You Are Exactly Where You Need to Be in Your Grief

There’s No Right Way to Grieve: Trust Your Own Process

Grief is not linear. It certainly does not follow a straight line and it never looks the same from one person to the next. There is no “right” way to grieve. You are exactly where you need to be in your grief even if it feels messy, confusing or different to what you expected.

Some people cry often. Others carry on with their lives feeling strangely calm. Some days might feel normal, while others might feel impossibly heavy. All of it is valid.

You might notice that your experience of grief looks different to that of the people around you. You might even feel guilty for not crying “enough” or not feeling overwhelmed “enough.”  But grief is not a competition. It is not something that can be measured or compared. Your grief is yours. Others’ grief is theirs. You are exactly where you are supposed to be and exactly where you need to be.

When facing huge demands such as college exams, a work project, TY placement, the Leaving Cert or daily life responsibilities, your mind naturally prioritises coping. You may even be operating at full cognitive capacity. This does not mean you did not love your parent (or loved one) or that you are unaffected by their loss. It simply means your grief is unfolding at its own pace, in its own time.

You are not grieving the “wrong” way.
You are not failing to feel “enough.”
You are processing a profound loss in a way that fits your life and your needs right now.

You are exactly where you need to be.

Grief moves at its own pace. If feelings shift or change over the coming weeks, months, or even years ahead, that is a natural part of your grieving journey – one you can meet with gentleness, resilience and self-understanding.

There is no rush. There is no comparison.
Where you are today is completely okay.

Be compassionate, kind and supportive towards yourself – just as you would be towards a sibling or close friend.  However your grief unfolds – now or in the future – you will find ways to cope, to heal and to live alongside your loss with courage and care.

You are wonderful.

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