Ever get a random flash/memory of someone you used to have great craic with? Maybe a school friend or former work colleague from ages ago? Someone you drifted from but still smile whenever you think of them? Well, that little mental nudge might be worth paying attention to.
We often assume that if someone’s no longer in our lives, it’s for a reason. Of course, sometimes that’s true: boundaries, life changes, shifts in values, etc., and all are completely valid. But other times, life just got busy, people moved home or country or you changed jobs. They had children. The bond didn’t break, it just got buried under life and logistics.
Rekindling a friendship with someone you genuinely liked from your past can be incredibly nurturing and nourishing. Why?
You already share a history – there’s no need to explain yourself from scratch. There’s comfort in “Remember that time we…”
Laughter – you probably laughed together. That kind of easy laughter, well, that’s gold dust.
Identity reconnection – people from your past can remind you of who you used to be. And sometimes, we need that reminder.
Joy without pressure – if the reconnection is light, genuine and mutually welcome, it doesn’t need to be a big emotional project. It can just be … really nice.
Psychologically speaking, reconnecting with meaningful relationships can boost wellbeing, reduce loneliness and strengthen your sense of self-continuity, the feeling that your life follows a coherent narrative, rather than being just a random series of jobs, people and forgotten passwords.
If someone pops into your mind, not with dread or regret but with warmth then maybe send them a message. The worst that might happen is silence. The best? You get a little bit of joy back. And that’s no small thing.
A gentle reminder… if you reach out to someone from your past, try not to expect too much. This isn’t about rekindling a deep bond overnight or picking up exactly where you left off. And just to be clear, this is about friendships, not old flames or romantic relationships and this certainly isn’t about ‘the one that got away’. The goal here is lightness, warmth and shared history but not emotional pressure. Some people might not respond. Others might not be in the same place as you. That’s okay. The value is in the gesture, in reaching out, reconnecting with who you were back then and seeing what’s possible now.
Is it healthy to reconnect with old friends?
Yes, reconnecting with people from your past especially those with whom you had a genuine connection can boost your mood, reduce feelings of loneliness and support your mental health. It can be a powerful part of emotional healing and personal growth.
What if I feel nervous about reaching out?
That’s completely typical or normal. Start small: maybe send a simple message or hello! If the friendship had a strong foundation, there’s a good chance it will feel easy to pick up again. Remember, there’s no pressure for it to become something intense, a light reconnection can be beneficial.
Why do old friendships feel so comforting?
Old friends remind us who we used to be and offer a sense of self-continuity or the feeling that our life has a story and a thread running through it. That can be especially comforting during times of change, uncertainty or self-reflection.
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