Jumping to Conclusions

Do you jump to conclusions?

Just because you think something, it doesn’t mean it’s true, even if it feels like it must be true!

If you jump to conclusions and often feel anxious or worried, the great news is that you can learn how to take charge of your thinking, learn to feel calmer and more in control of your thoughts.

If you told me that you would like to change someone else’s thoughts, I’d say you’re out of luck because there’s no hope of changing anyone else.  However, if you want to change the way YOU think and change YOUR unhelpful thoughts or thinking patterns, then you can.

Each of us has automatic thoughts and we make assumptions all day long.  Self-talk is very important because we tend to believe what we tell ourselves whether it is true or not!   I often refer to what we have in our heads as a “mind bully”.

To others, we may look or appear calm but on the inside, we have a running commentary which accompanies us everywhere that can be horrible and nasty.  I often ask “would you want to spend time with someone who talks to you the way you speak to yourself in your head?” I am fairly sure that for most people the answer is a resounding “no“.

Our self-talk can be cruel and make it easy for us to jump to inaccurate and often absurd conclusions.  We might wake at night thinking terrible things are going to happen.  Or we might be scared to quit our job because we are sure that we would fail elsewhere or we might think we would never even get another job.  We might end a relationship because we are convinced our partner is too good for us and will run off with someone who’s more attractive, intelligent or interesting than us. We might eat a sweet and think we always fail at diets. The mind bully’s list of topics is endless!

Taking control of our thinking and ultimately learning how to manage our worries starts with our self-talk. 

When we know what our thoughts are, then we can work towards replacing negative, illogical or unhelpful thoughts with more logical and rational thoughts.

Firstly, pay focused attention to your self-talk and to what you are thinking. What are you saying to yourself?  Is your thinking realistic? Is it catastrophic? Are you logical? Are you mind-reading? Do you jump to conclusions? Do you think you can predict the future with your invisible/imaginary crystal ball?

To challenge negative or irrational thoughts, try completing each of the following questions outlined in bold on a writing pad every day. For other suggestions take a look at this worksheet clear thinking

Where was I? 

What happened? 

What were my thoughts?

Are my assumptions based on facts?

How was I feeling?

What did I do? 

Is there an alternative viewpoint?

What is a more logical and rational thought?

Time back again, what could I do differently? 

It’s worth a try!  It will help you to start paying attention to your thoughts and shortly, you’ll begin to catch yourself being unfair to you and then, you’ll be able to start challenging unhelpful and unwanted thoughts. Just beccause it feels right, doesn’t mean your thinking is accurate – jumping to conclusions is usually inaccurate and unhelpful.

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