Parents: Calm-Down Plan

Calm-Down: Plan for Parents Worksheet

This printable worksheet supports parents who want to reduce shouting and respond calmly to their children even during difficult moments.

Step 1: Know Your Triggers

What behaviours or situations usually push your buttons?

• Defiance
• Tantrums
• Repetition (asking the same thing repeatedly)
• Whining
• Mess / chaos
• Public behaviour
• Other: ________________________

Step 2: Recognise What You Feel

Before you react, can you name what’s happening inside you? What do feel?

• Frustration
• Embarrassment
• Powerlessness
• Guilt
• Tension
• Anger
• Overwhelm
• Other: ________________________

Step 3: Press Pause

When you’re close to snapping, give yourself a moment –  a micro-pause – to remember:

• This moment will pass.
• My child is learning. Learning from me.
• I am shaping our future relationship.
• My child won’t stay small forever. One day, they’ll remember how I responded to their hardest moments.
• I am doing my best – I am in control of this.

Pause Thought Prompts:

• “What do I want them to remember about me in this moment?”
• “Is this an emergency or just uncomfortable?”
• “How can I bring calm instead of chaos?”

Step 4: Choose a Calming Strategy

Pick one or two to practise when tension rises:

• Box Breathing (In 4, hold 4, out 4, hold 4)
• 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding: Name 5 things you see, 4 feel, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste
• Hand on Heart: Say “I’m here. I can do this.”
• Step outside or change rooms for 60 seconds
• Splash cool water on face or wrists.
• Hum or sigh on your exhale on the longest exhale you can give
• Shake out hands or sway side to side

Use a grounding phrase:

• “I can handle this.”
• “I’m an adult.
• Write your own calming phrase:   ______________________

_____________________________

Step 5: Plan What to Say Instead of Shouting

Create one or two go-to sentences that can help you stay regulated:

• “I’m feeling overwhelmed. I need to press pause.”
• “This is difficult. Let’s try again together.”
• Your own suggestion: _____________________________

Step 6: After the Moment Has Passed

Use this space to reflect:

• What worked well? _______________________________________
• What might I do differently next time? __________________________

This isn’t about being a perfect parent (because they don’t exist)!  This is about being present and practising a new way, over and over. I believe that you’ll get there! (eventually) You are not failing. You are learning.

Caroline Crotty | www.carolinecrotty.ie | hello@carolinecrotty.ie