similarly, avoid heavy meals before bedtime but do not go to bed hungry. Exposure to daylight every day also benefits your mood and sleep-wake cycle.
Keep a notebook beside your bed. If worries wake you, jot them down to deal with in the morning. Converting worries into a ‘to-do list’ can be empowering. Avoid using your phone to take notes to prevent screen stimulation.
Dr Wendy Troxel notes that “great sleep is the new great sex.” Sleep is critical for emotional regulation, resilience, and physical health. Sleep requirements vary, but the quality of sleep is crucial for all.
Poor sleep can lead to increased blood pressure, higher stress, weight gain, impaired memory, and cognitive decline. As adults, we too suffer irritability and reduced functioning from sleep deprivation. Sleep is vital for every aspect of our wellbeing.
If you have difficulty sleeping for a prolonged period, it is advisable to consult your doctor or medical adviser. You deserve restful, restorative sleep.
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