Being good enough

Being good enough

The ‘mind bully’ is a regular part of life for most people.  The mean-spirited, internal voice that criticises our physical appearance, flaws, conversation etc.  The inner critic’s list is endless and is also fond of comparisons, comparing you to family members, friends or to people you don’t know who seem happy, successful, confident etc., particularly when you don’t feel particularly good about yourself.  However, the people we compare ourselves to have issues and worries and their own internal critic just like us.  Sometimes it can be really hard to feel that we are good enough.

We often have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Successful relationships, owning property, career advancement, having children etc can be the focus of our inner critic.  We may feel there is something wrong with us if we don’t hit our self-imposed targets.  We lose sight of what we are getting right and of our daily successes.  We forget that we are doing okay, that we are alright just the way we are, that we are good enough.

We are not perfect but there is no need to give ourselves a hard time.  No one is perfect.  We all make mistakes.  We will achieve more if we accept that we are each unique with flaws and limitations and talents and gifts.

Feelings are not facts.  Thoughts are not facts. Just because you feel or think something it does not make it true.  Don’t be fooled by what you think or feel especially if you are prone to giving yourself a hard time.

Pay attention to how you talk to others when they are in trouble. What tone and words do you use?  Do you ‘speak’ to yourself in the same way?  If not, why not? You are worthy of gentle words and gestures particularly when you make a mistake or get something wrong.

When we least want to meet people, that’s when we most need them. Stay connected to help you get your thinking back on track.

Give yourself a pat on the back for each little success.  Spot the good things that you do every day – like being up out of bed and dressed.  Remind yourself you are doing okay.  You have come this far despite all the obstacles.

When we accept ourselves as we are right now, it helps us feel content.  Appreciate the life you have, it may not be perfect or as you had planned but it is your life.  You have talents that the next person doesn’t have.

Acknowledge where you are and what you have achieved.  Don’t give yourself a hard time about what you don’t have. Acknowledge the progress and sacrifices that you’ve made to come this far.

Focus on progress rather than perfection. You have come a long way.

Being mean won’t make you feel good.  Praise, kindness and gentleness work far better.  You are good enough.  You’re not perfect and it is okay not to be.

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